“How is the scan result?” A concerned man tapping his feet as he sits on the hospital waiting bench sees the radiographer talking to Junsu’s consultant and askes, eager to know the results. “He was convulsing for longer than usual last night… is there anything wrong?”

“Detective.” “He might be in more danger than we thought.” “The bullet is shifting as the swelling subsides so I am afraid that his life might be endangered if the bullet ever reaches the brain stem…” The doctor says in a quiet manner and Yoochun is stunned.

“He is dying?” Yoochun does not even know if that was a question. “Is there anything you can do?”

“He will need an operation but he might still die in the process.” The doctor replied and continued. “The risk and harm outweighs the benefits at this point in time so I am feeling hesitant.” “I believe we can press on until the injury poses a immediate threat.”

Nodding his head solemnly, Yoochun shook the doctor’s hand and tried his best to smile naturally. Telling himself that Junsu is just one of the victims of the syndicate and that he is feeling sad because of that particular reason, Yoochun returned to his seat.

“Yoochunnie!!” Popping out of nowhere, a pair of bewitching brown eyes stared right into his own black ones causing Yoochun to flinch. Peeling his eyes off the dainty nose almost poking his own, the troubled detective can’t help but notice how unhealthily pale Junsu looked, even though the boy is glowing delightedly.

The knowledge that Junsu is grievously ill upsets him and the doctor’s words were nothing near comforting, since they are facts. Seeing Junsu bouncing around, like there is nothing worth his fretting over, Yoochun does not know whether he should tell Junsu. He briefly decides not to.

“Let’s go.” Holding Junsu’s thin wrist as though he is some fragile item that might disappear, Yoochun led the unsteady boy along. The convulsion the previous night was so bad that Junsu couldn’t even wake after that, breathing was almost non-existent. Yoochun was terrified but the boy insisted he was fine the moment he wakes, refusing to go back to the hospital.

Junsu is in truth, unwilling to trouble Yoochun, knowing that the older man’s precious sleep was interrupted by him. However, the detective was adamant on getting him a check-up the following day, asking for a day of leave to do so. Junsu couldn’t stop him.

“RING! RING! RING!” Seeing Junsu trip over his own feet twice, Yoochun is tempted to just take a longer leave and tend to the boy, yet, duty calls.

“Hello? Park Yoochun speaking…” Answering gingerly even though he is in the middle of cooking lunch for both himself and the boy, on his off day, the detective knows he still have to take responsibility for his position as head of department. “Can’t you try to…” Bargaining steps in but his phone is taken from him before he can complete his sentence.

“I will be on my way there.” The small pair of palms that stole his phone from right beside his ears is now hogging his conversation. Pinching his pretty little nose as he projects an unnatural deep voice, Junsu impersonated Yoochun and hung up after biding the caller goodbye as well.

“HEY!” Yoochun is dumbfounded for a split second, but only a split second. “I wasn’t planning on going back! Why did you say that?!”

“They need you.” Biting his lips, Junsu looked away sheepishly and starts to wander back to his place in the living room, tucking himself into his newly reclaimed territory on the couch. Yoochun couldn’t convince him to sleep on the bed no matter what, since Junsu is insistent on the detective having the bed back instead.

“I have to finish cooking lunch though.” Yoochun gave up trying to reason with Junsu since the boy is already ignoring him. Baffled by his own unusually pushy behaviour, the older man comforted himself by thinking he has a big kid to take care of.

“Hey… will a plate be enough?” Turning off the heat, the detective cooed as he brings the frying pan into the living room, filling the enter place with the smell of fried rice. Junsu does not reply, lying still like how sleeping beauty would, curl up under the blanket.

Putting aside the food, he reaches down to the sleeping boy’s head but got no response. A quiet irresponsive Junsu disconcerts him and for a moment, Yoochun felt really lost and almost a little lonely. “Hey…” Patting the boy on the head, he gets a faint stir and heaves a sigh of relief to realise Junsu is not exactly ignoring him but snoozing.

Reluctant to wake the boy, the detective wrote a note and pasted it on the kitchen counter before covering a plate with a piece of cloth. Having no appetite to eat his share, Yoochun chucks it into the fridge and left without looking back at the lump on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What’s wrong with me? I feel so out of it… and I am having a hard time being myself.

When faced with stressors, I will just smoke and drink them away… but I don’t even do those anymore. I still smoke but I am having less time to do that nowadays. Somehow or rather, I started to forget the need to smoke as soon as I leave the office.

I am stressed. Very stressed in fact. Work is nothing compared to being a carer… which was why I didn’t get a pet to keep me company at the first place. I simply don’t have the time to love and care for them. Yet, this carer stress feels different.

I don’t know how to describe my feelings, but they are really messed up right now.

Maybe it’s because a victim was just found dead and I have to rush back? Maybe it’s because I still have a pile of cases to clear and I am still stuck at home? I don’t know anymore. However, I am quite aware about what is really upsetting me.

He is dying and I am supposed to watch. Operate now and he probably wouldn’t make it at all. Leave that damn bullet to swim around until there is no more choice but to remove it and if he dies, at least he was given those extra days to live.

