She wasn't a ert... At least she thought she wasn't... However, there was no denying that she was staring shamelessly at the teacher's legs while the woman walked around the class, busily explaining something about all those numbers on the blackboard. It was hypnotic how those legs tensed with each step and then relaxed when the teacher stood still, facing some other student. Her lips tingled, her feet were tapping against the floor in a incessant rhythm, she felt as if she was hit by a lightning. The sound of the clock annoyed her as it warned her about the remaining minutes of math class. She didn't want it to end, she didn't want to face SooYoung once the bell rang, because she knew that she'd have questions thrown at her face once they were alone.

A sigh left her parted lips as she diverted her gaze from the teacher's stunning legs to her bestfriend's darkened expression. She saw the girl furiously scribbling something beside mathematical accounts and then shoving the notebook on Sunny's desk, without even sparing a glance at the older girl. The latter frowned, glancing back and forth between the notebook and SooYoung. She knew that there was some foul words written on there, yet, she didn't know why they were directed to her. She pursed her lips, glancing once again at the paper laying on top of her desk.

What the actual FCK is wrong with you?! U are shamelessly staring at the teacher's , srsly? R u freaking insane? Stop being so fcking obvious! I'm getting srsly annoyed at ur stupid antics towards that Kim Taeyeon teacher!

Sunny frowned, trying to ignore the small fire that was lit on the pit of her stomach. She felt bothered by what the other had written, especially because it was written in such a foul language, a language which wasn't common to her SooYoung. Ever since the very start of their friendship she'd never seen the girl direct such harsh words to her, instead, she would be showered with eulogies, praises and simpathy. Maybe - no - she was sure that SooYoung had changed, she wasn't that bubbly and crazy girl. The friend she once knew was gone, letting this fragile and angered person in her place. 

The feeling of being rejected, Sunny knew it all too well, it could change even the nicest person. It could make a good heart fill itself with hatred until it wasn't able to hold on anymore and would end up bursting, just like she did. However, once her heart burst, she drowned herself in alcohol, foul words, and mostly, depression. SooYoung wasn't like that, she was never the one to face it alone, she would always seek for someone else, but the only person who stood there for her was Sunny, the one and only cause of the heartache. It was like a double-edged sword, she would always hurt herself more and more. The girl sighed heavily, trying to push those thoughts to the back of her head, her gaze once again flickering towards SooYoung's direction one more time before she lowered her eyes to the paper as she wrote her reply.

I love you too :) And I'm sorry, I promise I'll only look at your or the floor.

She passed the paper back to it's owner, her eyes never leaving the incessant tap of SooYoung's slender fingers on the desk, signaling a rather impacient girl. She wanted to make it better for both of them, her deepest desire was to see that thousand watt smile on the taller's lips and that old happy gleam back in her eyes, but she knew it was one of the hardest things to ask for. SooYoung was hurt just like Sunny once was, if not more, but, instead of displaying it for everyone to see, she hid it behind her cold behavior. Like the good friend, Sunny noticed, tried to do something, but it only resulted in her getting pushed away.

It ached, her heart screamed for mercy, her head was being torn in two divergent pieces. She wanted to wrap herself in TaeYeon's arms, the same way she once did to SooYoung. That laugh made her smile, just like SooYoung's. The voice... It had the power to calm her down, to soothe her, to tame even her wildest burst. SooYoung could do that too just by only saying 'I'm here'.

Then why, why couldn't she see SooYoung as more than a friend? Why couldn't she just surrender to those lovely words and stares? Why couldn't she give up of the doomed, troubled relationship she could have with TaeYeon one day?

A taboo. 

If she ever dared herself to engage something with SooYoung, it would still be a taboo for the society. However, it was less trouble than being in a relationship with an older woman, her own teacher. Call her stupid, selfish, idiot, she wanted to have both of them. She didn't allow herself to let go of SooYoung's nor TaeYeon's heart for she was afraid of losing one of them or worse, both of them. SooYoung was her private fortress, she couldn't afford to lose the most precious girl she'd ever met. It would hurt her... It was already hurting her deeply, like someone was slowly pushing a knife deeper and deeper in her chest, forcing her to watch it happen, but not giving her the chance to stop it. Her hands were tied, she was forced to go with the flow, watching as her dearest friend screamed silently for recognition.

