(A/N: Please do listen to this BGM if you can. It will accompany your reading experience of this chapter so well.)

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From then on Hana would visit Luhan every single day. With Luhan's permission, Hana could also visit outside the visiting hours. It didn't matter whether she had time or not. If not, she would make time. Because for Hana it was clear that she couldn't waste any of Luhan's precious time. Not when there was only so little left of it. So she swore to herself that she would spend any minute – any second – she could muster up next to Luhan's bed. If necessary, she would skip university, ditch homework and studies, come late to work or skip it completely. And most of the time, it was necessary. But all of that didn't matter one bit for Hana. For all she could think about was Luhan. Even if he couldn't hold longer conversations or sit up properly or was sleeping, she would sit at his bed, caress his hand and softly talk to him. It didn't matter that Luhan could hardly reply to any of her actions. She wanted to be there for him. Nothing mattered besides that urge.

Four days had passed since his return, and day by day his condition was becoming worse. And Hana could only watch as that happened. The three times she had gone there already had been so painful. For the sight of him looking so lifeless itself seemed to break her heart every time she opened the door. Somehow she never managed to prepare herself for it and was always left standing in the door frame for a little too long to take in the small shock.

Today was the same. Hana swallowed hard before she pushed down the door-handle. Since Luhan was too weak to call out a loud “Come in” anyway, she'd left out knocking for the past few days as well. Her eyes automatically closed as she took in a deep gulp of air and she pushed the door open. Then when she knew that the door was opened enough, her eyes fluttered open.

He was asleep.

For him to sleep at such a time, he had to be very exhausted. She couldn't even imagine how much. Hana gulped once again and slowly walked to the bed. As quietly as she could, she moved the chair closer to the bed again and sat down.

For a while Hana just watched him sleep, not caressing his hand because hers were still cold due to the windy autumn weather. Then as she found that her hands were warm enough, she reluctantly took his hand in hers again. She remained completely silent while she gazed at the sleeping boy, her thumb gently the back of his hand.

Oh, Luhan.

She began gnawing on her lower lip after a while of staring at him and breathing slowly. It was an action to calm herself down. Because the truth was, she still felt the urge to cry seeing him so weak. That, however, was something she absolutely forbade herself. She had promised herself not to shed a single tear again in his presence. Not when he was in such a condition. Not anymore.

Twenty minutes passed in complete silence until Luhan's eyelids fluttered open slowly. His eyes widened a tiny little bit when he met Hana's gaze. She gave him a soft smile.

“Why didn't you … wake me up?” He breathed barely audibly.

Hana gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she softly answered, “Because you're tired and need enough rest.”

That earned her a disapproving look in Luhan's eyes. It took him several seconds to muster up the strength to speak again. “Next time … wake me up,” – he closed his eyes – “I'll die anyway … so a bit more … or less rest … doesn't matter.”

Even if it hadn't been his intention, that brought tears to Hana's eyes. She closed them momentarily to hold those in. And fortunately, Luhan still had his closed as well.

Calm down, Hana, she reminded herself again and again. When she thought she had, she opened her eyes again and breathed in deeply. Shortly after she had opened them, he did as well, and it took Hana every bit of strength to say the words she wanted to.

“D-Don't talk n-nonsense, L-Luhan,” she whispered, and involuntarily, her voice trembled. “Y-You will make it, so don't you e-ever say that again,” she continued with a sharper tone, but the trembling was still slightly present. It was a lie. At least, if it came from her mind. However, if she were to ask her heart, it wouldn't be. Because her heart still had hope. So it wasn't completely a lie to give Luhan more hope. It was partly Hana's true thought as well.

Luhan didn't say anything to that and just gazed at the girl for many seconds. It was as though he smiled through the gaze, so soft and kind did it look.

In return, Hana squeezed his hand a little bit again.

“Please … wake me up … next time … eh?”

When he was giving her such a sincerely pleading look, what was she supposed to do? When he asked her so innocently for something as simple as that, how could she refuse?

So Hana ended up giving in. “Mhm.”

Several seconds passed before the boy spoke up again, “Tell me … about your … day.”

Hana nodded her head, biting on her lower lip. “My day was nice. University wasn't too stressful. Despite the cold temperature, I like the weather. The trees look so pretty …” she halted and thought a bit. “I used to paint pictures inspired by the season of autumn. I love the way the leaves change their color. Those tones were always more inspiring, you know? The reddish ones looked rather somber whereas the lighter ones gave off a happy feel. Contradicting, isn't it?”

Hana's lips lit up to a smile when Luhan told her though a blink that he agreed.

“I think that contradiction gives autumn a nostalgic feeling, because nostalgia is something both sad and happy …When you remember something happy, you re-live that moment and momentarily feel as happy again. But then you realize that it's over and not the current reality and you become sad, wishing to return to that time.” Hana's voice was very soft as she finished, her eyes sad.

She blinked surprised when Luhan suddenly smiled at her. The way he smiled seemed to say “tch”. However, it was a happy “tch”, one that indicated he was holding back his laughter.

“Why-” Hana began to say, but her voice broke off when she realised the wet sensation. She was crying. She had unconsciously and unknowingly begun crying whilst describing nostalgia.

“Oh God, I-” her almost incomprehensible mumbling was cut off when Luhan whispered, “Some things … never change … huh?”

Hana's eyes widened a little as she noticed how Luhan tried to hold out his hand. She immediately grasped it and supported it as it slowly moved to her face. A quiet sob escaped her lips when his thumb brushed over her cheek. “It's okay … I know … you are … a crybaby,” Luhan said between heavy breaths, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Somehow, Hana could suddenly find the strength to give him a bright smile so full of happiness. “Yeah,” she whispered happily.

Maybe it was the fact that she, too, found it amusing how she was never able to get rid of her tears. Maybe, though, it was the fact that Luhan could say it with such a nostalgic look in his eyes and loving tone in his voice. Because he just said it in a way that let Hana know just how much he loved that about her.

And so between some tears and quiet sobs, Hana continued to tell him about her day and autumn. About art and nostalgia. About this and that. In the end, it really didn't matter what she talked about. She just wanted Luhan to hear her voice, so he would know that she was still here even if he closed his eyes from exhaustion.

After Hana entered Luhan's room the next day and sat down next to his bed, she pondered about what he had asked of her yesterday.

Please wake me up next time, eh?

A sigh slipped from her lips as she gazed at the sleeping Luhan. Alright. She reached out to touch Luhan's shoulder. Ignoring how frail he felt like under her touch, she gently nudged him. “Luhan?” She called out.

It didn't take a second “Luhan” for him to open his eyes. When his gaze met hers, a smile immediately graced itself onto his lips. “Thank … you.”

Hana's hand wandered to his face to cup his cheek. She caressed his cheek gently, as though she was saying “You're welcome”.

A few seconds passed in silence before Hana took a deep breath and spoke up, “Do you want to hear a little story from my childhood?”

The nod he gave her seemed to take up quite some strength as well, so Hana quietly said, “Don't move too much, okay?”

This time, he just blinked twice instead of nodding.

Hana smiled. “Goo