I walk out of the campus, wanting to go home. It’s 5PM, and I know this time, the guys will be at the basketball court. They always have trainings during this time. Chansung has sent me a text message earlier saying he wanted to bring me home, but I don’t want him to. To avoid him, I left the campus at this time when he is busy with his match.

“Qian, where are you going?” The familiar voice from behind stops me from walking. I heard his footsteps coming closer and stood right in front of me. I didn’t look at him.

“Didn’t I tell you to wait for me? I’ll send you home.” He said, holding on my wrist and pulls me to walk to his car. I wriggle my hand out of his grasps.

“Chansung, stop.” I said after I’m out of his grasps. “Don’t treat me so well.” I turn around and walk away from him. I was about to turn a corner when he shouted something that got me surprised.

“I like you Qian!” He shouted, and I stop in my tracks. No. He can’t like me. He stood in front of me and repeated what he had shouted. “I like you. Can’t you see?”

I don’t know what to say. He can’t like me. He can’t.

“Can’t you like me?”

“I…” He’s a good guy, but I can’t like him. I just can’t.

“I’m sorry, Chansung. My heart has broken into pieces, and it can’t be mended anymore. You’re a good guy, and I hope you’ll find a better girl than me.” I said and left.

***

I laid myself on the couch, looking at the blank screen of the TV. I heard someone opening the door, but I just remain the same position, not wanting to turn to look at the person that just came in. I know there are only a few people that would come.

“Unnie, I know you won’t eat, so I brought food for you.” Krystal said as she put the bags in front of me, on the coffee table. She tries to pull me up using her full strength, and I just let her do whatever she want to do with me. When I was in my sitting position, she takes out a box of fried rice and put it in my hands.

“Unnie, please eat.” She said when she saw me not moving an inch. I just look at the fried rice.

“Unnie.” She said again, and I just remain the same.

“Unnie, why are you treating yourself like this? Khun oppa is the one who is wrong, not you. He’s the one who’s been unfaithful to you, so you should be angry at him, not staying like this as if you’re dead. You can’t show him that he has affected you so much, when he’s been unfaithful to you. He’s not worth it. You should be strong, show him you can get over him.”

Her cell phone rang. She took out her cell phone and went to a corner to answer the call. I think back to what she said.

Yes, she’s right. He’s the one at fault. He’s the one who has been unfaithful to me. I can’t let him affect me. I should be strong. I should hate him. I can’t let this unfaithful man affect me. He’s not worth it.

Who am I kidding with? How can I? I love him. I love him a lot. It just can’t get out of my mind, my heart.

Try to forget him. Try to be strong. Something in myself said to me. It’s convincing, and I’m listening to it.

I take the spoon and started eating the fried rice that Krystal brought here.

I’ll forget him. I will.

***

I woke up feeling nauseous and dizzy. I sit up straight, hoping the dizziness and nauseous feeling will go away, but it didn’t. It makes me feel more dizzy and nauseous. I ran straight to the toilet, feeling that something is coming up from my stomach, to my throat. Holding onto the toilet bowl, hoping that I would throw up, but it didn’t. I keep holding on to it, waiting for the nauseous feeling to go away, and after a while, it did. I stand up and started washing myself up.

I look at the mirror, looking at myself. I look worse, more badly when my parents left me. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

I’m alone now, alone in this world. I should have depended on myself. I shouldn’t have trust Khun. I shouldn’t have believed that our love would be strong, that we’ll always be together, that he’ll always be by my side.

You can’t let him affect you. The voice said.

Yes, I can’t. I told myself. I should put everything in the past. I should start afresh.

I went back to the bedroom and took my cell phone. I dial a number that I never had thought I would dial.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, Qian. I need your help.”

***

“Where are you going?”

I looked up to see who’s the one speaking. I was surprised to see him here.

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Where?” He asked, but I just continue packing my stuffs.

I heard him sigh, and he asks, “When?”

“Tomorrow.” I answered simply.

“Tomorrow? But it’s graduation!”

“I’m not attending.”

“Why?!”

“You clearly know why.” I said. I close the luggage and locked it. Standing up, I feel the rush of dizziness in my head.

“Qian!” That’s the last thing I’ve before everything went black.

***

When I woke up, I’m already in the hospital. I look around the ward room, and saw him sitting on the couch, reading. I sit up straight and call him.

“Taec.”

“Qian, you’re awake!”

“Why am I here?” I asked, though I know why. I had a blackout earlier, I remember.

“You fainted.” He answered, and stops continuing what he wanted to say next.

“Am I sick?” I asked, wanting to know why I fainted.

He scratches his head, like he’s thinking whether he’s supposed to tell me or not. “What I’m going to tell you next may be a surprise to you, but please, please don’t get emotional.” He said. What he said has worried myself, but I have to remain calm, like what he said. I nod.

“The doctor said it’s normal for you to faint, because you’re pregnant.” He said and closed his eyes after that. I do not know how to feel now. Should I be happy? Should I be sad? Should I be angry?

I started to laugh at myself. This is my fate, I guess, my cruel fate. I have his baby when he left me for another girl, who is pregnant, too. What have I done to deserve such fate?

“Qian, are you alright?” Taec asked, I guess he’s confused to why I am laughing.

“Yes, I’m alright, perfectly alright.” I answered, sarcastically. I’m not alright. I’m not.

“Do you want to tell Khun-”

“No!” I answered, or rather, I shouted. I can’t let him know that I’m pregnant with his child, too.

“But he’s the father!”

“And he’s getting married.” I said to Taec, hoping it would shut him up, stopping him to have any ideas of letting Khun know.

“Taec, can I go back, now?”

***

A/N:

Here's chapter 5!

Sorry for the awful long wait.

Hope there are still readers out there reading this.

If there are, thank you for reading!

Encouraging comments are appreciated.

HottestPudding signing off xoxo