Struggles
DecisionsSupport flooded for Hana as Mr. Oh, Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Wang, Byung hun, So-hyun, Jin goo and even Sehun’s coworkers visited her every now and then. Sehun was still going to his office for work but he would arrive earlier than expected and spend the night in the hospital. Sometimes, he or Suzy would pass by their house to check on it and get some essentials like Hana’s clothes. However, besides Suzy, someone was always by Hana’s side and kept her away from loneliness- Jongin.
“Teacher K! Look! I already made a rose and a tulip!”
Jongin watched as Hana smiled and pointed at the flower origami she made with him. However, he could not smile whole heartedly, because even though the girl was trying her best to be as cheerful as she was before, she could not hide the fatigue. Jongin’s eyes inspected every detail that has changed in her in the past month. She had become skinny and the swelling below her neck and armpit were already visible. Her lips were chapped and her complexion was paler than normal. It saddened Jongin when he realized that her soul and energy was the same as before but it was her body which was giving up.
“What’s your favorite flower, Hana?” Jongin asked, trying to brush off all his negative thoughts.
Hana gave a small smile as she got a pen and started to draw something on the remaining piece of paper. As soon as she was done, she showed it to Jongin and the latter was not surprised but then he asked,
“A dandelion?”
Hana nodded with a cheeky smile as she replied, “My mom said that it was my father’s first gift to her, so it was kind of special.”
Jongin gave a bittersweet smile upon reminiscing the moment him and Sehun made Suzy see a dandelion for the first time and then he said, “Then that makes it your mom’s favorite, and not yours.”
“Well, they grant wishes too,” Hana retorted.
“Dandelions grant wishes,” Suzy’s voice echoed in Jongin’s ears.
“They’re kind of magical, don’t you think?” Hana asked making Jongin snap out of his trance.
“I don’t know,” Jongin whispered as he averted his gaze. “Because the last time my friends and I wished on a dandelion to grant our dreams, it did not become true.”
“What were your dreams?” Hana asked as she tilted her head in curiosity.
Jongin gave out a bitter chuckle as he stared at afar and answered, “My friends wanted to be a preschool teacher and a musician while I wanted to be a dancer.”
Then he looked back at Hana as he added, “But instead, my friend didn’t have the chance to graduate from college and the one who dreamed to be a musician became a businessman instead while I became a music teacher.”
“Are you sad?” Hana said worriedly.
“Perhaps,” Jongin whispered back.
“Well, you only wished for it to grant your dreams,” Hana replied. “Maybe your dreams changed along the way.”
Jongin smiled at the little girl’s reply and chuckled as he said, “You’re way of thinking and speaking is too mature for a six year old, don’t you think?”
“Because I’m turning seven!” Hana said happily but then her smile faded as she said, “And besides, people only lose all the chances they have for their dreams when they’re already dead.”
Jongin’s eyes softened upon hearing the little girl talk about death. He felt his heart thumping loudly as he took the girl’s hands in his and said, “Stop thinking about death, Hana.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Hana whispered and Jongin didn’t miss the glistening of tears in her eyes as she added, “But it really feels like I’m dying.”
“Shhh,” Jongin hushed her as his thumbs caressed her eyelids and he felt like he too, was about to cry but then he swallowed the lump on his throat before saying, “If I have to plant a garden of dandelion to grant my wish of you surviving, I’ll do it. You have to live Hana.”
“You have to win this battle Hana,” Jongin’s voice broke and he tried so hard not to cry as the little girl brushed her tears away and nodded with a bright smile.
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Lee lost count of how many times he said the word and but it also broke his heart to say, “The radiotherapy is not working. Hana’s body is not responding to it.”
Suzy felt like she was about to faint with what she heard and she bit her lip as she slumped on her chair. She blinked numerous times, trying to process the saddening news, until she felt fingers tangling with her own. Sehun intertwined his fingers with Suzy’s and the latter realized that he was trembling madly.
“The cancer cells kept growing,” Dr. Lee continued and he inhaled deeply as he added, “She’s already on stage two.”
Sehun’s and Suzy’s grip on each other tightened and both felt that their eyes were warming up with tears that threatened to fall. They were like grasping each other for support as both of them hoped that the doctor would also offer a solution. He did,
“She’s going to need to undergo chemotherapy. However, I’m afraid it’s costly.”
“We can manage the financial problems,” Sehun quickly responded.
Dr. Lee’s face became more serious as he continued, “And unlike radiotherapy, chemotherapy has many side effects and some of them are serious.”
Min Jung bowed as she greeted Suzy and the latter bowed back, replying with a smile of her own. Suzy tried to help Hana sit up from her bed and she saw how Min Jung’s smile melted into sadness.
“Annyeonghaesaeyo, Teacher Min Jung,” Hana’s voice came out in a whisper.
Hana was skinnier than ever because she would always vomit what she had eaten. Often, she would also find all food unappetizing because of nausea. She needed to take food supplements and she had to take pain killers too. Basically, almost everything she needed for intake was in tablets and it pained Suzy to see her deprived of every mouth watering taste she used to love. However, two months of chemotherapy treatment made another visible remark on Hana- she had already lost all her hair.
“Is my head weird?” she asked when Min Jung did nothing but stare at her.
“A-Ani,” Min Jung quickly replied and shook her head.
“Don’t wo
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