Secondhand Serenade - Pretend

“oppa..mianhae..i didn’t mean to...”

“oppa please answer my call.”

“oppa..listen to me first. I swear i—“

“taemin oppa..please..”

Taemin listened to voice mails from soojung while stared at tv, literally staring at it because his mind wasn’t there.

 His phone vibrated again, one more voice mail.

“oppa, let me explain it. don’t be like this.” This time, taemin could hear her sobs. He was silent, truhtfully didn’t know what to do. He sighed again then tried to focus on tv.

“taemin-ah..” jonghyun called him. Taemin turned and saw his hyung already sat beside him.

“mmm..” taemin replied.

“you’re a man, right?” jonghyun started the conversation carefully. He knew that’s not easy to talk with him.

“yes, hyung.” Taemin nodded, giving fully attention to his hyung after turning off the tv.

“a man or a gentleman?” he asked again.

“hmm..i am a man but i wanna be a gentleman also.” Taemin replied. He knew what jonghyun tried to say.

“taemin-ah..” jonghyun paused “gentleman never let a lady down.”

“so don’t let soojung down.” Key interrupted from the back, making jonghyun glared at him.

“kibum-ah..”

“sorry. I just tried to help you.” He shrugged. Taemin could see his hyungs actually paid attention to their conversation but pretended to be busy with their activity. Like onew, deftly twisting the multi-coloured squares on his rubic cube but never arranged it perfectly. Meanwhile, minho stared at his phone, probably playing a new game but he didn’t make serious face as usual. Maybe key was the only person who didn’t try to hide his curiousity and kept interrupting them, Key was being key.

“i don’t let her down, hyung.” Taemin tried to defend himself.

“you made her cry for god’s sake taemin-ah that’s not how a gentleman suppose to act!” key rolled his eyes. He approached both of them and sat on the rug, facing both of them. Taemin turned to jonghyun, seeing his hyung remained silent because of key. It meant, what key said was true.

He’s probably a jerk in his hyungs’ eyes.

“okay..thanks for helping me, kibum.” Jonghyun rolled his eyes. “what i was trying to say before being interrupted by kibum is..you don’t have to be so cool or should i say..ukh a little bit mean to soojung just because you wanna look manly. Cool man, maybe looks manly but manly isn’t everything.” Jonghyun explained.

“you don’t understand.” Taemin shook his head. “you don’t understand.”

“then explain.” Key demanded, crossing his arms.

Taemin was silent. he sighed before telling his hyungs the situation. “remember when i couldn’t contact her at all yesterday?”

Both of key and jonghyun nodded, and onew unconsciously nodded too.

“well..she’s actually sick.”

No one spoke for a while, and taemin didn’t continue his words.

“then?” minho was the one who broke the silence.

“join us you eavesdropper!” key rolled his eyes, making minho grinned.

“she didn’t tell me but she told jongin.” Taemin lowered his voice. His hyungs could tell that their maknae was disappoint. “why did she tell jongin but not me? even when it’s just an allergic.” Taemin sighed.

“i don’t know what to say..” jonghyun gave up. “honestly if i were him, i’d be mad at her too.”

“but it won’t be fair if we blame all fault at her. Taemin-ah, why don’t you let her explain?” onew finally spoke. He tossed his rubic cube to the floor and approached s.

“should i?” taemin asked.

“yes. We don’t know the truth yet. So all you have to do is let her explain.”

“what if she lied to me?”

“do you think she’s a liar?” minho asked him. Taemin remained silent.

“trust her, taemin. she’s your girlfriend.”

“i can’t.” Taemin’s expression changed. “i can’t trust.”

His hyungs gasped. They looked at each other. “taemin-ah..” But no respon from taemin.

Onew sat in front of him, cupped his face. “taemin-ah, don’t be like that. Do you want to lose her?”

Taemin remained silent, refusing to look at onew. Onew could tell  that he’s upset.

They’re interrupted with taemin’s phone. Soojung called him this time, knowing that it’s useless to leave him voicemails.

Jonghyun took an iniative to answer the call. He made it loudspeaker so everyone could hear it.

“oppa!” she said as soon as jonghyun picked up the call. They could hear her sobs.

“taemin-oppa listen to me!” she sobbed again.

“soojung-ah, it’s jong—“ jonghyun tried to speak with her but taemin quickly grabbed his phone then left his hyungs.

“i’m going home tonight. Don’t wait for me.” He told them then left just like that.

***

Soojung stared at her phone helplessly when suddenly taemin hung up. She wiped her tears then tossed her phone on her bed. She tried  so hard to stop crying but she couldn’t.

She’s home alone because her parents went to their hometown to visit their family. Jessica was in japan for promotion and she had no intention to stay at the dorm because she needed to be alone.

She sighed then took her phone, she took a deep breath then called someone.

“yeoboseyo?”

“hi..” soojung managed to control her voice. “you still awake?”

‘it’s still 8 pm. Even elementary student don’t sleep at this time.” He snorted.

“but you’re a kindergarten.”

“are you crying right now?” he suddenly said. Soojung startled because of his sudden question so she remained silent.

