2^nd  Dec 2012, Friday, Gloomy

Hyunseung's POV

It’s been a week since Dad’s passing. I had always believed it’s a phase that everyone had to go through. But ever since his departure, I can’t help but to ask, why has it to be me for now.

I will always remember that fateful night. Mom was literally crying her heart out at the wake. She couldn’t accept the fact Dad left our family in just a night. Sis was trembling in a corner. She had always been a daddy’s girl, dearly doted by Dad, who treated her like a little princess in our house. Heart attack was indeed scary. With no history of any illness or any bad health habits, it caused us to lose a family member overnight. Friends and relatives came down to the wake and paid respect to Dad. It’s ironical that when you’re born crying, everyone else around you is smiling, but when you die smiling, everyone else around you is crying.

Company gave me a month off from our schedules, and I stayed at home to accompany my mom and sister. Now that I am the only man of the house, and these two women need my support, be it financially, physically or emotionally. I know I had to be strong. I must be. I could only weep silently in my room during late nights.

As the saying goes, “Bad things come in pairs.” How apt.

Hyuna and Junhyung..

Dad’s passing..

Everything just has to come together.

I'm lost. I don’t really know what to do.

And, I really miss my dad. Though we did not share a very close relationship, I respected him a lot. He had groomed me to what I am now. He did not approve of my decision to enter this industry initially; however, he still helped me fulfill my dream. Without him, I would be living as a different person, having a different mindset, leading a different life. To the most awesome man who was and will ever be in my life, I love you, Dad.

And needless to say, Hyuna was by my side all these while.

As much as I want to accept all her concerns, I can’t forget that night in her practice studio.

I can’t help but to think that all these concerns that came from her are just empathy.

Not love.

Perhaps in a corner of her heart, she loves me still.

Perhaps it’s because of sympathy.

Perhaps, it’s both.

Or perhaps,

It’s neither.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Hyuna's POV

Yes, I admit. Junhyung’s drunken confession seemed to waver me a little.

But Hyunseung’s dad’s departure gave me a greater impact. It reminded me to cherish those I love, as well as those who love me. And that includes Hyunseung.

I just want to stay by his side. I know I have to. He needs me now.

I could sense Hyunseung was hiding something from me. He was clearly there that night. But I don’t know why he chose to deny. I don’t wish to bug him further, not at this moment especially.

Perhaps I was being oversensitive.

Perhaps I was wrong about Junhyung’s confession.

Or perhaps,

I was wrong about my own feelings all these while.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

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sorry to disappoint  y'all w this short update. really busy these days ): 

i must admit it's getting abit no where now. 
hope i don't bore you guys..

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