Feel so Bad
No Chance to Grow
Infinite - Feel so Bad
"my deepest secret is i love my best friend since the first time i saw her in the music room. and yes, i was upset because i was jealous to see her with someone else."
jongin's previous words were followed by uncomfortable silence. jongin stared at her, looking at her reaction after his sudden confession. much to her surprised, soojung didn't slap him or overreacted with that. she looked surprise, shock, and...disbelief.
"you got to be kidding me." soojung finally uttered her first words after regainning her sanity. "that's not funny."
"because that's not a joke, that's why it's not funny." jongin sighed.
"but that's insane!" soojung yelled at him "how?? why?? i mean--oh." she covered her face with her palms, still refusing to believe what just happened.
"confession isn't a crazy thing, soojung." jongin said.
"but that's insane when you confess to your very own best friend who is your very own best friend's girlfriend!" she snapped at him. "you're insane!"
"and you're the reason why i lost my sanity these years!" jongin snapped back, losing his patience all of sudden
"and you're the reason why i lost my sanity these years!" jongin snapped back, losing his patience all of sudden
soojung a bit startled when jongin was snapping back at her. she lowered her head, avoiding jongin's intense gaze. those eyes which usually made her comfortable suddenly changed.
she never saw this kind of look before.
"why.." soojung slumped back onto the couch, suddenly felt tired even after sleeping for hours. she stared at her socks even though that's just an usual socks. but she just needed to distract her mind right now.
"i don't know.." jongin admitted. "it happened..just like that. when i saw you for the first time and yeah, that's cheesy but i fell in love just like that."
soojung finally turned to him and saw him. she looked at his eyes and realized he just told her the truth.
"how? you never act like you like me or something. you act so...normal." soojung recalled her memories with him, especially their high school memories.
"because you tend to act weird or awkward if you know someone likes you." jongin explained.
"jongin-ah..i--"
"i wanna make you comfortable and happy, soojung. that's my intention since the start. if someday i could have you and be the one you love, that's a bonus. your happiness is my priority." he paused "so, i just wanna confess this. i won't ask you to give an answer or force you to choose between me and taemin because both of you are precious to me, you and taemin.so nothing to choose.
"so, this confession is for nothing?"
jongin shook his head. "not for nothing. it meant a lot for me, soojung. i always wanted to say it instead scream inside my heart. and finally, i managed to do so." he smiled.
"i don't know, jongin. i just--"
"don't think about it, don't think about me." jongin cut her words. "let's pretend this confession never happened. let's pretend that it's just a joke because hey, we often do this, right?"
"but it's different!" soojung groaned in frustration. "i hurted you.."
"no, it's not your fault, soojung." jongin shook his head, smiling weakly. "it's my risk. my loss. don't even think about it."
"i can't." she shook her head. "why didn;t you tell me? why?"
jongin remained silent, he didn't know what to say anymore so he decided that silence was the best way for now.
soojung's phone suddenly rang, breaking the awkward silence between them. she took her phone and stared at her phone without answering it.
"why don't you answer it?" jongin asked. soojung said nothing and put her phone back to her pocket.
before she did it, jongin quickly snatched it and saw the caller id. he sighed and took soojung's hand then put the phone on her palm.
"answer it, soojung. you have to make it up." he said.
"i don't know if i'm ready to face him or not."
"ready or not, you have to." jongin patted her head. "you don't want to be sad more than this, right?"
"ready or not, you have to." jongin patted her head. "you don't want to be sad more than this, right?"
soojung remained silent. jongin's kindness made her felt guilty even more. she felt like crying her heart out and pulled her hairs because of it.
"what did i do in my past life to deserve this kind of kindness?" she murmured, but loud enough for jongin to hear.
"and finally you admit that i'm a nice guy." jongin smiled. "too late."
'yeah, too late.' soojung thought.
she answered the call and took a deep breath before talking. "yeoboseyo.."
