3 Days Before the Wedding

Ji Eun’s POV.

“Follow your heart.”

That is what _____________ has always been saying to me ever since we were in college.

Its one of the few things I will always remember from her, and at the same time it’s a part of those things that put a huge impact to me.

_________________, I can say is not my college best friend, but she is someone I know I can trust and lean on anytime of the day. Truly, she is a simple girl with big dreams in life, yet she is full of different unique things that make her special to people, like me.

I love those simple talks we’ve shared at the school cafeteria, those late night phone calls exchanging answers from our home work, those laughs we’ve shared that some other people don’t understand why we do that.

And like any other girls, we would always talk about this someone who is very special to us.

Calm, sweet, and kind.

Those are the three words she would often tell me whenever I ask her about that someone special of him, no name, no description, none at all.

But I can tell, that every time that we talk about this one special guy of him. She is happy, definitely under his spell.

She is in love.

If we will ask, when are we going to meet this guy, she would just smile and say that we will meet him soon.

And  yes we waited and waited, but no other man was introduced to us

Except for YoungBae.

I remember, it was already 8 in the evening that time when the meeting and the arrangement for our project ended. She was quite nervous going home since it was raining so hard, the thunder and lightning filled the night.

She doesn’t like those.

I told her I’ll accompany her going home, and suddenly while reading a message from her phone, her face brighten up, and a small smile grew on her lips.

“No, its okay. Bae will pick me up later.”, she said, all smiles

YoungBae. YoungBae is __________________’s best friend. Best among the best, she would often tell me.

Indeed, he was the best, the best guy I have ever met.

We went down our college building and saw YoungBae was sitting near the stairs waiting for her.

Upon seeing her, he stood right away with that smile on his face, as his hand reached for ______________’s head, tapping it slightly.

Looking at them both, I can feel that there is something deeper between the two, something more meaningful, something that has been there already, strong and going stronger.

Something unbreakable.

She introduced me to YoungBae, proud, with the sparks in her eyes. I gave him a simple yet sweet smile in reply.

He took a glance and then smiled at me, but those eyes all went back to _____________ again.

That was the first time I met him, but I admit, now I do understand why _____________ would always tell me that he is the best.

Because after that, he never left my mind.

I was so quiet about it especially with ____________________. I’m a bit embarrassed and at the same time hesitant to tell her that I’m starting to like his bestfriend.

And it grew even more, especially at that time when we meet more often because of ______________.

Calm, sweet and kind.

Those were the words that came out of my mouth describing YoungBae.

Same as ________________.

At first I really didn’t want to believe or acknowledge that thinking that ______________ actually like YoungBae, or YoungBae actually like _________________.

I was so confused at that time, trying not to think this kind of this things.

Until one night, __________________ called, telling me that YoungBae wants to get my number.

For some reason, I don’t understand why things happen so sudden.

Surprised, I wasn’t answering __________________’s question at that time, that I still want to absorb what she just said to me. I felt relieved and at the same time happy, ecstatic. I said yes, and after a few minutes, he called, and with a nervous tone, he asked me out on a date.

My answer would not be a guess anymore.

Those dates were followed, and he would often visit me at school. Having late dinners, exchanging stories.

I may look selfish at that time, but for me that was clear enough that there was nothing between ______________ and YoungBae.

But as I grew closer and closer to him, I feel ______________  is starting to avoid me. Well, not really but I can feel that there is a distance growing between us both.

She would still be there like she has been before. She still would listen to me in everything I complain. But There are times that she would just be quiet and all, like in a deep thought.

Those hangouts and late night phone calls with her lessened, thought we still talk with each other in school, I feel a barrier between us.

Often times, whenever I tell her about YoungBae and I’s moments she would just smile, and say how glad she is for the both us, and then looks away. Sometimes, she would put up an excuse and then leave me with some of our friends.

Her relationship with YoungBae never changed. YoungBae never really changed on how she treats ___________.

That there are times that I would get jealous of ______________, that YoungBae takes care of her more that he should be taking care of me. I don’t know what I was thinking but I felt I was competing with ____________ on YoungBae’s attention

I didn’t mean to demand, but at that time being his girlfriend, I have the power to say it to him, right?

From that day, I saw some changes with YoungBae. But I would sometimes catch him calling ________________, or going home a little late than usual because he will have a talk with _______________, and often times it pierce my heart seeing him looking at some of their pictures together with a smile on his face.

And yet, I love him, I love him more than anything else.

Me and ___________ graduated, left school, and have things on our own.

YoungBae became known to everyone as TaeYang, a part of a very popular hip hop band named Big Bang. I, work for my parent’s company, while ____________ put up her restaurant, something she had been dreaming eversince

Me and ________________ grew distant, but my relationship with YoungBae grew stronger.

I did not feel her presence for like a year, though I would hear her name sometimes with one of the band members, SeungRi. I would only see her in the studio sometimes, hanging out with them.

I knew from then on something was wrong with both of us, and I have tried my best to act like there was nothing going on.

And that day came, where unexpectedly, he asked my hand in marriage.

Saying that yes, was indeed one of the best moments of my life, but honestly went I was left alone, I thought and ask myself,

“Did I just said the right words?”

Doubts played into my head again, I feel that there was something wrong. That I’ve stand for something I know that would hurt me in the end.

But I know, I know I had to fight for it no matter how hard it takes.

I’ve hold on until now, to fight for what I’m feeling, to keep the fire burning.

But if only one moves to protect what you have, it isn’t the same.

I saw changes in him. He grew colder, and colder every day that pass. But whenever I will speak out ______________’s name, he suddenly becomes aware or I should say it’s ________________ that keeps him moving everyday.

It hurts, it really hurts to see him happier, sweeter, and a lot more concerned to her than me. It hurts to feel that the one you love is starting to be farther and farther to you every single day.

But it hurts to feel that you stepped on to someone’s happiness just so you could have what you want.

At the bridal shop, I can see sorrow on ______________’s eyes. I know she is hurt, really hurt deep inside, but she didn’t bother to tell me and even to her own best friend. And those eyes, they always convey the same message every time I see them, most especially when he is with me.

I’m selfish, so selfish… and it felt like, I stole something to _____________________.

Follow your heart, _______________ would always say to me.

But in the past few days, I realized, our hearts should not always be the basis of every decision we make, we have to use our minds as well.

It’s placed higher than our hearts to remind us that our hearts could only be the guide to find the answers,

But its our minds that still has the final decisions.

Our hearts could control too much, that we never have the time to weigh the situations.

My mind finally spoke.

Its been raining here since Monday, I wasn’t able to go out and talk to _____________________. And all I do is to wait for YoungBae to call.

My phone then rang surprisingly, finally it’s him.

“Hey, did you receive my message a while ago?…”, I asked, teary-eyed, with a shaky voice. I took a deep breath, thinking of what to say, and how to say it.

“…I need to tell you something important….”