22nd Dec 2012, Saturday, Windy

Hyuna's POV

The thought of tomorrow creates butterflies in my tummy. This is the first time I dread attending award ceremonies so much.

But this is work.

We had to stick by it, regardless of what happened. It’s coming to the end of the year, and there are so many awards ceremonies to attend, which means there are chances that I might meet Kara (Hara Unnie to be exact) backstage.

And Hyunseung.

That’s what I fear most. The Trouble Maker stage tomorrow. Trouble Maker was nominated in most of the award ceremonies, which means there are more ceremonies we have to attend. Together. And it only spells awkwardness.

That was why Papa Hong was against us being together initially. He made us promised that if anything happened in future, we have to show our professionalism and draw a line between personal and work lives. We agreed.

Easier said than done. It’s hard, really really hard.

How can I possibly act like nothing happen when something really happened?

Knock Knock! “Hyuna, are you asleep? May I come in?”

“Yes, please.”

Gayoon came in with a glass of milk in her hand, and sat by my bed.

“I see that you did not eat much during dinner. Here’s a glass of milk to make you sleep better tonight.”

“Unnie…” Tears welled up my eyes. This small little gesture is just so comforting. Especially at this kind of moment when you feel like the whole world has abandoned you.  

“Why are you crying Hyuna-yah? Are you okay? Something happened?” Gayoon asked in concern.

“Unnie.. me and Hyunseung… have broken up.”

“Yah! Jung Hyunseung this rascal! How dare he bully our baby Hyuna! Don’t be sad Hyuna, it’s his lost. There are so many better guys out there waiting for you to choose them. Don’t broad over this guy who don’t cherish you.”

“It’s not like that, unnie. It's my fault.” I began telling her my complicated relationship, from Hyunseung, to Junhyung then to Hara.

“So I was right. I always thought you had some kind of affection towards Junhyung oppa. But I thought I was wrong when you got together with Hyunseung. It’s okay darling. Now that you are single, you will have your freedom to love who you want.”

“But why does my heart hurts so much? And how am I going to face Hyunseung oppa tomorrow? There are still so many Trouble Maker activities going on.”

“You can do it, Hyuna. You must. Remember, this was your choice and there’s no turning back. Take this as a milestone for you to grow up, and face all this with an open heart. Don’t forget, you’re not alone. I will always be here for you no matter what.”

“So do we!” Sohyun chimed, jumping onto my bed with the rest of my members following behind her.

“Sorry Hyuna, we didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but we are all worried about you.” Jihyun unnie explained, at the same time giving me the warmest embrace.

These are my members; the sisters God forgot to give me.

23rd Dec 2012, Sunday, Windy

Today is Seoul Music Awards and almost all idol groups and singers were there. And we have a full dress rehearsal before the real show. So after our 4Minute performance, I had to change out of my ‘Volume Up’ outfits and get myself prepared for Trouble Maker rehearsal.

And there, Hyunseung was waiting for me near the stage. We exchanged faint smiles and the rehearsal went on with us not saying more than ten sentences, or maybe less than five. Just the usual greetings and that’s it.

Next up would be the red carpet show where I was told to walk with Hyunseung instead of 4Minute, as we were nominated for the Best Collaboration Award. I bet Hyunseung has the same thinking as me. This is way too awkward. Working with your ex, still having to act as if nothing happens.

As we were waiting for our turn to walk the red carpet, Hyunseung suddenly turned towards my direction and came closer to me. My heart skipped a beat and suppressed my breath. “There’s something on your hair.” He said with the manliest voice while tidying my hair.

“Why are you so tensed? We can’t be lovers, but doesn't mean we can't be friends right?”

I heaved a sigh of relief, and smiled at his remark. He never fails to make me feel at ease, even at such awkward situation. Luckily he is professional enough.

“Come on, our turn up next.” He said, extending out his hand. I accepted without hesitation. Hand in hand, we walked down the red carpet.

Our fans cheered and applauded. They liked us together. We both knew. Ever since Trouble Maker subunit debuted, our mutual friends had been telling us we looked great together. And I have been receiving fan letters indicating how much they wish we are together in real life. Some even suspected that we are already together.

But they never know. We really are. I mean, we were.

I also knew there was this Team Hyunseung VS Team Junhyung going on as well. Fans liked to pair us up in their fictional virtual world. I saw those fan made videos and was amazed at how sharp their eyes were, and how they let their imagination run.

We soon reached the other end of the lane, and we both went back to our respective makeup room to rest for half an hour before the actual show starts.

***

And yes, Trouble Maker won the Best Collaboration Award, and Hyunseung held my hand again when going up the stage for our thank you speech. After the speech was our Trouble Maker performance. This time we performed our ballad track ‘The Words I Don’t Want To Hear’ instead of our usual dance item ‘Trouble Maker’.

The song played. And we sang. The atmosphere was different from rehearsal, as rehearsal was more like microphone testing and position marking. But this time we both put in more feelings into the singing, and suddenly I felt that the lyrics were just too apt.

Close your eyes for today, just like what you did every day, just hold it in.
Every time you get mad, really, each time you do that.
I’m sorry Uh~

Each time you do this to me, you don’t know,
but you are moving further away from me.
Don’t cry with a sad expression anymore.
I don’t want this type of love again

You are making excuses with the words I don’t want to hear.
You are really the type person that I shouldn’t be meeting anymore.
The type of person I am not supposed to love.

Do you still not know me? Do you still not know how much I love you.
I really can’t live without you, I just need you.
Again, one more time (to me) if you just give me one more chance.

You always trick me with those same words.
And every time you do, my heart clenches, we don’t match each other anymore.
I don’t want to spill my tears again No~

You are making excuses with the words I don’t want to hear
You are really the type person that I shouldn’t be meeting anymore
The type of person I am not supposed to love.

I know all I can say are the words “I don’t want to lose you”.
Right now you are saying the words I really don’t want to hear again.

You are making excuses with the words I don’t want to hear.
You are really the type person that I shouldn’t be meeting anymore.
The type of person I am not supposed to love.

Right after Trouble Maker’s stage was 4minute’s. I only had like 2 minutes interval to change into my ‘Volume Up’ outfits and ran back to the stage before the lights are up.

Halfway through the performance, I sensed that my shoes were giving way. The heels shook a little and so did I. I quickly find back my balance to prevent myself from falling. But the heels still broke. I quickly took them off and continued the performance barefooted.

Embarrassing I know. But if I were to fall on stage, it would be worse.

Returning to the backstage, I saw Junhyung oppa holding on to Hara unnie’s hand, pulling her to a secluded corner.

Oh, maybe they had patched up.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Heyyo guys! Wazzup!!
I'M BACK! did y'all miss♡ me?
lolol okay ignore my self-enthusiasm-.-

anw, hope this chapter doesn't disappoint y'all,
though i know i am not a creative storywriter,
and it's getting monotonous and drier.
try to bear with me okays?
i'll try to spize up the story as i can :)