"Soojungie.." Taemin replied, his voice sounded relieve. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay." She simply replied. taemin must realized her voice sounded tired.
"Mm.."
There's an awkward silence for a moment because none of them were sure how to continue the conversation.
"Jungie.." he broke the silence first. "Can we talk?"
"Talk?" Soojung asked him back. she wasn't even ready to talk through the phone and he asked her to meet him?
"Mm.."
There's an awkward silence for a moment because none of them were sure how to continue the conversation.
"Jungie.." he broke the silence first. "Can we talk?"
"Talk?" Soojung asked him back. she wasn't even ready to talk through the phone and he asked her to meet him?
"go." jongin whispered, encouraged her to meet him. soojung looked at him hesitantly but jongin kept nodding and reassuring her that she had to do that.
"Hmm..okay." Soojung finally answered, a little bit hesitated.
"Where are you? I'll pick you--"
"Just named the place. We'll meet there." Soojung cut off. she didn't want to be with him longer than needed with this kind of situation. she needed some times.
"Umm okay." Taemin said. "How about the place we went in previous date? In 30minutes?"
"That's fine." She replied. too tired to argue or give any suggestion.
"Okay. I guess i'll see you later." Taemin said.
"Hmm..i'm hanging up." She said then hung up.
"Where are you? I'll pick you--"
"Just named the place. We'll meet there." Soojung cut off. she didn't want to be with him longer than needed with this kind of situation. she needed some times.
"Umm okay." Taemin said. "How about the place we went in previous date? In 30minutes?"
"That's fine." She replied. too tired to argue or give any suggestion.
"Okay. I guess i'll see you later." Taemin said.
"Hmm..i'm hanging up." She said then hung up.
"you'd better go now or you'll be late." jongin said.
soojung didn't move, she kept staring at jongin.
"what? am i that mesmerize so you can't take your eyes off of me?" jongin knew what's inside her head so he tried to act as normal as possible by joking around.
"michin." soojung muttered while hit his arms lightly.
"that's better. act normal, soojung-ah." he smiled while pinched her cheek.
"yah!" soojung protested, making jongin smiled even brighter.
"that's soojung i know." he clapped. "come on, i'll help you to find a taxi." he smiled.
they walked outside the house and fortunately, he saw taxi passed by. he quickly called that and the taxi stopped in front of his house.
"take care." jongin said.
"you too." soojung nodded. she didn't know why but it felt like they wouldn't meet anymore. it felt like a farewell.
soojung opened the taxi's door and about to get in while jongin stood in front of his gate. suddenly, soojung closed the door and back to where jongin stood. jongin questioned her but he got an answer when soojung suddenly hugged him.
"i'm sorry.." she said. "i'm really sorry."
"don't be like this, soojung..please just ignore me." he whispered, hiding his face in soojung's hair. "please.."
soojung finally loosened her embrace and stepped back, looking at him with teary eyes. she felt so bad yet she didn't know what to do.
"get in the taxi." jongin tried hard to hold his tears. soojung's tears made him wanna cry too.
"sorry.." she sobbed again.
"pass me by, soojung. nothing ever happened." he said.
"i'm sorry.." she said once more before getting into the taxi.
as the taxi lost from his sight, jongin's tears fell drop by drop. he kept convinving himself that all these things for their goodness, even when his heart felt so hurt.
Author's Note
hello everyone, i am back!
/drumroll/
hmm..first of all, thanks for wishing me a good luck and thanks to you, i could make it and the results are outstanding. (((did i just brag? lol just pretend i didn't say anything)))
because i love you so much, so i decided to make double update and here they are. i hope you enjoy it :)
and sorry for torturing both sides right now but i promise you, it won't take that long.
.it will end soon.
for this chapter, i'd like to thank pinnochi for giving me this song. It's actually a big help! so thank you so much, dear ;)
Any malaysian/indonesian here?
i think i'll finish it before next week since i'm afraid i wouldn't have time due to college stuff
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