Blue Jeans
Heartbreaker
it only took two months for me to smile again. to see the world in color, and all thanks to Kris. my boyfriend "finally we have time to talk" Kyungsoo says as he gives a glass of water to Kris "sorry, being a doctor doesnt give me time for anything" Kyungsoo sits down next to Jongin, and Kris and me sit infront of them "is okay, Luhan talks about you almost everyday" i blush
"good, i talk about him at work too" Kris smiles at me, and i blush even more "is time?" Jongin asks, i look at my watch. it was seven thirty "what?" Kris looks nervous as he gives a look to Kyungsoo and Jongin. i look at them, then back at Kris. they are hiding something "Luhan, i dont want to presure you and you know that i would do anything for you"
Kris stands up, i glance at Kyungsoo and Jongin "this ring" Kris takes a box from his pocket "is just a promise..that one day you and me would marry and make a life" Kris grabs my hand helping me stand up. he grabs my left hand and puts the ring, Kyungsoo and Joning start to clap. i was still in shock. Kris hugs me not letting my hand go.
im laying down, and my walls werent full of pictures of a certain face, that i could never finish. in my hand im holding Kris ring. i continue to play with it. it just didnt feel right. me having a ring. me making that promise to Kris. maybe im just nervous, knowing that my life from this point on has change. i put the ring next to my bed. i keep looking at it, and the idea cant enter my head.
"are you ready?" i say as stand infront of Kris. every day we go and eat lunch, i pick him up from work. we would hold hands and walk around the city. then he would take me home "is that the ring, i gave you?" he points at the necklace "yes, i thought it would look more nicer if i make it into a necklace" "Luhan thats not the point of the ring"
Kris says but his voice was calm. i nod and i take the necklace off, i take the ring off and i put it in my finger "lets go" Kris smiles, and as long as his happy im happy right? he grabs my hand. my left hand to feel the ring between his fingers. im still waiting for something more to feel.
"you know the patient i was telling you yesterday?"
"uh...yes" Kris begins to talk about how happy he is that, that little boy is healthy now. and how he can go back to school. he drinks, eats alittle and begins to talk more. im happy, really iam. but i just didnt know how to show it. my face seem like i havent sleep for a year, i was getting this feeling of wrong
"is something wrong Luhan?"
"it feels wrong"
"what?" i look up to see him "nothing" i smile, and he smiles back "im going to the restroom, i be back" i nod, and he gets up and leaves. i see his handsome back, and smooth blonde hair. i smile, i truthly smile. i look down at my hands, and i take the ring off. i put it in my pocket. and i continue to eat.
"come" we leave the restaurant, and Kris pulls me to the other direction "come theres this music store" i didnt feel going anywhere else. i want it to go home, to those four walls that i call friends. of course i was never good at faking things, so Kris notice it right away "whats wrong?" "i just...i want to go home" Kris puts his hand in my forehead "are you sick?"
i shake my head "im just tired" Kris nods and takes me to the car.
the car is to silent, so he turns the radio on. i continue to look at the window, but everyones in awhile i can feel Kris eyes on me. i think he thinks im going to go back, how i was. when i can go for a whole week without talking. and i wouldnt mind. i know he wants the best for me, because he loves me. but is so easy to go back how i was.
not talking, is just to easy to do. Kris stops the car in front of Kyungsoo's and Jongin's apartment. i open the door, and he opens his. i was hoping he wouldnt ask to come in "wait Luha..." he grabs my left hand and notices that i dont have the ring "Luhan wheres the ring?" Kris lets go of my hand, i open my mouth. but i close it.
"i was stupid to believe you were okay" i sigh "Kris, everything is okay. is just this ring. it doesnt feel good" i take the ring from my pocket "i think you should have it back" Kris was about to take the ring back, but he stops "Luhan, if you give me the ring then its better to stop seen each other" i lower my hand, another break up, i dont think i can take it.
"are you breaking up with me?"
"are you giving me the ring back?" i look at the ring, i can pretend that i love it. i can pretend that i want it. but how long can that last? i dont want to hurt Kris, not him. not after all his done for me
"....yes" Kris sighs, sad
"then yes"
i give the ring back, and i wait for him to yell at me. to tell me he hates me. but he looks at the ring.
"you know, he didnt get marry"
"eh?"
Kris looks at me "Yixing, he didnt married Suho" a name i havent heard in awhile, comes back. i forgot how his name sounded, the way the Y makes a sound. the lovely way people say his name.
i forgot all of that.
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