25thDec 2012, Tuesday, Snowing

Hyuna's POV

Yup, so I was being assigned to Dazzling Red group for this year’s SBS Gayo Daejun ‘Color of K-Pop’ special collaboration project. I was excited initially, because 4 minute has always been in our own little world and seldom interact with the rest of the idols, and I thought this would be a good opportunity to befriend with our colleagues.

Not until I saw the name list.

Nicole - Kara.

Ever since that incident on the yacht, Kara’s members would throw me deadly stares which made me uncomfortable whenever we met at backstages. I believe they have heard stories of me from Hara.

What else can I say? What else can I do? I was in the wrong. I shouldn’t hold feelings for my bestie’s lover. I shouldn’t cross that line no matter what.

But.
I can’t.
I can’t control where my heart takes me to.

I can’t.
I can’t control when this feeling has been staying deep down in my heart for the looooongest time.
 

Soon after our self-introduction in the dance studio, our instructor came in and showed us the video of the choreography before getting our feet up on the floor. The whole afternoon passed just like that. We were all dog-tired and finally the instructor called for a break.

“Hey girls! I’m here to pay a visit and have got some drinks for y’all!” Gyuri came in with some thirst quenchers.

“That’s exactly what we need now at this moment, thank Gyuri unnie!” Nana exclaimed.

“Kara Jjang!” Hyosung squealed.

“But of course!” Gyuri laughed.

Nicole then came up to me and passed me a bottle of Pocari. “Nah, this is for you.” She smiled.

I reached out for the bottle and returned her a puzzled smile. Perhaps it’s for the cameras around us. Perhaps, like what I saw the other day, Junhyung and Hara have patched. That explains the change in Nicole’s attitude towards me.

My heart sank, I admit. As much as I hope the best for them, deep down, my heart shattered into thousands, no, I think million of pieces.

But I have no other choice, but to unleash my bubbly side in front of the camera. Like I mentioned earlier, there were many cameras around, not only filming our practice, but also how we behave ‘behind the camera’, in our usual selves. Audiences are always curious to know how we are like behind the curtains. But if we were to show some blank or unhappy expressions, negative and untrue comments would buzz all over the social medias.

Hah, pathetic isn’t it. That’s the life of a celebrity. We are never off-screens.

I gargled down the bottle of Pocari, hoping it could wash the bitterness away.
 

“Okay, let’s get back on our feet and continue with our practice, girls! We have no time to lose. There’s still recording of the song tomorrow, and we only have about 4 days left! We need to make full use of every single minute!” The instructor gathered us back and we continued practising despite our tired bodies.

In the midst of dancing, my stomach suddenly cramped and felt like there was some person inside me clawing my stomach. I need to poo and within seconds, I found myself sitting on the toilet bowl, letting out what I think is almost everything in my tummy, including my gastric and intestines.

I made several trips back and forth from the studio to the ladies. And for the very last time I walk back to the studio from the ladies, the practice seemed to have ended. The camera crew had already started keeping their gadgets and equipment, and the rest of the girls were gathering in a corner at the back of the studio.
 

As I walked towards them, I could hear their mumblings.
 

“She must be loafing in there.”

“Unfair, when we are all slogging our off here.”

“Just because she thinks she is diva~”

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