Nichkhun Horvejkul

"Khun ah! Stop drinking! Drinking will not change the reality!"

"Yes, Jun.K hyung is right, you can't keep drinking!"

"Can you guys don't stop me?!"

"Here's your drink." the bartender said and put the drink on the table. Junho and Jun.K snatched away my drink before the bartender could give it to me. "Tsk, you! Stop giving him drinks!"

"Khun hyung, come, let's get you back home."

"I don't have a home!" I shouted while I got away from them. "I don't have..." I started sobbing. Because of my stupidity, and because the lack of trust in her, I cause myself to be in this situation, and hurt her.

I can still remember that day, the day that I hurt her.

"Khun oppa... You came." She walked towards me when I step inside the empty club, which belongs to her brother.

"Why did you call me here, Yoona?" I ask, coldly.

I can still remember what happened a month ago, what happened between me and her. I tried to put it to the back of my head, but I can't.

It was the day where me and Qian had a fight, about the kiss that I saw between her and Kyuhyun in campus, and I just have to leave the apartment to have some fresh air, clear my head, and have some drink, here. While I was drinking, Yoona came to sit beside me, and asked me what's wrong. I told her everything that had happened. I remember she told me to forget about it, and maybe I was thinking too much. And since I'm already here, she told me to have some fun.

The drinks keep coming, from what I can remember. And then I don't know what happened next, I guess I'm drunk that day. And when I woke up the next morning, I'm in a hotel room, sleeping beside Yoona, both of us fully , and there’s blood stained on the bed.

I leave the room before she woke up, because I was scared, scared that I have taken advantage of her, and taken her ity. I was scared that I might have hurt Qian, which I don't want to, as I really love her. But if I did have with Yoona, I should have remembered something, but I don't. Perhaps I'm too drunk to remember.

The next day, we met at school, and talk about the incident, but she suggested that we should just forget about it, since the both of us doesn't want to hurt Qian. Qian was her best friend, and I'm her boyfriend. And after that, I always gave her a cold shoulder.

I snap out of my flashback, waiting for her to answer me.

"Khun oppa..." She whispered something, but I can't hear it.

"Yoona, can you speak louder?"

"I'm 4 weeks pregnant, Khun oppa, and it's your child."

What? I can't believe what she said. No. She can't be pregnant.

She took out something from her bag and put it in my hands. It's a pregnancy test kit. I looked at it, and saw the two lines that I'm afraid of.

So it's true. She's pregnant. And I really have with her. All this time when I thought we hadn't even though there's lots of proof that state we did, but I refuse to think that I did.

I close my eyes, unable to take in the news.

"What should we do, oppa?" Yoona said, and I can hear some sobs. I open my eyes and was quite surprised to see her cry. My hands automatically pull her in for a hug.

"Let's get married."

***

When I went back, pack up my stuffs and broke the news to her, I can see that I hurt her, really, really deep. I wanted to walk towards her, hug her, wipe away her tears, telling her that it was just a joke that I was playing with her, but I clearly know that it's not.

I left and went back to my parent's place. They were surprised when they saw me there, with my luggage. They asked me what happened, and I cried in front of them. I told them everything. There was a moment of silence when I broke the news to them, and Krystal was the first one to react. She scolded me, but also comforted me in her own way. She knows I love Qian a lot, too. As for my parents, they just said that even though I hurt her and I'm hurting myself, but they said I made the right choice, where I am willing to take the responsibility. I know they were disappointed in me. I know they love Qian too. But what's done, is done. I'm the one who let myself fall in this situation.

The next day, I know she have lessons that day, and I don't, but I just went to school very early. I wanted to see her, even if she's faraway. I'm not even sure if she'll be here, but I kept waiting.

I saw Chansung's car drive in, and him and Qian came out from his car. I can see she's not her usual cheerful self anymore. They talked a little before she walked towards her class.

I followed her in a distance, and she stopped when Yoona, Yuri and Sunny called her. When Yoona gave her the wedding invitation which was prepared by her mom, I really wanted to walk towards her, take the invitation and throw it away. Yoona can't do this to her. She can't just pass her the invitation happily while she knows because of us that I broke up and hurt Qian. But I can't stop her. Because mainly, it's my fault.

I walked away, can't bear to see her in this state.

I went to the basketball court, and saw Chansung, playing it vigorously. I just sat on the bench.

"Hey. You're early." He said as he walks towards me. I nod. He took a seat beside me. We stayed silent for quite a while. I decided to break the silence between us.

"Is she... Okay?" I ask, wanting to know about her.

"Not okay." He answered.