Cruel. Sunny felt as the worst person in earth. Powerless. SooYoung didn't let her approach as before. Numb. Her heart failed to beat, her breath came to a halt whenever she was near her bestfriend, observing the pained expression. She felt nothing but disgust at herself for playing around with SooYoung's feelings, making the girl feel like Sunny once felt. She was sure that the younger felt abandoned and worthless, as if she wasn't good enough to deserve one's love. It wasn't true. Sunny knew that the girl beside her was special, one of a kind, hard to find, but she just didn't know how to demonstrate it without sounding flirty nor loveable. The last thing she wanted to do was to confuse the girl and herself even more. Save for those kisses, she tried her best at keeping a certain distance from the taller, always avoiding intimate hugs and kisses on the cheek or crown of the head. SooYoung noticed it, of course she did, but her smile never faltered. After all, she had given up and finally handed her bestfriend to TaeYeon.

"Is everything alright?" The taller girl asked, masking her sadness with a small smile as she caressed Sunny's hand. The latter snapped to reality, her gaze getting momentarily lost within SooYoung's eyes as she tried to form an answer. They were alone in the classroom, TaeYeon's belongings weren't on the table, every other student had already left. Sunny deduced that she's been spacing out for very long, long enough to lag behind others. Her eyes went back to SooYoung's tired ones.

"I was thinking too much, I guess.." Sunny mindlessly replied, letting her gaze trail down from SooYoung's eyes to her tensed jaw.  It was awkward. Everything in between them had become awkward ever since the day the taller burst those 3 words to her friend. Skinship was pratically none, making it even more obvious for outsiders to see the strange quarrel in their relationship. SooYoung could barely look into Sunny's eyes for more than a couple of seconds or less, always ending up looking away while faking a cough. It hurt both of them, but it was unfortunately needed for the time being.

"You said you wanted to go to my house, right?" SooYoung mumbled, adjusting the bag on her shoulder as she casually looked at the door, not bothering to look into Sunny's eyes for another second for she was sure her unsettled state of mind had caught the older's attention. Sunny, however, only nodded her head whilst getting up and catching her bag in the process. They stood in front of each other, it was silent for a couple of minutes while one waited for the other to speak whatever came to mind as long as it could break the tense atmosphere that settled upon them.

Sunny cleared , making her way towards the classroom's door, but still not forgetting to slip her hand in SooYoung's free one, grasping it tightly as she pulled the other to walk along, ignoring the sudden stiffness that affected the younger's body. Her grip was demanding, challenging the other to pull her hand away from the warm and soft place it was in, but SooYoung gave no thought. Soothing, yet uncomfortable, she missed the feeling of interlacing her fingers with the shorter or the tingle in her stomach whenever Sunny ran a thumb on top of her hand. Althought they were caught in that so-called fight, she couldn't help herself but to wonder what would she feel once she wrapped her arms around the smaller body and pressed her chin on the crown of the girl's head. She would surely be found in delight, floating on cloud nine as she took deep breath to inhale the most she could of Sunny's perfume. 

Crazy in love. She had given up of the other for love. She'd seen how the teacher would look at her bestfriend's face, denial written all over TaeYeon's troubled features, but the woman couldn't sit still and would always smile and offer help even if not needed. At first, SooYoung thought that it was a mere trick of her mind, however, it was clear for anyone to see. Sunny hated the teacher's fiancée while the woman seemed uncomfortable whenever the man appeared out of nowhere, courting her with his charms, money and handsome smiles. A choir of ooh's would rise from those dreamer girls, who gawked at the man shamelessly, wondering when they would catch someone like him. It wasn't the case for Sunny. Roll her eyes, sigh, groan, hit the desk three times in a row, curse under her breath. It