Entry 24

Chanyeol was in a bad mood when he entered his music class that day. Kris' words 'she chose me over you' was still ringing inside his head that made him seeth with anger and rejection over again.

Fortunately, he was too early for his class so he had the room all by himself. He sat on his usual seat and buried his face in his palms, gripping his hair in frustration.

What has become of him after their breakup?

He was a mess, that's for sure. He tried concentrating in his studies but he can't. It seems like he lost the will to continue studying after Krystal left him. It was not a surprise to him though, because Krystal was the only reason why he decided to enter SM High.

His real goals before he entered high school were just to see Krystal's smile again and to capture that smile. He was successful in his mission months ago, but he never thought that he would go beyond what he aimed for.

Chanyeol can't deny that he was happy when Krystal confessed to him. The feeling of a returned love overcame all hardships and doubts he had before, and his heart fluttered everyday, every minute, every second whenever he thought of Krystal's love.

But he must have known that everything was too good to be true. And now, he was suffering from the pain. He was losing all the hope.

He heard the door opened and closed again. Chanyeol did not look up until he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He removed his hands from his face and saw Sulli smiling shyly at him.

An awkward tension immediately built between them. Chanyeol looked away from her, remembering that day when he kissed Sulli. He felt that he used her to ease his pain, and that made him feel guiltier. Sulli said the words that he wished Krystal would say, even risking the words 'I love you too' for him. She did him too much favors already.

"You're early." Sulli commented.
"Yeah..."

Silence fell between them. Sulli cleared and sat beside Chanyeol.

"How are you?" she asked.
"I'm fine. You?"
"I'm fine too."

Silence again.

Sulli fidgeted nervously in her seat and cast furtive glances to Chanyeol. She can only see Chanyeol's side view, because he was refusing to look at her.

"Chanyeol-"
"Sulli-"

They both spoke at the same time. They met eyes and stared at each other for several minutes. Unspoken words were said through their gazes until Sulli looked away from Chanyeol and bowed her head.

"I'm sorry" she said.
"No Sulli, I should be the one saying sorry. I knew you felt used, and I want you to know that I don't mean that way." Chanyeol apologized.

Sulli looked at him.

"I did not feel that way." she said.

Chanyeol met eyes with her again. He saw the sincerity in Sulli's words and slowly, he smiled.

"Oh come here, I missed you." he said, pulling Sulli to his chest and hugging her tightly.

Sulli buried her head in his chest and stiffled a sob. She knew her place and was content that way. She was already happy for being Chanyeol's best friend. She doesn't need for Chanyeol to realize her feelings for him.

Sometimes, there were things that were better left unsaid.

* * *

"CONGRATULATIONS VICTORIA!!!" Chanyeol and Sulli greeted jovially at Victoria after their graduation ceremony. Chanyeol gave her a boquet of roses and planted a swift kiss on her cheek.

Victoria flipped her hair and hugged them both.

"Ohh this is nice. You're coming at my party, right?" she asked.

Sulli and Chanyeol nodded.

"Perfect! Oh wait, Nichkhun's calling me over there. See you at our house!" she waved at them and left, running towards her new boyfriend, Nichkhun.
"Vic's really a lucky girl." Sulli said, studying Nichkhun's figure.
"Huh." Chanyeol said. "Come on now Sulli, before you start drooling at Vic's boyfriend."
"Hey I'm not drooling!" Sulli defended.
"Yet." Chanyeol smirked.

They walked away from the crowd of new graduates and their families. They were greeted by a few seniors they knew and congratulated them as they passed.

"Where are we going?" Chanyeol asked Sulli, for she was leading the way.
"I have Central Park in my mind. Let's see the cherry blossoms there!" she said.

Chanyeol nodded and followed Sulli outside SM High. They stopped again when they saw Kris and Krystal with their dads getting inside a luxurious car. Krystal paused in her tracks and looked at Chanyeol straight in the eyes, with an expression he can't understand.

"Let's go." Chanyeol muttered, this time leading the way.

Krystal followed Chanyeol and Sulli's movements until the two of them turned around the corner. *I miss you Chanyeol* she thought.

"Krystal, what are you standing there for?" Mr. Jung barked.

