Entry 22

"So, see you on our music class?" Sulli said shyly.

Chanyeol nodded and gave her a swift smile. "Okay." he waved untl he turned around the corner, ready to face Sir Duck Face after 2 weeks.

There were whispers around him as he walked. Chanyeol can point the difference between their nasty whispers before to the whispers he's getting right now.

It was soft, gigglish and girly. He cast a wary eye sideways and caught eyes with some of the girls. They batted their eyelashes, waved and smiled at him - an attention he never gets in his whole life. Chanyeol shifted uncomfortably and walked faster, desperate to reach the safety of his algebra class.

In his rush he did not mind where he was going, so he bumped hard on someone who was taller than him: Kris.

"Whoah! D-dude?" Kris took a step back and stared at Chanyeol more closely. He started with his hair first, then to his eyes, his clothes, down to his shoes. Chanyeol looked the exact opposite from the man he first met, with red-orange hair and everything in him that goes the wrong way. Was this the man he bullied last year? "Is that you?"

"Y-yeah. Hi Pierced - I mean, Kris." he answered shyly.

Kris stared back at him and immediately felt uncomfortable. Did Chanyeol already know? Then if yes, why was he talking to him like he was cool with his engagement with Krystal?

"I haven't seen you around here lately." he said.
"I've been away for two weeks." Chanyeol replied.
"Ohh." Kris said. He wanted to ask why, but he guessed the answer instead. "Krystal?"
"Yeah." he replied, his face blank.

The awkward atmosphere grew heavier. "You're cool with that then?" he asked, pertaining with his engagement.

Chanyeol frowned. How can he be cool with his breakup?

"No." he answered innocently.

Kris wiped his tense sweats. "Then, why are you talking to me?" he asked.
"Why won't I talk to you??" Chanyeol's brow furrowed deeper. He was really confused now.
"Because I'm Krystal's fiance. I'm really surprised that you're talking to me like it's ok with you, but thanks man..."

But Chanyeol did not listen anymore. His ears were barred the moment he heard the words "Krystal's fiance". Soon-to-be wed then? With this man?

He looked at Kris who was still blabbering words which he's not listening to. Then slowly, he curled his fists, digging his nails deep into his palms.

"You're Krystal's fiance?" he repeated through gritted teeth.

Kris stopped talking and looked confusedly at Chanyeol. He studied Chanyeol's searching eyes and slowly, two things dawned on him;

1) Chanyeol doesn't know about their engagement
2) The person who broke the news to him has to be him, the fiance. The reason why Chanyeol and Krystal broke up. *Oh the irony*

"I asked you if you're Krystal's fiance!" Chanyeol shouted. His low voice boomed defeaningly around the hall. Bystanders stopped talking and looked at the scene in front of them with growing interest. Oh how they love gossips.

"Yes." Kris answered, his nose in the air. "Yes I am."

Without warning Chanyeol's fist met Kris's face, and he staggered backwards, completely off guard. The punch was light, obvious that Chanyeol was not a punching man, but it still hurts. He rubbed his face, accepting what Chanyeol did. He knew that he deserved it, but it doesn't mean he's letting go too.

"I told you once that if I were given a chance to have her, I will grab that opportunity. I did Chanyeol. I'm just true to my words."
"And I though you're my friend." Chanyeol retorted. His heart was dropping little by little. He wanted to cry, but he refused doing it in front of everyone. Right now, he has to finish his business with Kris. "Friends don't screw their friend's girlfriend."

There was a loud tinkle of the bell and everyone rushed towards their first class. Chanyeol glared at Kris and roughly pushed him away, not wanting to see his face nor Krystal's again.

He walked towards his algebra class just in time. Sir Duck Face cocked his eyebrow at him.

"Well it's about time you show yourself Mr. Park." he said.

Chanyeol bowed apologetically.

"I'm sorry Sir D-. Um.. Sir." he said. He doesn't know his teacher's real name until now.

His teacher scrutinized him for a long time. Chanyeol knew that any minute now he's about to get kicked out of the classroom again, but to his surprise, Sir Duck Face nodded with understanding, as if he knew what Chanyeol was going through right now.

"Take your seat." he said, pointing at the empty seat next to Krystal's.

Krystal and Chanyeol met eyes, and he tensed immediately. He remembered Kris's words that were still ringing inside his head and curled his fists in anger again. Krystal did not miss that action.