Technically speaking, that is the theory… and I accept that. But why does my heart hurt so much that my senses go numb upon hearing that theory from the doctor? HE is just one of the poor victims I am in charge of! HE is just someone I will take care of in the meantime. Nothing more!

He dies, I write the report and we all move on. He dies and it might even be better for me since he can’t help with the investigation either. He dies and I can charge those bloody bastards with one more account of murder when I tear down their little rat-hole! Especially the one wearing Tom and Jerry!

Pull yourself together Park Yoochun! He might be pitiful, but he is none of your concern asides from the feeding and protection aspect. You feed him, protect him and wish that he remembers something that might help you. That’s all there is.

Right! That is all there is to it.

Talking about how much he sounds like a pet right now, I think I will get him a puppy to play with when I am out. I don’t think he will have much to do since TV’s in English.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the evening…

“I’m home! Everland?” Pacing through the narrow walkway at the shoe closet leading to the bedroom, with a PVC box in his hand, a tall man dressed in dark colours searches the living room for the tenant. Resting the small holder and opening the cage like wire mesh at the side, he releases a small furry bundle of joy, allowing that creature to roam and familiarise itself with the surrounding scent.

“Everland?” Lifting up the sheets on the make shift bed, the man frowns when there is nothing underneath to greet him.

Hastening his footsteps subsequently as he enters his bedroom and eventually the study, there is no signs of an inhabitant. “Everland! Where are you!?” Swinging open doors and cupboards, he finds nothing.

“Ding dong ding dong ding dong!” He was about to blow his top when the doorbell rang. Convinced that the kidnappers have somehow managed to find him and have taken the boy, the detective quickly switches off the lights and draws his gun.

Crab walking with his back against the wall, he waits by the door, still awfully convinced that the kidnappers are testing to see if he is home. “Click.” The door opens as two shadows looms suspiciously at the main door.

“I don’t think he is in…” “Can you manage?” A woman’s voice made Yoochun stop in his tracks, just as he was about to leap out from somewhere and shoot them all in the face.

“Yes! Thank you!” A sweet mellifluous voice followed and the detective immediately recognises it.

“He is lucky to have a sweet brother like you.” The woman replied before her footsteps disappears, apparently headed down from the staircase nearby.

Then, trudging into the house and dragging something behind him, Junsu’s pretty hand reaches past Yoochun’s face in the dark and swept blindly for the switch. This prompted the detective to keep his weapon. “Why did you leave the house?” His voice boomed and Junsu screamed.

Flicking the switch for the startled Junsu, Yoochun emerges from behind the door and towered over him. Staring into the displeased detective’s face, the boy backs away slowly, hiding the huge bulk of objects wrapped in plastic.

Reaching down to grab them from Junsu, Yoochun is a little taken aback upon realising that those are the pile of dirty clothes he had casually swept and hidden under the bed. He even attached an air freshener in the bed room so no one needs to smell anything close to soiled but unwashed linens, rotting away for weeks till they don’t even smell anymore.

Junsu had fallen face flat again after Yoochun left for work and ended up spotting a fishy looking mess under the bed from where he lay. Dragging them out, he tried to wash them but there were nothing but water available. It was only when the lady from next door came over to borrow a can of baked beans did she ended up helping Junsu carry the dirty clothes to the laundrette. She thought Junsu is Yoochun’s younger brother who had recently arrived from Korea to visit.

“How did you bring this there all by yourself?” Yoochun asked, eyes widening threateningly like how he would when interrogating his suspects.

“The ahjumma wanted beans.” “Then she offered to help me.” Junsu answered sheepishly, hugging to the smaller pack of clothes adorably. Yoochun immediately softens down. Then, with a hundred and eighty degree change in attitude, he even helps the boy carry the laundry back in.

“Arrrfff!” A smile nip on Junsu’s ankle followed by a wet sticky smear all over the dorsum of his feet caused the boy to look down while he was busy figuring out how to fold the flimsy sweaters. Beaming radiantly as Junsu plays with that tiny thing like it is his baby or something, Yoochun watches him from the kitchen entrance.

“Yoochunnie!! Did we close the door? Something sneaked in!” Junsu giggled, making his way over to the detective.

“He didn’t sneak in.” “I invited him home to accompany you while I am away.” Yoochun smiled a charming smile. the dog’s ears, the older man returned to the kitchen to make them something to eat, chopping the carrots. Focused on shredding the vegetables, Yoochun can’t block out the word ‘brother’ ringing at the back of his head.

“What should we call him?” Junsu leaves the dog in the living room before proceeding to help the older man set up the tables.

“Why don’t you name him then?” Brushing past Junsu as he scoops up the steaming hot rice from the taller pot, the detective pinched a few fluffy grains and tasted them before serving them on two matching porcelain bowls. Noticing a puzzle like picture on the bowls, the man fits them together out of curiosity and they formed a cartoon of a kissing couple, bending over adorably.

Gasping, he remembers how the salesgirl was complementing his taste and how his ‘girlfriend’ would love the bowls, which he had honestly no idea was a couple bowl. There is no warm and fuzzy feeling anymore as he watches Junsu arrange the fork and spoons meticulously, side by side.