Krystal snapped her mind out of her thoughts and hopped inside the car. Kris, on the other hand, looked at the spot where Chanyeol and Sulli disappeared and frowned. He hold Krystal's hand but she recoiled, hiding her hands under her bag.

"Where do you want to celebrate Kris?" Mr. Wu asked his son.

Kris looked at Krystal's expressionless face. He sighed inwardly and shook his head to his father.

"Anywhere is fine" he answered.

Besides, it would be their last day in Korea.

* * *

Chanyeol and Sulli walked leisurely on the park. A number of cherry trees were aligned on the long and wide pathway of Central Park, something that Chanyeol always sees in Korean dramas such as Endless Love.

Sulli closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh air. Then she opened her eyes again and marveled the hundreds of fallen petals of cherry blossoms that kissed the ground one by one.

"Chanyeol, do you know why cherry blossoms bloom during spring time?" she asked out of the blue.

Chanyeol shook his head. "No, why?"
"Because it symbolizes life." Sulli answered herself. She stopped in her tracks and turned to Chanyeol. giving him a dazzling smile. "Cherry blossoms were the most beautiful flowers that existed, and the most beautiful flowers deserve to bloom at the most beautiful season: spring." she continued.

Chanyeol nodded and looked upwards. He stared at the thousands of cherry blossoms above him and admired its beauty too. It was true though... like Sulli, the cherry blossoms were the most beautiful flowers for him as well. Its radiance reminded him of Krystal's beauty, of her giving him life and hope, of her making him feel loved.

"Everyday, I'm alone and I'm cold. I feel like it's winter even when it's summer. I don't feel hope, I don't feel I'm loved.. . Well, I haven't think about this lately but," she paused and looked at Chanyeol. "but since I came to realize that you never lose your faith on me Yeollie, or that you continue to reach me... I felt like it was spring. You brightened up my life."

"And gave me hope.. and loved me even when I'm pushing you.. so thank you."

"Wait Krystal!"
"Hmm?"
"You haven't said your favorite flower yet."
Krystal smiled at him. "Maybe next time." she said

Chanyeol's lips tugged into a knowing smile. 

"Why are you smiling?" Sulli asked.

Chanyeol looked at her and smiled wider.

"I think I know her favorite flower." he replied.

Sulli frowned but did not elaborate. She studied Chanyeol's face and sighed.

"Chanyeol, I... I need to give you something."

She rummaged something from her pockets and pulled out a silver necklace with a ring wound at the center of it. Chanyeol's eyes bulged in surprise.

"I'm sorry I did not give this to you sooner. I'm just not sure if it's the right time because you were so torn.." she explained nervously.

Chanyeol continued on staring at the necklace with open mouth. After several weeks of search, the thing that he desperately looked for was in front of his eyes now.

Sulli bit her lip as her apprehension grew. Then, Chanyeol walked over to her and picked the necklace. He closed his eyes and a content smile was drawn on his face.

"I'm glad you're the one who found this Sulli. Thank you." he said.

Sulli sighed in relief. She saw how Chanyeol treasured the necklace deeply and knew instantly that she made the right decision. 

"I've been thinking about this lately Chanyeol," Sulli said.
"Hmm?"
"Don't you think you need to have a right closure for you and Krystal?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" he asked confusedly.

Sulli hold his hands and squeezed it.

"A closure that will help two hearts agree from what situation they came at. Because the way I see it Chanyeol, you are not the only one who needs it."

* * *

Chanyeol doesn't know why, but his feet just dragged him in front of Women's Mental Institution after the conversation he had with Sulli. After almost 5 months, he was back in this institution, the place where he believed everything started between him and Krystal.

Why - and again he doesn't have the right answer - did he went straight here if wants closure with Krystal? Surely, he won't be pouring his heart out with Mrs. Jung instead of his daughter? However, his gut told him to go here, and he trusted his gut very rarely.

He was still unsure of his decision and was about to walk away when the front door opened and Nica went outside with two bags of garbage in her hands. She stopped immediately when she saw Chanyeol and dropped the bags, running towards him and hugging him.

