Entry 21

Dear Krystal:

Love is a bittersweet deal. I've learned that I can't always have the sweet part of love. One way or another, sooner or later, I'll experience the bitterness, the rejection, the pain.

My friends Sulli and Victoria are helping me to forget you. Just the other day, they cleaned my room and hid all of my belongings that has a connection with you: my calendar, my camera, your pictures... almost everything. But they missed two things: this diary, and my necklace.

I want to forget the pain, but to do that I need to forget you too. But I can't let go of these things. I just can't. Very contradicting, isn't? Ah, can't you see how much you made me go crazy?

Chanyeol.
 

Chanyeol picked the necklace and enclosed it in his palms.

"Krystal, do you love me?"
"Yes, Yes Yeollie I do."

He closed his eyes too.

*I can still remember her soft lips, even her cute blushes whenever I'm with her. Her smile that she only reserves for me and Aunt Beautiful... her laughter...*

"You brightened up my life and gave me hope, and loved me even when I'm pushing you... so thank you"

*Was it even sincere?*

"It's not you, it's me. I don't love you"

*I thought those words are only on movies.* His heart twisted more painfully at the memory. 

"Promise me that we'll wear this necklace as long as we love each other"
"Promise".

*If promises are really meant to be broken, then we shouldn't have promised at all.*

There was a light knock at his door and he snapped out of his reveries. He stood up from his desk chair and went over the door.

Sulli was smiling at him.

"Hey, ready for your first day back on school?" she asked.
"Wait a sec" he strode over his bed and swung it on his shoulders. Then he hung the necklace on his neck.
"Where did you get that?" Sulli asked sharply, frowning at his necklace.

He quickly hid it under his shirt.

"Uhh.. it's, uh... my Mom's." he said as casually as he could. It was true though, it was his mom's.
"Huh." she peered suspiciously at him. "No Krystal memories? Just a necklace?"
"Just a necklace." he affirmly lied.

They went outside the house and entered Sulli's car. She started the engine and slowly backed her car until it met the driveway. She glanced at Chanyeol's neck again and pursed her lips. 

"I haven't seen you wearing that lately though" she said.
"I'm wearing this everyday, since..." he hesitated, remembering that night he made his promise with Krystal. "since New Year's eve. We weren't hanging out much back then so maybe that's why you haven't noticed until now." he continued.
"Ohh."

They quickly reached SM High and parked at the farthest corner of the lot, just near to the place where Chanyeol and Krystal broke up. He glanced at the spot and remembered something - Krystal threw her necklace on the ground last time... was it still there?

He went outside the car and started to make his way towards that spot, but Sulli caught his arm. 

"Where are you going? The front door's here. Come on" she said, nodding her head the other way and pulling Chanyeol with her.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Sulli stopped in her tracks and turned around. She has been hesitating to say this to him for a while, but he'll find out as soon as he step foot on SM High anyways. "Promise me that whatever you will find out inside, you will always keep calm." she said seriously.
"Why?" he asked, confused.
"Just promise me."

"I'll... I'll try..." and with that, he reluctantly followed her inside SM High, glancing at the parking lot at the same time.
 

* * *

Krystal pursed her lips as Kris walked her to her locker. She glared at him.

"I can perfectly go to my locker without your assistance. Thank you very much." she said coldly.

Kris winced slightly but he remained calm and composed. He even cocked his eyebrow at her. "I just don't want my fiance walking alone." he said.

Krystal glanced around them. Bystanders and gossipers were looking at them curiously, and she doubted if there's a single person in SM High that doesn't know about her engagement with SM High director's son, Kris.

"And you promised me too that you won't tell anyone about the arrangement." she hissed.
"I didn't." he answered honestly. "It's my father. You did not make him promise, right?"

Krystal gritted her teeth and turned her back from him.

"Get out. I don't want to see your face."

Kris's heart dropped but he managed to smile at her.

"Ok, I'll pick you up on your next class then." he brushed her hair with his hand and she slapped it away immediately. Krystal gave him a death glare.
"Get. Out."

Without commenting anything, Kris walked away, downhearted.

