Ha-eun

My head is banging as I open my eyes. I don't remember how I got into bed but I'm thankful because sleeping on the floor would have been painful. I yawn and rub my face to wake myself up from the headache. I tug on the blanket and felt it on every inch of my body, even on places where clothes is supposed to be covering. I peek under the blanket and almost scream, why was I ? Next to me someone groan telling me to share the blanket. I froze and slowly turn, YoungGuk? He was too! He pulls on the blanket to cover himself up.

"What are you doing here?" I scream jumping off the bed pulling the blanket with me.

YoungGuk grabs the bed sheets and tore them off the bed to cover himself. ", what are you doing here Ha-eun?"

"This is my room!"

He looks around, "".

"What happen?" I scream in horror pointing to the blood stain on the bed sheets.

"I don't know." YoungGuk sits back on the bed. "I don't really remember."

I ran into the bathroom and lock myself in there to think. I couldn't stop freaking out with his chest in my face.

YoungGuk knocks on the door. "Ha-eun come out...we need to talk."

"I'm fine. Just go."

"Ha-eun please, I need to know if you're okay."

"I'm okay Guk just go. I'll call you later okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise, I'm fine."

"Okay...if I don't hear from you I'm coming back here you know."

"I know."

I listen as Guk walked around the room and then out. I waited for the sound of his car engine to roar before I got up and open the bathroom door. Facing the evidence of what we did yesterday turn me into a crying mess. How did this happen? I saved myself for the one but here I am wrapped in my bed sheets looking at the bed where I lost myself to a guy I never see myself with. Guk wasn't a bad guy even though he gets on my nerves and all but he was a nice guy once you get to know him. It's just never in a million years I picture myself with him this way, what will happen to us? Will it be awkward that we both saw each other already? Will he tell Ye-eun? What will Ye-eun say? What will YoSeob say? What will my parents do! Gosh I hope they don't find out.

I pick myself off the floor and start pulling all of the linen off the bed. Grabbing some clean undergarments and clothes I walk back into the bathroom and showered. I had to get rid of the crime scene to make myself feel better. If it wasn't here for me to look at then maybe I won’t feel so guilty.

I cooked breakfast and stuff myself full and then pulled out a desert baking book. I rummage in the pantry and found all the things I need for baking. For the rest of the day I baked everything from cookies to a wedding cake. Baking made my mind stop thinking about what I did. When dinner came along I waited for Guk to come but six turned into seven and seven turned into midnight. He wasn't coming and I'm not sure if I was relieved or if I was disappointed.

YoungGuk

"What are you doing?" Zelo ask looking at me walk around the living room in a circle.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"About none of your business."

"Are you going to tell me what you did? You have been acting weird since yesterday morning after you came back from...Ha-eun. What did you do?" Zelo stand up stopping me from walking another round around him.

"I messed up."

"Like how?"

"I just did okay and now I'm not sure how to fix it."

Zelo push me down onto the couch and now he was the one walking around me thinking. He stops in front of me and lean in to my personal space. "You ! You..." He back up pointing at me. "You did the nasty with her didn't you!"

I close my eyes. ! How did he know?

"You ed up big time."

"I know."

"Did you talk to her yet?"

"No"

"Don't tell me you left without making sure she was ok."

"I tried; she just kept telling me to go."

"And you listen to her? You're an idiot. Go back to her and talk YoungGuk."

"I want to but-"

"But what you chicken , don't be such a coward."

I throw my head back on the couch and sigh. "I'm an Zelo...I know I feel guilty but at the same time...I'm not regretting it."

Zelo sat down next to me and sigh laughing. "I knew it. The first time I saw you and Ha-eun I knew it. You been in love with Ye-eun for so long you don't even see that you are no longer in love with her. There's someone else stealing your attention and you can't even acknowledge it."

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I knock on the door again. I know she was in there but she wasn't answering the door. I raise my fist again to knock but the door opens. Ha-eun was standing there in a apron with flour all over her. What has she been doing? A sweet smell came into my nose.

"Smells good in there."

Ha-eun looks behind her. "I'm baking."

She walks away from the door leaving it open for me. I follow her into the kitchen and gasp. There were all kinds of cookies, brownies and a wedding cake? Was she baking for a party?

"Help yourself." She points to the pile of bake sweets.

"Are you expecting guests?" I ask picking up a sugar cookie.

"No"

"Why are you baking?"

She shrugs. "Just feel like it."

I take a seat on one of the stools where the kitchen island is and watch as she stir, read and add ingredients into her bowl.

"Are you okay Ha-eun?"

She tense up "Fine"

"About yesterday."

"Stop" She stops doing whatever she's doing and glare at me. "Just drop it okay, just forget about it. Nothing happened okay. I don't want us to be awkward Guk and I don't want Ye-eun or my parents finding out. Let's just act normal okay."

I look at her, she was shaking. Leaving my cookie I walk over to her and pull her into a hug. "Okay" I whisper as I run my hand down her hair.

Her body stops shaking and she hugs me back.

"I'm sorry" Ha-eun apologizes.

"No I'm sorry."

"It's just I never...and you...I just don't know how I should feel. It's all so confusing. At first I felt guilty but then at the same time I was okay with it but should I feel like that?"

I pull back to look at her innocent face that made my heart burst. "It's okay to feel that way Ha-eun." I wipe her tears. "I know I should feel guilty for taking away your first time while drunk but part of me don't regret it. Maybe I kind of wanted you. Looking at you cry and feel so bad about it makes me hurt in places I never knew was there."

Ha-eun looks at me wide eye.

I smile at her and lean forward tilting my head slightly before I kiss her like she deserve to be kiss and hope that this will replace the missing memory we had yesterday.

Ha-eun pulls away breathless. "What are we doing?"

"Kissing dummy."