"Oh you're back Chanyeol!" she screamed happily. "You did not visit us for a long time, I'm almost angry at you." she said.
"I'm sorry Ms. Nica," Chanyeol said embarrassedly.
Nica waved a hand at him and smiled. "No worries, it's fine with us. But we really missed you, even the patients do."
"Really?"
"Yes. Besides, I'm pretty sure that you're busier now right?"
"Uhhh.."
"Yes, yes. We understand it perfectly. Come on in, what do you want to drink, coffee? Hot chocolate?" she said, leading the way inside WMI.
"Actually, I just need to -"
"How's Mrs. Jung's papers doing by the way?" Nica asked, ushering Chanyeol on the couch.
"Papers? What?" Chanyeol asked.

Nica stopped rummaging the cabinets and turned to look at Chanyeol.

"Mrs. Jung's papers Chanyeol. You're moving her in Canada, right?"

Chanyeol's jaw dropped. He tried absorbing what he just heard but it seemed like everything was a joke to him.

"C-Canada? Can you please repeat Ms. Nica?"

Nica folded her arms impatiently at Chanyeol.

"Krystal visited here last week, asking for Mrs. Jung's dismissal papers. She said that her mother will be moved in Canada sooner for treatment. I'm really glad she had the courage to do that now, and I thank you for influencing her -"
"I didn't." Chanyeol blurted. "I didn't influence her. I... I didn't know..."

Nica unfolded her arms slowly and stared open-mouthed at Chanyeol.

"Then does it mean that you don't know her going out of the country too?"
"What?"

And as fast as lightning Chanyeol shot from his seat. Nica jumped back in surprise and gaped at Chanyeol, who's obviously thinking hard now.

"I'm sorry Ms. Nica, but let's have hot chocolate next time." he said and ran outside WMI.

*What does Ms. Nica meant by that Krystal?!* he asked himself. His thoughts were buffering from the disarrayed information he had right now, and he badly wanted to see Krystal at that very moment.

The ride was long before Chanyeol reached Krystal's manor. He clicked the doorbell repeatedly and grew more furious when no one answered his call.

"Krystal! Krystal are you there?!" he shouted.

Still no answer.

"KRYSTAL!" he shouted again. He thanked his deep voice for producing a booming sound, and he was sure that someone would approach him soon.

And just like what he thought, Tom went outside the manor with a gloomy face. He bowed at Chanyeol and said,

"The Jungs are not here Sir Chanyeol." Tom said.
"Don't lie Tom, please." Chanyeol pleaded.

Tom shook his head morosely and continued,

"I am not lying sir. The Jungs will not be staying here for a long time."

Chanyeol bit his lip. What Tom said just confirmed Nica's statement.

"Then does it mean that Krystal's really leaving this country? With Mrs. Jung?' he asked.

Tom nodded sadly.

"Where are they now Tom? Where?" he asked urgently.
"I don't know sir."
"Please Tom -!"
"I really don't." Tom cut in. "The Jungs left since yesterday, and they did not tell where they were staying in."
"Any suggestions then?"
"You can check World's Hotel's branches, or it's main building, or the rest houses that the Jungs had all over the country." Tom replied.

Chanyeol was not sure if Tom was having a sarcastic remark or really stating a suggestion, but either way, he sighed defeatedly and walked away with a lost spirit.

*Where are you Krystal? Where?* 

Chanyeol walked aimlessly around Krystal's land property and its subdivison. Then he went to SM High for no reason at all, but the school was already closed. He idled numbly until his feet reached their house voluntarily. He was not aware that he was in front of his house not until he saw the familiar garden path.

"Oh Yeol, you're finally home. What do you want for dinner?" Mrs. Park asked but Chanyeol did not respond.

Chanyeol went straight to his room and locked the door. He pulled out his diary, picked his pen and started writing.

It was already dark when he was finished and was startled to hear a soft knock in his door.

"Yeol, Krystal's here." Mrs. Park's bitter voice informed.

Chanyeol jumped from his seat and rocketed towards his door. He rushed downstairs and opened their front door. True enough, Krystal was standing in front of him. She was still beautiful the way Chanyeol remembered her, and she was looking at him with eyes that desired nothing but affection.

"Krystal..." he whispered. He walked towards her but stopped soon, when he noticed a black car at the far end of the road. He couldn't see who was inside the car but he had an idea, and so he dragged her inside his house instead.
"Chanyeol..." Krystal said, obviously surprised from Chanyeol's sudden action.
"Let's talk in my room."

