With a dry feeling spreading across her chest, Hana walked to the door in slow, unsteady steps. She wanted to get out of this room, out of this hospital. She needed to. Wiping her eyes with the hem of her pullover's sleeve, she breathed in deeply. She wrapped her fingers around the cold surface of the door handle, pushed it down and opened the door.

Fortunately, the corridor was empty and the girl quickly walked to the backdoor of this corridor. Her face remained expressionless while she walked down the stairs of the side corridor of the hospital – also the emergency exit –, and she was suppressing the tears that were threatening to roll down her cheek, wanting to make her feel miserable.

Every single step felt heavy inside Hana's chest, while she slowly made her way out of the hospital. When she stood in front of the huge, heavy door, she pushed down the big door handle. Fresh wind welcomed her skin and the smell of nature – as much as the park at the backside of the hospital could be called nature – was in the air, playing with her sense of smell. The girl took a deep breath through thoracic breathing, her chest rising and sinking in the process. She walked further away from the hospital, and once she brought a distance of thirty meters between her and the hospital building, she closed her eyes and halted.

Taking another deep breath, she assessed the nice scent of early autumn. And Hana relished the odor of it, as it was a huge contrast to the metallic, sterile scent she was used to in the hospital. Here, amid grass and trees, she actually felt alive. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open and she lazily glanced around, before continuing to walk. She was strolling aimlessly. Without destination. And without realizing it herself, she found herself reaching the end of the park. There were several trees next to each other, leaving not enough space to walk further. Or so it seemed at first.

Hana didn’t turn around though and just looked at the bark of the tree, tracing the many lines on the surface of the bark with her eyes. When she heard something, though, she pricked up her ears and perceived the sound of … water. Automatically, she walked closer to the trees, even touched one. Leaning against the tree with her healthy hand to have more balance, she tried to squeeze through the small gap between two trees. She arched her neck through the gap and her eyes widened at the sight: a pond with water lilies swimming in it.

Ignoring the pain of her skin getting cut by rough parts of the bark or sharp leaves, she squeezed herself even more through the gap. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, once she made it to the other side of the trees. About two meters from the tree there lay the small pond, on the ground healthy grass could be seen. It was a beautiful sight. This small place didn't seem like a part of the big city, so natural did it look.

Slowly, Hana sat down, her feet only centimeters away from the water, and pulled her legs back to hug them. Half of her face was hidden behind her crossed arms which lay on her knees, only leaving her eyes uncovered. With them, she watched the water lilies. They could be seen in various bright colors – white, pink, violet, yellow –, looking so full of life. When the wind hit them gently, they moved, thus creating the soft sounds Hana had heard earlier. It was calming to watch them; it helped her get control over the raging feelings inside her injured heart.

Here – here is a good place to calm down.

Two days passed since Hana discovered the pond. After she came back, she hadn't left her room, because she didn’t want to face any people. She didn’t want to see humans approach her and stare at her, judge her with a sceptical look in her eyes. She knew something was not right with her right now. Hell, her mind had always been odd. But seeing the hostile looks in other people's eyes made her cringe. Although, despite her not wanting to meet any other people, she forced herself to go out of her room, because she wanted to see the newspaper. She had to know what was going on. Maybe, her parents had done something again. Who knew? It wasn’t as if she wanted to figure out things – if she could, she would just ignore everything –, but she needed to know. While she was here in the hospital, she could rely on nobody out there. Not even her family, since they were the ones she had to look out for the most. She needed to be cautious about their actions.

When she reached the main hall, she spotted someone just putting the newspaper on the chair next to his, and immediately walked to the old man. “Can I have this?” Hana asked; she hadn't heard her own voice for a while. It sounded almost unfamiliar to her ears. The man looked up and nodded his head. “Take it.” Hana bowed her head and disappeared with the newspaper. Once she was back in her room, she crumpled the newspaper and gulped. Was she ready to look at it? What if there was another terrible article?

Hana shook her head. Terrible or not, she had to bear it. She had to know what was going on. If her parents thought that just because she was inside the hospital right now, she wouldn’t get scent of what was happening, they were utterly wrong.

With that thought, she spread the newspaper, her eyes widely staring at the paper and her pulse fastened.

Heaving a sigh, she let go of the newspaper.

Nothing. Today, there was nothing.

Would it stay this way?

The next day, Hana took the newspaper from the same old man, who willingly gave it to her. Having thanked him quietly, she made her way back to her room, this time slowly. There was a spark of fear inside her today. She had a hunch that today there would be something. She knew it, but that wasn’t enough to prevent her from spreading the newspaper. Her nails dug into her palms, piercing through the thin paper.

Several of Jung Hana's old paintings were recently sold in an auction by her parents.

She only had to skim through the first two sentences to know where the damn article was going. … to pay the hospital fees … Was this some kind of sick joke? Repeating the five words again and again, in every article, as if the world wanted to mock her. In this world, she was the only one who knew the truth and seeing how lies were being spread, shoved into people's faces was … she couldn’t even describe it, so bitter did it feel.

Everyone in the world was thinking of her parents as saints and of her as the crazy daughter, who should be grateful for such a loving family. A hollow chuckle escaped Hana's lips. That was beyond being ridiculous. She was being beyond ridiculous. It wasn’t as if she had expected something else from her family, but why was she so disappointed in her actions? The sour feeling of disappointment rushed through her, and it took her so much willpower to stay rational. There was no need to feel sad about it. Her parents were terrible. The world was terrible. She hated all of them. She had closed her heart, hadn't she? But why the hell was she still so vulnerable when it came to news like this? Why was she still feeling disappointed?

It made no sense.

Unknowingly, she had left the hospital building, and when Hana looked up again, she realized that she was in the park again. She knew where her feet were bringing her to: the lily pond. This time, it was easier to get through the gap and she immediately lay down, curling herself into a ball.

Why did it feel as if she was suffocatin