I’m standing outside the café, seeing her working so hard, serving desserts and drinks on the counter. I can see her through the set of glass windows, but I think she’s busy to even notice me. I put my hands on the door handle, decided to go in and talk to her.

“Welcome-” She stops greeting after she saw me. I guess she must be surprised, but her surprise is just for a while. “Welcome to The Coffee House, may I get your order?”

She speaks like she doesn’t know me, and I’m not surprised. I open my mouth to speak. “Can I have an iced mocha Frappuccino?”

“That will be ¥590. Please wait for a moment for your order, thank you.” She said, and she went to make my order. After she’s done, she gave me my coffee and I pay for it. Then I find some corner to sit, where I can always see her while she’s working.

I know her shift is until 4PM, and she will have to fetch Kayden at 4:30PM. And now, it’s only 3PM. I will have to stay here for an hour before I can approach her, to talk to her.

I was here, with a plan that I hope she will approach me after her shift, showing her anger and asking why I am here, but I was wrong. It’s 4PM, and she just walked out, without even looking at me.

I went after her, stopping her from walking by holding onto her wrist. She stopped, but didn’t turn back. She knows it’s me.

“Let go.” She said, in Korean, still not looking at me. I just stay still, not letting go, and not saying anything.

“Let go.” She said again after she turned around and looked at me. I look at her expressionless face, and let go of her wrist. “Can we talk? Please?” I asked, before she turned around and walk away. She didn’t speak, or move. I don’t know what she’s going to say, because I must be the person that she doesn’t want to see the most since 5 years ago.

“We don’t have anything to talk about.” That’s all she said, and turned around and walked away.

Before she walked further, I said something that I think it’s selfish of me.

“I want to see him. I want to see my son, Kayden.”

***

I waited at the park near the Child Care Centre for Qian, and Kayden. She has agreed on letting me see him, but she will bring him here, and ask me to wait for them.

I heard footsteps, and my eyes automatically went to the sound of the footsteps. Qian is holding onto Kayden’s hand and they are walking towards me.

“Kayden, call Nichkhun Ajusshi.” She says, and Kayden greeted me next. “Hello Nichkhun Ajusshi.”

“Hi Kayden.” I said and smile. He’s really obedient, and behaves well. Qian have taught him well. I look at the ball on his hands, “Do you want to play with me?” I asked as I point to the ball he is holding. He holds out the ball to me, and I took it. I look at Qian, waiting for her to give permission for us to play. She nods, and I take Kayden’s hand and proceed to play on the big field in front of us.

We stopped playing when the sky is getting dark. I look around, and Qian is nowhere to be seen. I bring Kayden to the picnic table where I waited for them earlier. I settled him down, and took my phone out to call Qian.

 When I unlock my phone, I realised that I don’t have her number. I asked Kayden, and he punched in the numbers for me. He’s just 4 years old, and he memorised her number. He must be very smart.

He passed me back my phone after he keys in the number. Before I could press the call button, Kayden call out loud, “Omma!” I turned to where he’d called, and saw Qian approaching us with some paper bags.

“I bought dinner. Let’s eat.” She said and took out a bento and put in front of him. Then she took another bento out and put it in front of me. I was surprised that she would buy one for me.

“I hope you don’t mind what I bought.” She said, and I just shook my head. I would never mind what she bought for me.

I opened up, and gotten myself a second surprise. It was my favourite, omelette rice with shrimp fritters. I feel happy, that she remembers. My eyes are getting wet, and I quickly wipe away before she can see.

After we have our dinner, we decided to bid goodbye. I hail a cab for them, knowing that she does not have a car and does not know how to drive, and Changmin is not in town and will not be bringing them home, which she had said earlier when I asked.

We bid goodbye, with Kayden’s enthusiasm and Qian’s still giving me her cold, stranger tone. But still, I’m happy that I can spend some time with them, even if it’s just a little while.

***

Earlier, at Child Care Centre

We stood outside the Child Care Centre, and he starts speaking.

“Seeing you yesterday, I realise that you still love her.” I nod, and he continues.

“Do you think coming here to find her will bring her back to you?” He asks, and I don’t know how I should answer.

“Do you know, that she’s hurt deeply, have gone under a lot of pressure, because of you?” He said, and I was surprised. Surprised because of what he said, and surprised that he can remained calm. But I remained speechless. He continued telling me what she had gone through, and I realise that I could have hurt her more if I came and bother her.

“I’m sorry that I have bothered her. I will not come here again.” I said, not wanting to bother her, or them, again.

“What are you saying?” His question gave me confusion. “I want to see her happy, and I want you to give her happiness.” He said.

“I can’t. After what you said, I realised that I should not have come.”

“I’m sure you can. Besides, there’s Kayden, your son. Are you going to leave him behind, too? Do you want him to have no father?”

“You are his father now.” I said, and he shook his head. “I’m just his godfather.”

“But still, I don’t think I can-”

 “Are you going to be a coward and just let everything be?” He said, this time, his voice rising.

“Just to let you know, she works at The Coffee Shop 3 streets away, and her shift is from 11AM to 4PM. I have to go now, I have a plane to catch. Goodbye, Nichkhun.”

After he left, I walk around the area, thinking what I should do. Go after her? Or leave her alone?

I stopped my steps, and realised that I am outside The Coffee House now.

***

Earlier, outside The Coffee House

“No.” She said, which I have guessed.

“I know you would say that, but don’t forget, I know which Child Care Centre he goes. I can always go and find him if I want.” I said, and know I’m being cruel here. But I have made up my mind, and with Changmin’s words, which I think that he’s trying to encourage me. I decided that I will bring her back, no matter what, even if it’s being cruel at first.

She has not spoken for a few seconds now. I decide to continue, “And I’ll tell him that I’m his father.”

“You’re a jerk!” She said, and I just remain calm. She said I’m a jerk. I know that. I’m a jerk since 5 years ago.

“Fine! I’ll let you see him, with one condition. You should not tell him that you are his father.” She said. I’m hurt that she does not want my son to know that I’m the father, but I know this hurt cannot be compared to what she had gone through these 5 years.

I agreed, and she promised that she will bring him to the park near the Child Care Centre when she fetches him from there.

At least now, I’m closer to them.

***

A/N:

It's been half a month since I updated.

Sorry for the late update.

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