He dragged Krystal upstairs and locked the door for the second time. He faced Krystal with questioning eyes and did not hesitate to ask the things he wanted to know since that afternoon.

"Tell me Krystal, are you really leaving?" Chanyeol asked.

Krystal looked surprised but nodded. "Yes." she answered.
"With Aunt Beautiful?"
"Yes." Krystal said again.
"With your father?"
"Yes."
"With Kris?"

".....Yes."

They stared at each other with pained expressions. Chanyeol was starting to understand everything now, but he needed clarifications.

"Krystal... did you choose Kris over me, or did you choose Aunt Beautiful over me?"

Krystal smiled sadly.

"It doesn't matter Chanyeol."
"It is!" Chanyeol shouted angrily. Krystal looked at him with startled expression. "It's important to me Krystal, so please, answer me." he begged.

Krystal's eyes brimmed with tears.

"I chose my mother over you Chanyeol, and I will choose her at all times." she replied. "I know you hate me right now, and I'm -"

But she was not able to complete her sentence. Chanyeol enclosed Kystal with the warmest hug he can give. He knew that it would be the last time for him to do so, and he hugged her tighter like his life depended on it. He pulled away briefly and leaned his forehead to hers.

"Ssssh Krystal. Sssshhh..."

Krystal sobbed in his chest. "Just hate me Chanyeol. Everything's easier that way."
"I can't." he said. "I can never hate you. I understand you now Krystal." he removed his hug and kissed her cheeks. "I really do."

He wiped Krystal's tears and smiled.

"I wish the best for Aunt Beautiful. Tell her I say 'hi' when she was cured." he said, trying to look perfectly fine.

Krystal nodded.

"I have another question Krystal..."
"What is it?"
"Was it all real?" he asked. "Did you really love me?"
"Chanyeol, I'm getting married."
"I know." Chanyeol closed his eyes as he felt the familiar pang of pain in his heart. "But I just want to know if you really loved me Krystal."

Krystal tiptoed and pulled Chanyeol closer to her. She leaned over him and whispered in his ears with a hush that Chanyeol will remember forever...

"Always"

* * *

The chauffer opened the car door for Krystal after an hour. She entered the car, clutching a notebook with a crystal drawn on its cover and a necklace with a ring at its center.

Kris glanced swiftly at the things Krystal were holding. He cleared his throat and said,

"Did you have the closure you're asking for?" he asked.
"Yes." Krystal said. She hesitated and looked at Kris. "Thank you."

Kris gave a half-hearted smile at her. He cast another glance at the necklace, which was very familiar to him.

From that day on, Kris was sure that he can have all the fame and riches he wanted, but never this girl's heart.

Dear Krystal:

Sulli said that the cherry blossoms bloom during spring time because the most beautiful flowers deserve the most beautiful season. You said to me that I was like a spring to you, who made you feel loved and gave you hope. You were like that to me too, my love. After I talked to Nica earlier, I realized that you must have left me for a reason. I know that your marriage with Kris will never change, and even it hurts, I accept that fate. I wish that Kris would be a good man to you, and that you will have a family better than what you have.

I have lots of plans for us. We will move Aunt Beautiful in the best institution with the money we both earned; We will have a wedding under the cherry blossoms on spring time; I will bring you to Eiffel Tower on our honeymoon; I will cook your breakfast everyday; You will massage my back every night; I will enclose you in my arms before we go to sleep; and love you until we lost our breaths.

I told you that I can't see myself loving another woman besides you. It was true. I don't know if I can ever love again, the way I did for you. I don't know if I will ever feel loved the way you made me feel, or if after 10 years, I will find a girl better than you.

What do you think Krystal? Will I ever find that girl after 10 years? Will we be happy after 10 years?

>The End<
 

I'm seriously nervous with your reactions right now. Huhu. I just want to be realistic here; that family comes first before love. (just like what @pseudomonas commented before)

Thank you for your patience in this fic though. I really, really appreciate every click you did for subscribing, reading, commenting and voting, although I'm not really expecting any votes. Hehe. THANK YOU!

Just comment your thoughts below. *cross fingers* :)