I've been stirring in my bed, unable to sleep at all. I keep thinking about Qian, about our child. And I keep thinking of how am I supposed to talk to her tomorrow, or should I say, later in the morning.

Taec and Yoona told me to go with them tomorrow to the Child Care Centre. They have to bring Erin to the Child Care Centre, as well as making a chance for me to meet Qian. When they made this suggestion, I nodded hastily. I wanted to meet Qian, I wanted to. I wanted to go back to the past, I wanted to hold her, hug her, kiss her like before, but I'm not sure whether I have the chance and rights to do that.

Because I'm sure the lady I saw earlier in the supermarket is Qian. And she's with a guy, and the child called him 'Appa'.

She may have gotten married, or maybe it's just her boyfriend, or just a friend. But among these 3, the first one has higher possibility.

I shake off all my thoughts. Maybe the lady was not Qian. Maybe I was thinking too much. Maybe the uncertainties have gotten to me. I close my eyes again, waiting for sleep to come to me.

I'll just have to wait till tomorrow to confirm my thoughts.

***

"Bye Omma, Appa, Uncle Khun!" Erin waved at us as she went in with a teacher. I wave back to her.

"It's only the first day, and she seems excited."

"Just like you, always getting excited at small little things."

"Yah!"

"But that's cute, I like it."

I ignore the two and keep looking around. I turn back to the Child care Centre main entrance when I heard the sound of the closing door.

"Excuse me, may I know is there any child coming later?" I ask the teacher that is closing the door. I know they won't close the door when some children have not arrive. And until now, I haven't saw Qian.

"No. All of the children are here. Sir, are you looking for someone?" She asks, and I shook my head. I thanked her before walking back to the hostel.

"Hey, Khun, you know you can still see her later, right?" Taec asks as he walks beside me. I kept silent for a while before I answer him. "Yes. I'll go back first. See you guys later."

***

I walk to the Child Care Centre, alone. Taecyeon and Yoona said they needed a lot of time to prepare dinner, so they want me to help them to fetch Erin. But I know their real intention.

I stop my steps a few metres away from the Child Care Centre. I don't know how to approach nearer. The familiar guy from yesterday, waiting by the car. Then the familiar kid ran towards the guy, hugging him. The lady following behind the kid, has really stop me from any movements. It's Qian, it's really Qian.

I wanted to approach her, wanted to hug her, telling her I miss her. But I know I'm not in the place to do that. She's with someone, whom the kid called him 'Appa'. She has moved on.

When the car left, I walk towards the entrance of the Child Care Centre. Erin is already sitting on the bench with a teacher at the front porch. I walk towards them, apologise to the teacher for the lateness in fetching Erin, and took her little hands and walk out of the Child Care Centre.

I didn't notice that there was someone at the entrance, which stops me from taking another step.

And it was the someone that I miss the most, that I have always loved.

"Qian..." I called her silently in my mind. She was surprised too when she sees me. We just stood there, no movements were made, no words are spoken.

"Ah, Miss Victoria, here's Kayden's toy car. Luckily you have come back to get it. I was about to call you." The teacher with Erin earlier walks to her and pass her the toy car, whilst I was trying to get what the teacher said through my head. The teacher called her Victoria. Although she is speaking Japanese, I'm sure she calls her Victoria.

"Thank you." She said as she look at the teacher, and walk out without even taking a look at me. I stood there, not knowing what to do. It was the teacher's voice and Erin's tug that wakes me up.

"Sir, did you need any help? Did Erin forget something?"

"Uncle Khun, why are you not moving?"

The teacher speaks in Japanese while Erin speaks in Korean. I answered the teacher with a 'No', and quickly carried Erin up and ran towards Qian's direction.

"Qian!" I shouted, but she kept on walking towards the car. I ran faster, and holds on to her arm before she could get in.

I turn her around, and she just looks more surprised. I know I shocked her. I don't know why I did that either. Earlier I was trying to not meet her, only seeing her from afar. But now, I went after her.

"Qian... I finally found you." That's the only thing that came into my mind, and I said it unknowingly.

"I... I..." That's all she could say before someone interrupt.

"Vic, who's this? Do you know this guy?" It was the guy who was with her earlier spoke, in Korean.

"He's... He's..." She stutters, so I tried to introduce myself to him.

"I'm-"

"I don't know him. He's just someone I met earlier at the Child Care Centre. Can we go, Changmin?"

What she said, I don't know how I should feel. She said she don't know me. She really hates me.

I stood there, frozen, and watched her steps into the car and drove off.

"Uncle Khun. Do you know Kayden's Omma?" Erin asked, which brought me back to reality once again, and I started walking back to the Hostel.

"Kayden?"

"Yes. The beautiful lady you talked to just now. Kayden's Omma. Kayden is the only one who speaks in my language and the one that will play with me. Not like the others that speaks in weird language that you, other uncles and Appa Omma knows how to speak." She said, but I just ruffled her hair, didn't answer her anymore. My mind kept thinking of the 3 people.

Kayden, Changmin, and Victoria.

***

The next day, I went to the Child Care Centre earlier, waiting outside the entrance, hoping to see her, hoping I'll get to talk to her. Taecyeon and Yoona do not know that I'm here, since I'm half an hour earlier than yesterday.

The familiar car stops in front of me, but only the guy, Changmin, and the kid, Kayden, came out from the car. Changmin take a look at me, and bring Kayden in to the Child Care Centre. I just stood there, looking inside the car.

No one is inside.

"She's not here." Someone speak in Korean.

I turn around, and realise it was Changmin who said that, and he's saying it to me. He must have known I was looking for Qian- I mean, Victoria. If he's Victoria's boyfriend, or even husband, with me looking for her, he must have felt something. I tried to lie to him.

"I don't know what you are saying."

"I know who you are." He said, which surprised me. Did Qian tell him about me?

"Do you have time? I would like to have a talk with you."