What happened to him? He's not like this. He never listened to women before. In fact, it was them who listened to him. He even changed the way he looked, stopped womanizing, and did more things that he never imagined he would do. Just for Krystal.

Yet her heart was still not his.

* * *

Krystal opened her locker and get her needed books for her next class. She heard soft ticks of pointed heels closing behind her. She looked down and saw a new pair of Jimmy Choo heels she was sure was just out last week. Krystal smirked and snapped the locker door shut, facing Luna who also wore the same expression like hers.

"Congratulations, you finally managed to buy yourself new shoes. I thought you'll stick with the old one for the rest of the year." she said coolly.

Luna raised her eyebrow and her smirk grew wider. "Congratulations with your engagement too. Who's next?" she asked.

Krystal hated it when people talked about her engagement, and with Luna saying it, she felt the huge urge to slap her pug face on the spot. But she threw Luna another poker face and leaned on her locker.

"What do you mean 'who's next'?" she said coolly
"I mean..." Luna flipped her hair and grinned maliciously. "who's your next boy on the list? You had Kai, then that good-for-nothing-carrot-head, and now Kris." she said, counting it in her fingers. "All in 8 months. I'm right all along am I? You're a , and you're so itchy that you can't hold yourself back without having boys with you."

Krystal's eyes darkened. "You don't know me." she snarled. "You don't know anything, so shut your fat mouth."
"Really? But I don't think I care what you're going through my sweet." she leered at her and changed the subject. "So, Who's next Krystal?"
"Hypocrite." she spat. "Stop talking like you're not a . You know you're one too and you're worse."
"Maybe." Luna said softly. "Or maybe not. We can be both worse Krystal, the only thing is, I'm not in denial, unlike you."

Silence fell between them as they stared with each other with eyes full of hate.

"Anyways, you know what, I can understand why you ditched that Chanyeol for Kris. I mean, baggy shirts, ragged jeans, old shoes, messy hair, and big eyeglasses? Not our type isn't he?" Luna continued, breaking the silence.
"Shut -"

But Krystal stopped in mid-sentence. She stared aghastly above Luna's head, hanging wide open. Luna turned around too and her eyes brightened instantly. Every head on SM High looked the same way, with girls gasping dreamily and loudly.

Chanyeol entered SM High with a whole new aura in place. He walked with confidence, his nose up in the air that made him both intimidating and at the same time, cool. He was not wearing eyeglasses anymore, revealing his adorable eyes. His black hair was cut in a stylish way that made him look like a bad boy. He was wearing a V-neck shirt that emphasized his lean shoulders and chest, and a tight jeans and new shoes that complements everything.

"OH. MY. FCK." Luna cussed loudly. Her jaw dropped larger than Krystal's, and her eyes raked his body with lust. "That's... that's.... Is it?" she asked herself stupidly.
"Chanyeol." Krystal completed. 

Chanyeol, together with Sulli were walking nearer towards them. Luna quickly ran her fingers through her hair and immediately checked her red lips, putting some more lipstick in it before turning to face Chanyeol again. She waved seductively at him and Krystal wanted to bang her head on the locker but fought against it.

Krystal stared shyly at Chanyeol, her heart skipping a thousand times faster than usual, waiting for him to look at her. He was so much more good-looking now, and she can feel that she's more attracted to him than before. When Chanyeol turned his eyes sideways to look at Krystal, her heart stopped...

He walked pass them, without sparing a second glance at her and not even once at Luna. His eyes expressionless, his face dead.

"Well that was rude! He did not even look at me!" Luna said sarcastically, stomping her feet. Then she turned to look at Krystal and smirked at her. "I guess we're both regretting huh? Your ex - boyfriend's a total hottie. I definitely want him." and with that she walked away, leaving Krystal alone.

When Luna was gone, Krystal exhaled painfully, her eyes starting to water.

She had expected him to wave at her like what he used to, or smile, or say his usual greeting like "Good Morning Krystal!"

She forgot that everything changed between them. She had hurt him, and he's moving on. She can't get used to that feeling though. Without Chanyeol, her life returned to being  dark and cold again. She missed him. So bad.

Krystal bit her lower lip and ran away, desperately needing more space for herself.