Dujun’s pov

I stir in my sleep and wake up from my fast slumber. I lift my face and Yoseob is still sleeping and lying on the bed. My eyes are so damn heavy and swollen so that I decided to take 10-20 minutes more. Holding and grabbing Yoseob’s free hand: which took me long enough of doing that, I pull it to my face and slowly doze off.

The cold breeze hits my exposed skins and became a normal human being I am; I wake up from my sleep and hug myself tight, trying to store my own heat. My head is still spinning, my sight is blur, my eyes are swollen and sore and only for seconds, I forget what and where I was.

Scrutinizing the place, I get to my sense, the fact is, I am sleeping in a room, which is more to a ward in a hospital. I look around and my sight captures the snowflakes at the outside of the ward. So, the winter is approaching..

I rub my face and my heart thumps fast when I can’t see any trace of my wife. Yoseob isn’t on the bed and around my sight. Rushing, I search for him and there’s only a place where I think I can find him-the bathroom.

“Baby?” I twist the doorknob and step into the cold bathroom.

I search for him, every spots, every place around the bathroom and I found him sitting beside the toilet bowl while sobbing hard.

I inhale deeply and slowly approaching him.

“Baby..c-can we get out? You are unwell.. please?” I squat, no. I kneel in front of him with my two knees and with my quivery hands, I pull him into my embrace, trying to warm him up. I feel hard to breathe when Yoseob continues on crying.

“Baby..” I shake him several times but Yoseob doesn’t stir at all. He looks paler than before. He also doesn’t talk or respond to me, which is very clear: he hates me as I killed his baby. I know the fact and although I want to change the fact or reverse the time, those are only a hope..Just a plain hope.

“Seobie..here..let me..” I was ready to carry him but Yoseob shook his head no and hissed when he moved out of sudden. He clutches his abdomen and swallows hard.

“Did you hurt? Seob? Are you okay?”

Yoseob only shakes his head no and pries my hands. He slowly stands up, hands clutching tight on his tummy and my eyes widen when I saw the sullied white floor.

“B-baby..dont move..God, hold on. I will call Dad,” I ask him to stay first and immediately run to the bed board, push, abuse the button and rush to him back in the bathroom. I hold him as a support while my eyes keep on staring the bloody hospital pants and floor.

I grip Yoseob’s shoulder and accompany him until the nurses and doctors came into the room.

_____________________

Yoseob is in the operation room and once again, I wait at the outside of the room accompanied by Gayoon. For some reasons, I cry in her warm and balmy embrace. I don’t know to who can I rely on and cry now.

“He will be safe. I know and I can feel it,”

I only hum.

“Does his parents know about this? mom? Woonie? Other friends?”

I shake my head no.

“If you want me to keep this..”

“Yes, please..” I said and cried more. I don’t want anyone else knows about this. I don’t want Umma feels this is her fault and the news that Yoseob needs to undergone a surgery to remove the accumulation blood in his abdomen and also..the foreign organ in him : the new womb.

I make a fist.

This is all my fault. MY FAULT! How ..how could I ruin his life?! If I wasn’t fall or love him at the first place..and if I don’t love him this much..Yoseob might be happier than this.

I ruin him. I destroy his happiness.

And to make worst, I ruined everyone’s life. I ruin..i killed my own baby.

                                                                              *********************

I bring the foods into our room and put them on the small table beside the bed. I smile and caress Yoseob’s smooth cheek, making him open his eyes. I curve my lips.

“Let’s eat,” I say and hand him a glass of plain water. Yoseob takes it slowly and once he’s done, I take it back. I his hair gently and give him the pill that needs to be taken before the meal. Yoseob eats it without any whimper or complaining.

“ Have you taken your bathe? I will prepare the bathtub..” I ask him after he finished his meal.” Baby?”

“No..” he says weakly and stares blankly the white bed sheet. He smiles sarcastically and giggles. I went weird.” Baby? What baby? Your dead baby..or..your dead wife? Stop calling me ‘baby’. It’s disgusting Yoon Dujun.” He says coldly and my heart thumps faster.

Yoseob-ah..

“I will take my own bathe so please, get out.”

“Baby..”

“Yoon Dujun-sshi..dont force me to go harsher than this. do you want me to curse you? do you want me to call you mur-“

“S-Seob!” I raise my voice while my chest hurts like hell. Yoseob only chuckles and flips his hair. He doesn’t dare to look staright to me as he always looks away when I’m around. I guessed..his hatred is that much..

“thanks for taking care of me this month and half. I don’t ask for it but..well, thanks for your caring. I’m much better than the day I lost my baby so..yeah. you can stop from these. You may find other to-“

“Yang Yoseob!”

I yell and grip his wrist. I stare him for a long time before my mind went crazy and decided to kiss him out of sudden.

Yoseob doesn’t push me yet he lets me to savor his plump lips, parts them a bit, giving me an entrance. I continue kissing him but seconds later, my heart hurts the most. I break the force kiss and cry silently.

“You’re a good kisser but..” yoseob glares and stares me with disgust. He smirks.” Do you like it? When I parted my lips, letting you treasure myself?”

I still holding his wrist but he pulls his hand away from me. slow and gentle, Yoseob lifts my face and makes me look into his dead and cold eyes.

He fake smile.

“Yoon Dujun..” he tilts his head, lips curve and he caresses my cheek. Yoseob pecks my cheek.” That’s the last ‘kiss’ I can give to my ex-husband. I don’t know if I can pretend and act as if I am okay living with a murderer like you.”

My heart stops from beating.

“Just…let me go and find someone else. I don’t think I can love you anymore.” He says and minutes later, he slowly gets up and walks to the bathroom.

Fast update. Sorry, can't write any longer than this.

I will try to make the next chapter more attractive and enjoy than this. kekeke. Enjoy chingus!

To dujun: Just stay strong! :3