“Are you really … ready?” Hana questioned, her worried gaze hushing between Luhan and the piece of paper, on which a name, cellphone number and address were written, in her hand. She was just sitting on the chair next to his bed, having come to visit him as usual. Five days had passed ever since her encounter with his parents. Ever since Luhan had cried like a vulnerable little child in her embrace. Not wanting to see him break down again, she made sure to be both more care- and thoughtful this time.

Luhan, who was leaning againt a few tucked up pillows, tilted his head a bit, a little smile beginning to grace itself upon his lips. “Yes,” he closed his eyes a second longer than usual, “I think I am ready. And even if I’m not, I … I want to get it over and done with.”

He wanted to take another step forward. Because during those five days he had come to feel the aftermath of his confrontation with the woman who’d given birth to him. It wasn’t exactly a sweet feeling, just. Just lighter. It was a feeling that eased breathing a lot. Not the act of filling his lungs with oxygen. No. The kind of breathing he meant was the feeling of being alive. For being alive can feel so heavy when there’s so much regret that one’s seemingly stuck without avail to move forward. He wasn’t flying now that he had overcome the loss and taken a step. But each step he'd take from now on was a lot lighter. And he wished to proceed this way.

“So please, Hana.”

The said girl pressed her lips together at the sight of his eyes begging her. How in the world was she supposed to decline? “Alright.”

“I’ll be on my way home then,” she mumbled as she leaned forward, locking gazes with him as her forehead almost touched his.

There was a silent promise in their eyes. The promise to be there for each other. The promise to help the other one to move forward.

Shortly before Hana leaned back again to stand up again, Luhan gave her another smile. Slightly caught by surprise, she broke into a childish grin before she really stood up and walked to the door.

“Hana?” The sound of her name made her halt when she had just grabbed the door-handle. “Hm?”

There was a silence longer than necessary and the girl frowned. “Yes?”

“Ah, nothing,” she could see in front of her mental eye how Luhan waved his hand slightly to end the conversation. Whenever something like this happened, Hana’s curiosity would be sparked. “Tell me, Luhan,” she said, turning her head lightly to glance at him from the corner of her eye. “It’s just … I wanted to thank you for all your effort and ... apologize for all the trouble. I know you’re busy enough with your own life and yet I am asking you for such a favor-” “-Luhan,” Hana cut him off as she completely turned around. “You are part of my life,” was all she said, a soft smile spreading across her lips and her eyes full of certainty.

“Don’t you ever call it trouble because I want to do this for you, and don’t worry about me, alright?” She softly said after taking a deep breath before she turned around again. That idiot, still worrying about me when he himself is the one he should be worried about, Hana thought.

“Make sure to eat enough, okay?”

“Mhm,” she heard Luhan hum in answer. There was a kind of sweetness in his tone that children had when making a promise. One that was usually accompanied by a wide smile.

Pushing down the door-handle, Hana then left the room.

-

“Zhang … Yixing,” Hana read out from the piece of paper as she arrived at the entrance of the apartment in a small town near Daegu. Three days had passed since her last time visiting Luhan. Today would actually be her next free day she’d actually use to visit him, but looking for Luhan’s old friend was the priority right now. Luhan and her had talked about it, discussed almost endlessly until he’d finally made a decision three days prior. He wanted to see his friend again. He wanted to apologize. He didn’t wish to become friends again. He only wanted to conclude something that had been left open much too long already.

“Zhang …” the girl mumbled as she read through the names of the residents. Once she found him, Hana stared at the name for a few seconds first before she finally pressed the bell button. Zhang Yixing was the other boy in Luhan’s photo. The one who had been grinning so happily with Luhan. He was a part of Luhan’s past. The past Hana didn’t know about and wasn’t part of.

Almost a whole minute passed when the sudden sound of a voice made Hana snap out of her thoughts, “Hello?”

For a moment Hana was at loss for words, but she quickly got herself together. “Uh, hello. Are you Zhang Yixing?”

“Yes, and you are?”

The girl gnawed on her lower lip as she thought about what to say. In the end, she decided to proceed tentatively. “You know Luhan, don’t you?”

There was a long silence and Hana lightly tapped her finger against against bell button, feeling nervous.

At last, the answer came, “I did know him, but we’ve lost contact.”

Hana sighed quietly, feeling relief making her body relax. At least he wasn’t denying that his relation with Luhan. That was already a beginning. “Why do you ask?” And back was the tension.

“I am … Luhan’s friend, Jung Hana,” she replied slowly. “You see,” she halted to think about her words first, “he wants you see you again.”

“But why are you telling me that and not he himself?”

Zhang Yixing’s suspicion towards a stranger like her was absolutely normal. However, it made it hard for her not to drop the bomb immediately.

“Because he can’t.”

“What?”

Hana took a deep breath before she said, “He is leukemia sick and currently at a hospital in Seoul.”

Another quite long silence followed and it almost drove Hana insane. Not knowing how Zhang Yixing would react, not even being able to see an expression changing or the like, increased the nervousness.

“I really don’t need some prank buzzing,” she heard him say. There was indignation and anger swimming in his voice. He didn’t believe her. Which was quite understandable, though, because who would believe a stranger just like that? But then again, Mrs. Lu had immediately believed her. How was she supposed to make him believe her? She couldn’t let herself be ignored. “If you excuse me-”

“I’m telling the truth! I really know Luhan. He has a photo of you two where you’re making bunny ears behind his head. He is – He wanted to be a singer and ran away from home because his parents were ag