Yongguk’s P.O.V

It was nine in the morning and I was brushing my teeth. My hair was damp because I just took a shower. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was about to have a flashback, but one of my maid interrupted me. “S-sir… What would you like for breakfast?” she asked cautiously. I thought for a moment. What would Eunhae want to eat…?

“Chocolate chip cookies,” I told her. She raised her eyebrow and asked if I really wanted to eat cookies for breakfast. I nodded and dismissed her. I quickly rinsed my mouth with water, and washed my face with a bar of soap. I got out my hair drier, and just ran my fingers through my hair couple of times. When it looked like it was dry, but not so dry that it was dried all the way through, I jogged to Eunhae’s room. As I was jogging, everything that happened yesterday played in my head. I stopped jogging and stared at the white wall that was in front of me. I totally ruined our ‘relationship’ all because I was being cocky… I should ask her to forgive me… Right?

I came face to face with Eunhae’s bedroom door. This wasn’t my first time, since Eunhae always locks her door. I did yoga breathing, which is just inhaling and exhaling, and knocked on her door. “Come in~” Eunhae sang. WHAT? Did she just tell me to come in?? I turned the doorknob and it was opened. This doesn’t feel right… How Eunhae is welcoming me when she was yelling at me to go away yesterday. I guess I’m right with her being bi-polar. I put my head in her room and saw Eunhae organizing her closet. “Can you help me?” she asked me as she put up a white polo.

“Sure!” I said as I walked towards her. I sat down next to her and grabbed the first T-shirt I saw, which was a Mickey Mouse shirt. I glanced over at Eunhae because she was folding her polo. She looked over at me and saw me looking at her folding her shirt.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to fold clothes,” she said as she gave me a really look.   

“I know how to fold a shirt! You just do this,” I lied. I fold the shirt in half like hot dog style and handed it to her. “BAM!”

“For your information, you didn’t finish folding. You have to fold it one more time,” she told me. I fold it hot dog style again and she started laughing her off.

“W-what…? What is it?” I asked her. I was being serious; I have no idea what I did wrong.

“You have to fold the shirt into hot dog style fist, then fold it hamburger style! You’re so stupid,” she said as she demonstrated with a different shirt. She called me stupid… ERMAGWAD SHE CALLED ME STUPID!!! She called me stupid all the time when we were going out!

“Mianhae~ I never fold my clothes,” I confessed to her.

“Cause you have maids.”

“I know… its cause I live alone,” I confessed.

“You’re in your twenties, of course you live alone.”

“No… I was always alone… Ever since when I was seven,” I confessed. This was my first time I told someone my darkest secret. I never told anyone this, mostly because it made me look weak, which is the opposite of what I want my reputation to be.

“How come you never told me this?” Eunhae asked me as she put the cloth she was folding.

“I was afraid you’ll judge me. I was afraid that you’ll think I’m a meek boy,” I told her.

“No… You thought wrong. I would never judge you. I have no right to judge your pass and the hardships you’ve faced.” Her tone was serious.

[He’s going to telling Eunhae the story, but he’s going to like say some sentences from the past.]

“I was playing with my block toys and listening to music with a CD player. I smelled a delicious scent in the kitchen. I smelled chocolate chip cookies. I ran to my mom and saw her taking cookie pans out of the oven. She had two trays and the cookies looked amazing. She got two pieces of them and placed them on a pink glass dish. She also poured a glass of milk and handed it to me. I took it and walked to the dining table. She’s been making a lot of cookies and food I wanted to eat these days. It was like heaven for me.  My mom watched me eat my cookies, but she didn’t look happy. It looked like she was hiding something.

“Listen to me carefully honey. I’m not going to be your mother anymore. Your dad and I are now divorced and I’m going to marry someone,” my mom told me. This was too sudden for me to handle. I was five, I was eating cookies, and I always thought our family was that family that comes out in movies, and live happily ever after.

“Umma…” I was too shock to beg her not to go. She pushed her chair back and stood up. She walked past me, and walked up the stairs. I dropped my last cookie on my plate and ran to my mom. She was in her room, dumping all her things in her suit case. I watched her dump her clothes, makeup, and accessories in her suitcase. I still remembered one thing she didn’t put in her suitcase.

A picture of me.

Even if I was only five at that time, I still remember that day like it was just yesterday. It kind of hurt to see my own mother that gave birth to me, moving onto another man, and not even bothering to take a picture of her own son with her.

She left couple of minutes later, leaving me sitting in the middle of her room, crying for her to change her mind. She didn’t change her mind. In fact, she did even bother to wipe away my tears or bid me goodbye. My dad came back around 12 and he smelled like he drank a lot of alcohol and smoked at least two packs of cigars. I squinted and covered my nose. I had to take care of my father for the next few days. He didn’t know how to cook rice for me, so he made ramyun for me every single meal.

