Song Qian

My cell phone keeps on ringing, but I don't have the strength to pick it up. I just stayed in my position, beside the bed. My cell phone stops ringing, and after a second, it rings again. It's been going on like this for hours, and I know the calls must be from Krystal, or Chansung.

The phone stops ringing again, and this time, it stops ringing for minutes. Maybe the battery's flat, I don't know. Because it stops ringing, the whole room became quiet, too quiet that it makes me feel lonely. It's true though, I'm now alone, all by myself.

I think back to the things that happened earlier, when he broke the news to me. I wanted to cry, but I can't, knowing the reason why he's leaving.

I wanted to ask him when did it happened. I wanted to ask him whether he did love me. But I just stood there, letting him leave.

I was startled when the bedroom door opened harshly. I looked up and saw 3 pairs of eyes looking down at me. All of them rush towards and bend down to me.

"Unnie!" Krystal called out, and then she started crying. I was surprised that she's crying, but I know why. "I'm sorry, unnie. I'm sorry that oppa did such terrible things. Sorry..."

Junho pulled her to him, and he let her to cry in his arms. I reach out my hands to her, holding onto her hands. "Hey. It's not your fault." I said, but it sounds more like a whisper. Her sobs subsided and she looks back at me. "But..." I shook my head slightly, stopping her from continuing.

"Qian." Chansung called out as he put his arms around me. We just stayed silent for minutes. After he pulls away, he pulled me up and sat me down on the bed. He nods at Krystal, and she went out with Junho, leaving me and him in this room.

"Qian. Don't put a strong front. I know you're devastated. Just cry. It'll make you better."

He wanted me to cry, thinking that it'll make me feel better. But I can't. The reason of the break up hurts me, deep, but I can't seem to cry. It's like, someone has out all of my energy, that I do not even have the energy to cry.

Krystal and Junho came back with a tray of food. They put it on the bedside table, just beside me. Krystal takes the bowl of porridge and pass it to me, but I didn't take it. I do not have the appetite to eat. Then all of them started pleading, pleading me to eat. I just remain silent. Then Chansung grab the bowl from Krystal, take a spoon of porridge and put it in front of my mouth. "I'm going to force it into your mouth even if you refuse. Do you want to eat it yourself, or by force?"

He got my attention. I look up at him. He's serious. I took the bowl from him, took a spoon of porridge, and put it in my mouth. "Careful! It's hot!" Chansung said. It's hot, yes. And I can feel the scalding pain on my tongue, but it doesn't really hurt me. I take another spoon of porridge into my mouth. It's adding more pain on my tongue, and a tear flows down from my eye. Chansung grab the bowl from me and started to shout at me.

"Qian! Why won't you listen! I told you it’s hot!" I just looked down, not wanting to look at him, at them.

"Oppa, don't shout at her." "Chansung, don't. She's having a hard time."

I heard a sigh after. Then I heard the sound of the bowl and spoon clinking. "Qian... I'm sorry. Here, eat this." I heard Chansung said, and saw a spoon of porridge in front of me. I didn't eat it. He took the spoon back. "I'll leave the porridge here. We'll give you some time alone." He said and then I heard the door closing afterwards.

Now I'm alone, again. I turn to the bedside table, and saw the bowl of porridge there. I'm suddenly reminded of him.

-Flashback-

"Sweetheart, eat this." Khun said, and help me sit up on the bed. He took the bowl of porridge on the bedside table, took a spoon of porridge, blow it, and feed it to me. I ate it and smile at him.

"Did you prepare it?" I asked.

"Yes. Gotten the recipe from Mom earlier. Here." I opened my mouth and let him feed me another spoon of porridge. I smiled at him, but he frowns.                                             

"Why are you smiling? I'm still angry you know." He said, and I stop smiling immediately. He feeds me another spoon of porridge, but I didn't open my mouth, and turn my head to the side. "Qian." He called and turned my head towards him, then took the spoon again and feed me. I still close my mouth, tight.

"If you don't eat I'm going to get more angry." He said, like a threat. He knows I don't like to make people mad, and he's using my weak point against me. "You're al-" He stuffed the spoon into my mouth before I could finish my sentence. I have no choice but to eat it. "If you're not so stupid to stay in the rain."