“what happened?” he asked softly, making her wanna sob again.

“i-i am okay.” She said.

“liar.”

“hmph..”

“what?”

“no.”

“oh..”

“i call you because i want you to talk to me and make me forget what happened with me don’t just say a word!!” soojung nearly screamed at his best friend, making him surprise because of her sudden outburst.

“you don’t have to scream at me, soojung-ah. Tell me what happened.” He softened.

“taemin oppa hates me.” She sobbed again.

“are you drunk? There’s no way he would hate you.” He snorted.

“he didn’t want to talk to me. He rejected my call and hung up when finally he answered it.”

“why?”

“he’s mad because i didn’t tell him about my allergic.”

You didn’t have to tell him. He should’ve figured it out by himself instead. Jongin thought.

“hmmm..i think he’s just worried about you.” Jongin tried to sound neutral but deep inside, he’s a bit mad at taemin. How could he hurt soojung so easily?

“no, he didn’t. He didn’t even let me explain. And look at you, taking his side.” She pouted.

“i am not.” Jongin said truthfully. “so do you want me to take your side instead?”

“yes!” soojung groaned in frustration.

“okay, it’s his fault. Blame him.” Jongin said nonchalantly.

“i hate you.” Soojung snorted.

“i love you too.” Jongin laughed upon hearing her reaction.

“i didn’t say that.”

“you don’t have to say that.”

“whatever..”

They didn’t say anything for a moment. They were busy with their own thoughts.

“jongin-ah..” soojung broke the silence.

“hmm?”

“sing me something.” Soojung asked.

“no way.” jongin quickly refused. “i’d better dance for a day than sing for you for a minute.”

“why!! Your voice is beautiful!”

“don’t lie.” Jongin simply commented, making soojung sighed.

“i’ll give you something then.” Jongin offered.

“what?”

“just wait.” He said “i hang up, bye.”

“wait! Jongin—ukh.” Soojung snorted, she hated it when jongin hung up her call even before she finished her words.

She lied down on her bed. Staring at the ceiling in silence. She realized that she already stopped crying thanks to her best friend. She smiled unknowingly when he remembered about him, how he always be her moodmaker everytime she’s sad or felt down, and how he came in her life and the one who actually saved him for loneliness when the first time she moved to her new school. Her very first friend, and best friend. She felt thankful for these five years even though she couldn’t say it properly.

Suddenly her bell was rung. She quickly stood up and went downstair, couldn’t wait to see what jongin brought for her. She opened the door and quickly frozed when she saw the actual guess, and how the guess suddenly pulled her in tight embrace.

“o-oppa.” Soojung’s mind went blank. Taemin hugged her like he’s afraid to lose her, making her feel weird because minutes ago he’s still mad with her.

Jungie..” taemin said “i’m sorry. I should’ve let you explain. Don’t cry like that again.”

Soojung frowned. I thought he didn’t care. He let me cry for an hour in voice mail and didn’t even bother to reply my voice mails or texts. He even rejected my calls. Slowly, she circled her arms around taemin’s waist, hugging him back.

“i don’t cheat on you, oppa.” Soojung explained-unexpectedly-calmly. “i didn’t tell anyone even jongin. It’s just he came to my house because i didn’t respond his calls and he’s worried.”

Taemin’s embrace tightened and he closed his eyes. “jungie..my jungie..you won’t leave me, right?”

Soojung remained silent, she didn’t know what to say.

“promise me you won’t leave me no matter what happen!” taemin urged her.

“o-oppa..it hurts.” Soojung said after taemin hugged her too tight.

“i’m sorry.” Taemin loosened his embrace and stared at soojung’s eyes. “but i need you to promise me.”

Soojung was silent, making taemin slightly felt angry towards her. “are you going to promise me or not jungie? Or do you have a plan to cheat on me?” soojung could hear that he’s annoyed because of her.

“i love you oppa..” soojung said. “i do love you, since the first time i got to know you better. I could promise you everything if you could do the same.”

“i love you too, jungie. You know it.” he responded. He tugged her hairs behind her ears, caressing her cheek tenderly.

“so if i ask you to promise me that you won’t leave me no matter what happen, will you do it?” soojung asked, making taemin remained silent.

“or should i say..if i ask you to love me for who i really am, will you actually do it?” she finally managed to do that.

“jungie..” taemin was speechless.

Soojung’s eyes started teary. “oppa..” she paused “i already knew.”

“jungie..what are you talking about..” taemin startled. He didn’t expect her to do something like this.

“i saw evidences and yes, i know the reason behind it. but stupid me, i can’t even get mad with you.” She started sobbing franrtically. “what to do now?? I love you so much until it hurts..”

Taemin pulled her in embrace, whispering sorry many times. “jungie..mianhae..mianhae..”

“i hate myself for loving you this much. I feel awful.”

“i’m sorry..i’m really sorry..what should i do to make you feel better? I don’t wanna lose you, jungie. But..but—“

“pretend.” Soojung stepped back, staring at taemin’s eyes. “if you don’t love me, pretend.”