Years passed and it was my freshman year. I still cried myself to sleep and learned how to cook food for myself. I was always home alone while my dad will either be working or clubbing. My hatred for my mother grew stronger and stronger. She never bothers to visit me in person. Instead, she’ll just send in ten hundred dollars every month. Every time she sends me money, I always hide them from my dad so he won’t use that money for drugs.

I was alone most of the time, so I decided to make some friends. I made friends with a gang, and they call themselves B.A.P. It stands for best, absolute, and perfect. They made me the leader since I’m apparently “charismatic”. Now there were a total of five gangsters in B.A.P.

Couple of years later, I met the girl of my dream.  I first thought she’ll be an ordinary girl, but she wasn’t. Something about her was grabbing my attention. Something about her wanted me to see her more every day. As time went by, I realized that I was in love with you. It was my first time falling in love with a girl and I knew she was the one. She made me feel like I’m important to this world. She showed me the love that I needed from my parents. I realized that she was my key to forget about all the past that was affecting my future. I also ditched B.A.P to spend more time with Eunhae. They got pretty mad at me and threatened to kill Eunhae, but I took care of it. I told them that I’ll kill myself and haunt them until they die.

Anyways, I was couple of steps away from forgetting about the past and letting go. One day, I decided to look for a restaurant that you’ll like. I wanted to tell you how much I loved you, and how much you mean to me in my life. I went into a new town and asked people if there were any amazing Italian restaurants. A lot of people recommended this restaurant that was recently built. I walked in and saw a familiar lady. She looked like she was in her 40’s. I ordered cream spaghetti, Eunhae’s favorite. I couldn’t help but to look over at the lady in her 40’s. It wasn’t because she was attractive or anything, she just looked… familiar.

She handed me my plate of pasta and told me to call her if I need anything. Her voice sounded familiar too. I glanced over at her to see what she was doing. She was flirting with a guy around her age. They looked around and I quickly looked away. A few seconds later, I looked over and saw them kissing. I almost choked on my spaghetti. Why were they kissing in public? Are they married? I shook my head, and tried to focus on my spaghetti. I got to admit; their spaghetti is amazing. I waited for the lady to come and give me my check. She came after five minutes and got my plate. I looked over at her nametag to see if I knew her.

Kim Minsuh

MOM?

This was where she moved to so she’ll have a better life? I can’t believe she didn’t even figure out that I’m her son.

After that day, I visited the store often, but never went inside. I just watched her outside the window. A mixture of anger and pain was taking over me. I was hurt because it killed me to see my mom after like 13 years. It made me angry that she never visited me, and ditched me for this man.

My anger towards my mom was starting to get out of control. I wanted to kill her new husband so she’ll understand what I’ve been through. However, there was a little soft side in me, telling me to just go up to her and tell her that I’m her son. Bang Yongguk that loves chocolate chip cookies and milk. The soft side was too small for me to change my mind. I was ready to kill the man who ruined my life. I took out two envelopes with a thousand dollars in each envelope, and went to an underground secret gang tunnel. I came face to face with B.A.P and they changed their hair color. It was blonde and some had some cuts on their faces. They asked me what I wanted, and I asked them for a gun. They scoffed at me, but I threw my two stacks of money. They looked over at it, and held a mini conference. They threw me a gun, and I caught it. I smirked and thanked them for the gun.

I covered my face with a mask and hit the gun in huge jean pocket. I invaded the restaurant, and they had more customers than I expected. I held out my gun and everyone ducked. My mom looked terrified. I smirked, and shot her husband. He collapsed in seconds. I could see tears running down my mom’s eyes. I looked around and saw some people moving. They had their phones out, so I shot them. I actually never planned on shooting these innocent people, but all the pain that I’ve been holding onto for years needed to be released. I shot every single person that dared to move. I was looking around to see if anyone was moving. I looked to my right, and saw a girl shaking a dead body. It was probably her mom’s body. She looked around, and we made eye contact. It was you… The very next day, we broke up… I still regret shooting those innocent people. 

"I'm so sorry... I never knew you've been through all the things I never went through, except loosing my mother," Eunhae told me. She gave me a hug, and I could feel my cheeks turning red. I missed this hug... "So after this, you couldn't eat chocolate chip cookies?" she asked me. 

"Nope~ but I'm going to eat it today with you! I asked my chief to bake us cookies!" I told her. A cute smile formed in her face and we started talking about other random things while folding Eunhae's clothes.  

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[A/N]

Since I didn't update a long chapter on my previous chapter, I decided to write a lot :) So basically Yongguk went through a lot of things. That's the reason why he's all cocky. Also Eunhae is starting to understand his actions!!! 

>:)

Thanks for reading!! I'm not going to spam pictures of B1A4, Infinite or B.A.P because it's 1:16 AM and I NEED TO SLEEP! I NEED TO GROW!!!!!

Thanks for reading~~ <3

Keke thanks you for reading~ don't forget to comment ;3

Oh! I forgot to mention that in B.A.P (gang group in this chapter, Zelo is NOT in it!!)