*You knew now, don't you? Being angry with me is not enough Chanyeol.*

Reluctantly, he took his seat, but for three hours he refused to look at her, to stare at her direction and to speak to her. After three torturing hours, the bell finally rang, and it was Chanyeol who first left his seat.

"Chan..." Krystal said but hesitated. His tall, cold figure was slowly drifting away from her. She felt like it was hard to reach Chanyeol now, and she hated it.

Chanyeol did not go to his next class. Instead, he went straight towards the parking lot - to the spot where Krystal ended everything with him.

"I need to find that necklace." he muttered to himself. "I need to find it.... I need to find it. It's Krystal's." he said repeatedly.

Then, as her face grew vividly in his mind, Chanyeol's eyesight went blurry, his heart aching, his knees weak. He was so torn between screaming and crying, and he did not know which one to do first. He hated being weak; He hated being a person who gave everything to the woman he dedicated half his youth for; He hated that he's angry with Kris and Krystal; He hated himself for believing her lies; and worst, he hated that he can't find the necklace, the symbol of Krystal's imaginary love for him.

Teardrops dripped one at a time as he crouched behind the bushes and trees in search for the necklace. He needed to find it soon, because it's the only reminder that even though everything was a lie, Krystal loved him.

There was a distant ring of bell from afar but he did not care. Chanyeol continued his search,until someone grabbed his arms and turned him around.

"Chanyeol?" Sulli's soft, melodic voice said. She softened when she saw Chanyeol crying, and her heart dropped  to see his tears flowing in his eyes. "Don't cry." she said softly. She cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears with her thumb. 
"Sulli." Chanyeol took steps forwards and hugged Sulli tightly. "Sulli I can't bear the pain. I can't. I can't." he said, continuously shaking his head.
"Ssshhh. It's okay. I'm here." she said, patting his head. "Sulli's here, don't cry Chanyeol."

Chanyeol's hug tightened. Sulli closed her eyes, feeling his embrace.

"Krystal's engaged with Kris." Chanyeol continued. He buried his head on Sulli's neck and cried harder. "She left me for Kris."

Sulli bit her lip. She already knew. She doesn't know what to say to him, so instead she hugged him tighter.

"Chanyeol, look at me." she said. She removed her embrace and leaned backwards so Chanyeol can see her face.

Slowly, Chanyeol looked straight on her, tears still flowing in his cheeks.

"Imagine that I'm Krystal." she whispered. "Imagine that the woman you're facing right now is Krystal. Tell me what you wanted to tell her. Release your pains. Release everything." Sulli said.

Chanyeol gazed deeply in her eyes. She pictured Sulli's lips as Krystal's lips, her nose as Krystal's nose, her eyes as Krystal's eyes, her hair as Krystal's hair. And now he was looking directly at Krystal.

He smiled bitterly.

"Why Krystal?" he asked. "Why do you have to leave me for Kris? Am I not enough for you? My heart... I gave it whole. My pockets are empty, our house is small, but my love.... it will always stretch farther than you can imagine Krystal. Just for you."

Sulli's lips quivered. Chanyeol did really imagined her as Krystal.

*Chanyeol, it hurts that I have to be someone else to feel your love. All this time, I'm just here for you. Can't you see? Always. I'm always here. I'm ready to give my whole heart just for you too. Can't you feel? I always love you. And my love can stretch farther than you can imagine too. Can't you hear? My heart beats loudly whenever you're near. But why... why do I have to love secretly, and cry secretly?*

"I want to beg you to not marry Kris." Chanyeol said. He touched Sulli's face softly and leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes at the same time. "Please don't marry him Krystal. Stay with me."
"I'll stay with you Chanyeol." Sulli answered. "I'm here. I'll always love you." she said, softly touching his cheeks too.
"I love you Krystal." he whispered.

Sulli's heart dropped sadly. She closed his eyes and tears fell down her face too. Just for once... let her feel Chanyeol's love just for once.

"I love you too Chanyeol. I love you."

And with that Chanyeol leaned down, planting his lips in Sulli's lips, imagining that it was Krystal's that he was kissing; and Sulli kissing him back, imagining that she was in Krystal's place, where she can receive Chanyeol's love that she knew would never be hers.