"I'm not stupid." I counter back after I swallow the porridge. It's not my fault that I wanted to see him and the guys basketball match at the outdoor basketball court. It's just that the sky started pouring when the match left about 7 minutes. "I just wanted to see you, watch your match, cheer for you, and you don't appreciate it."

"I appreciate it, a lot, but you should take good care of yourself. You should have ran to the shelters with the others."

"I can't, when you're still there. You yourself are also soaked in the rain." I say, and whisper the last line. I'm afraid that the last line might start an argument with him.

"But you're the one who is having fever, not me." He said, countering my last line. He heard what I whispered. I do not know what to say anymore. He's right, we're both soaked in the rain, but I'm the one who is sick. I look down at my fingers, playing with it. I apologise to him. "Sorry. Sorry for making you mad, sorry for troubling you to take care of me."

"Hey..." He tip up my chin so that I'm looking at him. "Alright, I'm not mad at you anymore. And you did not trouble me in taking care of you. I love taking care of you. It's just... I don't want you to get sick, suffering from the stupid fever. I don't like it when you're sick. I'll rather it be me." The things he said made me smile. This time he smiles back. "Loving your smile, my dear." He said, which made my smile wider. He continues to feed me, and I gladly ate it.

"Will you always take care of me like this whenever I'm sick?" I asked. His face immediately becomes serious. I guess I shouldn't have asked that question.                                                                                            

"Yes. I'll always take care of you, sick, healthy, happy, sad, but I don't want you sick. Remember that."

-End of Flashback-   

I took the bowl of porridge and started eating. My tears fell uncontrollably.

I'm sad, heartbroken, shattered... but you're not here to take care of me.

***

I walk out of the bedroom with the empty bowl in my hand. All of them are sitting in the dining area, talking. Junho saw me first, since he was sitting on the seat that was facing the bedroom door. "Qian." He called out, then Krystal and Chansung turn towards me. I walk towards them, but Chansung is much faster. He came to me and took the bowl from me. "It's great that you ate all. Even though it takes an hour." He says, and mumble the last line, but I'm able to catch it. "Come, sit. I'll go wash the bowl." He pulls me towards the dining area, pull a seat out for me. He walked to the kitchen after I'm seated down.

We've remained silent. No one starting a conversation. I saw Krystal nudging Junho, but Junho just gave her a confused look.

"Um... How do you guys come in?" I asked them, although I know there can be only one answer.

"Khun oppa gave the security pin to   us." Krystal says, each words getting softer and softer. I just nod at her.

"I'm sorry unnie, sorry that Khun oppa-"

"I know. Don't need. I told you earlier, it's not your fault."

Chansung came out, and seated himself beside me. Then he asks me a question that I didn't thought of. "Did you know... the girl?" Krystal kicked him under the table, I can feel it, and Junho just glare at Chansung. From their reaction, I guess they must have known who the girl is. I shook my head.

"Do you want to know?" He asked, and the same thing happened again. Krystal kicked him and Junho gave him a glare.

His question makes me think. Do I want to know? They knew who the girl is, but it seems that Krystal and Junho doesn't want me to know. And it makes me curious, curious why he... I nod my head.

"It's-"

"Wait!" Krystal shouted, cutting Chansung's words. I turn to look at Krystal. "Unnie... just... do you really want to know? Are you ready to know?" She asked. I nodded without hesitation. I'll rather know it from them rather finding out myself when, by any chance, saw them together.

"Alright..." She says, and telling Chansung to continue. Chansung turned to me, and tell me the most shocking name, ever.

"It's Yoona."

***

A/N:

Hey, sorry for not updating this for like half a year. 

I have promised to upload the first chapter when I have finished writing this story.

I have finished it a few months ago, but sadly, my laptop crashed, and I can't retrieve all my previous files in the laptop.

So now I've been rewriting it, and it's a little different from what I have written it previously.

It's not yet finished, but I'll try to update whenever I've done writing a chapter, and since I already finished it before, I guess I could rewrite what I have written before, if I could remember.

And also, I've changed the main characters. Previously I put Khuntoria with Taecyeon and Krystal. Now I'm not sure whether I should put Taecyeon and Krystal as the main characters, as I have changed some parts of the story. I'll just stick with Khuntoria first.

Anyway, just enjoy reading this chapter! 

Best wishes from HottestPudding :)