"I'm sorry." I said to him. I have to. I knew he likes her too, but he didn't confess to her because of me. He knows I like her too, and he decided not to confess. He thinks I deserve her, but now, he's wrong. I don't deserve her.

"Please, help me, take good care of her." I said, pleadingly, and left.

"Where are you going?" He asks before I could step out.

"I'm not staying for training. I don't think she wants to see me." I answered, knowing very well that she would walk pass here after her lesson while we're training.

***

I lock myself in my old room at my parent's place till the next afternoon. I don't want my parents and Krystal giving disappointed and worried looks at me. I waited for all of them to go out, then I decided to go to a pub and drink.

Which led me to meeting Junho and Jun.K here.

They were here when I came for a drink, accompanying me, but now they are trying to stop me. I continue sobbing.

I took the drink from them when they loosen the grip on the drink. I gulp it down. Next, my vision started to become blurry, and I saw Qian, crying endlessly.

"Qian..."

"Khun! Enough! Let's get you back."

***

I woke up with a major headache when I feel someone pulling me up. I open my eyes, it was my Mom. "Khun, wake up! You have to go to your graduation ceremony!"

"I'm not going. I can't see her. I can't face her."

"Khun..." She called, but I just sat on my bed, closing my eyes, putting my hands over my forehead, trying to ease the headache. Then I heard the door close, she must have left. I lie back down on my bed, trying to ease the headache.

The door was opened harshly after a few minutes. Taec came in and pull me up. “What are you-?”

“Qian’s leaving! Quick! We have to get to the airport! We have to stop her!”

Leaving?! So she made her decision, just like I made mine.

“She’s leaving, I’m now in no position to stop her. I leave her first, remember?” I said, knowing I sound like a jerk now.

“Get her back then!”

“I can’t! I got Yoona! I’m marrying her!” I said, and Taec went silent for a while. Yes, I now got Yoona, I can’t just leave her and get Qian back. It’s my responsibilities to be with Yoona.

“I guess there’s something that you should know.” He said, and the next sentence that follows after this shocks me. “Yoona is pregnant, but it’s not your child. It’s mine.”

What he just said, is like a bomb to me. I feel deceived, I feel hurt, I feel angry. “What? How can you be so sure?”

He takes a big breath before continuing, “Can I explain to you later? Can you just leave to the airport now? If our conversation goes on, you might not be able to stop-” Before he can finish his sentence, I quickly take my coat and car keys and run out of the house.

If Taec is right, I can’t let Qian leave me.

Please, please give me another chance to be with her. I prayed in my mind, hoping it will come true.

***

I ran terminal to terminal, looking around the departure gates while trying to call through her cell phone, hoping that I’m not too late. As I ran to the last departure gate, I began to lose hope. She must have left.

I’m too late.

Refusing to believe that she really left, I rush back to my car, and drive to the apartment.

***

She really left.

The apartment is empty, really empty. Her things are gone. The only things left are all the furniture.

I sat down on the couch and started crying.

I heard the sound of the door opening and quickly wipe my tears away.

I look to the door, and saw Taec walking through it. "Khun! You know how dangerous it is? Driving like that? You could have killed yourself!"

Instead of answering him, I ignored him and ask, "Care to explain the situation?"

He sighs and made himself comfortable on the couch in front of me. Then he started to tell me the situation. "You didn't have with her, because I'm the one who took her ity. It happened after that night you 'think' you had with her."

What? What is he saying? Did I hear it correctly?

"How do you know?"

"Because I confronted her today, and she told me. You can ask her yourself."

"Then why did she lie to me? And since you know, why didn't you do anything?! Why did you let us fall in this kind of situation?!" I ask, able to feel my anger rising up.

"Because she likes you, and I like her- No, I love her. I'm sorry, Khun. I didn't know that I was tricked by her to sleep with her. I thought she liked me. It was when you two told all of us the news, I know I was being used. I was angry, i wanted to confront her, but the moment when I saw her so happy with getting married to you, I know I can't take away her happiness, because I love her."

"Then why do you decide to tell me now?" This time, I ask calmly. I understand his decision, I understand how he feel, but I still can't accept that I was being lied to.

"Because I saw how devastated you are. Qian, too. I know I can't stay in the same spot and do nothing anymore. Khun, I'm really sorry."

I close my eyes, still trying to accept everything he just told me. "But how could Yoona have tell you all these? If she's so determined in being with me, she won't-" I was cut by Taec when he drops another bomb on me.

***

A/N:

Here's the last update of 2013.

Thanks to those who subscribe and upvote this story! :D

I haven't read through this chapter yet, so there may be some errors and some editing later on.

Encouraging comments are appreciated!

Happy New Year!

HottestPudding signing off xoxo