I rested my head on the pillow as I looked up to the ceiling. Another sleepless night. I sighed as I rolled onto my side again. I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon so I kicked off the covers and grabbed my duvet as I walked out onto my balcony. A small smile grace my face as I remembered someone but it disappeared when I remembered that he wouldn’t remember me. I was just another girl to him but to me he was my saviour. He was the person I was waiting for my whole life but he’s gone. I knew where he was and he close to me. I could run to him if I wanted to but he wouldn’t remember me. One night was all it took for you to leave an imprint in my heart Kim Myungsoo.

It was her birthday, yet here she was crying in the rain. Back at her house, her friends and her brother had thrown her a party but she had run out before they could begin to cut the cake. It hurt too much for her.

She tears fell down her pale face along with the rain, which was soaking her. She didn’t care; she just couldn’t go back in there. Haeyee didn’t knowhow her brother could smile on a day like this. Alongside her birthday was the anniversary of their parents’ death. Haeyee couldn’t celebrate her birthday and be happy on a day like this. It had been this way for 10 years. Every year Haeyee would always isolate herself from her brother and her friends. Every year she would run back to the place where she witnessed the accident and sob and they would let her. They knew that if they tried to convince her to go back home she would refuse and put up a fight. It would have ended badly.

Haeyee suddenly felt the rain stop. She looked up to see a boy holding an umbrella above her head. She frowned and walked away from it but he followed her. Annoyed, she halted and spun around on the balls of her feet.

“What do you want?” she screeched at him in annoyance. He didn’t even flinch at her tone like most people would, instead he remained calm and still.

“You shouldn’t be outside in the rain,” he told her nonchalantly.

“I don’t care. Just leave me alone,” she yelled at him and began to walk off but he held onto her wrist and pulled her back with force. He tilted his head as he studied her eyes.

“You’re upset,” he stated.

Haeyee stayed quiet and peeled his hand off her wrist before walking again. Seconds later she heard his heavier footsteps following behind her and the shelter of the umbrella was over her head again. She gritted her teeth and walked faster but he caught up fairly soon due to his longer legs.

“I can’t stand it. You’re going to get a cold and I’ll feel responsible. Come on let’s take you back to get you dry. Even if you object I’m dragging you there,” he told her and pulled on her wrist and dragged her back to his place.

Thankfully, no one was there so it meant he wouldn’t be questioned. He didn’t really want to explain how he had picked this girl off the street without knowing her name and age or whether she was a fan of them or not. Presumably, she wasn’t since there was no recognition in her eyes when he had approached her.

“Go and shower. There are clean towels in the cupboard. I’ve left a set of clothes of mine on the counter top in there. They might be a bit big but that’s all I’ve got,” he told her as he pointed to the bathroom door.

She nodded and went into the bathroom. She didn’t even know why she had followed this person to his place. It was so unlike her to do something like that but something in her brain told her he was safe and she could feel it. Despite his awkwardness, she knew he had good intentions. She couldn’t explain how she knew, she just did. It had something to do with the aura that he had.

Haeyee stepped under the flowing hot water. Warmth. She didn’t understand why this person was being so nice to her when she was so rude to him. She didn’t mean to be mean to him. She just did wanted to be alone to morn her parents’ death. She let out a quiet sob as she thought about her parents. It’s been so long since they’ve passed away. It was something that could have been avoided as well. If only that person hadn’t been drinking that night then maybe they would have still been alive. Soon, she couldn’t stop the sobs that were escaping . She leaned against the cold tiles and let the water flow over her body as she cried.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” he asked through the door. She hastily wiped her tears and cleared .

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a moment,” she answered back as she turned off the water and wiped herself dry.

“I’ve made some hot –” he stopped in mid sentence when he saw her blood shot eyes. “Have you been crying? I’m not that horrible am I? Or is it because you don’t like tea? What have I done to upset you? Tell me please,” he rambled on in a panic attack. Haeyee laughed lightly and took the cup from his hand.

“It’s nothing,” she brushed off the topic but he didn’t look convinced.

“Oh yeah, I’m Myungsoo,” he introduced himself with a slight smile.

“Haeyee,” she mumbled quietly as she held the warm cup in her hands.

She brought the cup to her lips and sipped the liquid gently. She felt the tears coming back again. It was exactly the way she liked it and the only people who could make it that way was her parents. Even her brother couldn’t get it perfect; he either put too much sugar in or too much milk, never the right balance.

Myungsoo froze as Haeyee began to cry. He didn’t know what to do. He was never really good with people crying, that was for Sunggyu to sort out. He put down his cup and ran over to her but stopped mid way and ran around the room trying to find the box of tissues. In the process of doing so, he fell flat on his face as he tripped over Sungjong’s shoes. Haeyee hovered over him; he could feel himself heating up from embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” she sniffed, trying to control her tears. He nodded and jumped up from the floor.

He reached over to the tissue box and held it up to her face, “Tissue?”

“I think I might need the whole box,” she tried to joke but ended up in floods of tears again.

Myungsoo placed the tissue box on the floor next to the sofa before leading her to sit down again. Without thinking, she placed her head on his shoulder and sobbed. Momentarily, he stopped and panicked about what he should do. He slowly brought his hand to her back and began to rub it up and down in a soothing manner. It had somewhat helped as she calmed down a little.

“Sorry,” she gave him a tiny, apologetic smile. He smiled back and brushed chestnut brown hair out of her face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked her softly. She shook her head but then thought about it for a second.

“It’s my birthday today…” she told him quietly. She didn’t understand why she had told him that. She just felt this strange comfort around him. It was like she was compelled to tell him her life story.

“Why are you crying then?” he cocked his head to the side and bit his lip trying to figure out why  she was so upset on her birthday. Birthdays were a celebration. A day to be happy.

“My parents’ died on my birthday,” she replied after some time. Her voice was barely audible but he could still make it out. As soon as those words had escaped her lips he felt his heart drop. He didn’t know what to do or to say.

“Sorry,” he breathed. She shook her head.

“They should be here. Today I’m 18. They planned out my 18^th birthday. We would have gone to my favourite places and they told me that they would get me 18 presents and hidden them in my favourite places so I had to find them,” she whispered.

She remembered sitting at her cousin’s 18^th birthday and watching them have a ton of fun. Her mum leaned over to her and planned it out for her. Haeyee still had the piece of paper that had the plan written on it.

“That sounded like it would be a lot of fun,” he told her with a small smile. She nodded. “Wait here.”

She cracked a small smile; she didn’t really have anywhere else to go. It was pouring with rain outside, and she didn’t really want to go back yet. She kind of wanted to stay here with Myungsoo.

He returned back with a guitar. Haeyee eyed him up and down as he sat down on the chair. He strummed the strings and then tightened one or two of them before he began to play properly. A soft, relaxing melody filled Haeyee’s ears as he strummed. She watched him with awe as he played. She didn’t realise how good looking he was. His hair fell perfectly into place, he had a small smile on his face, and his eyes were filled with sincerity and passion. He was too perfect. He soon began to sing; Myungsoo’s voice was not perfect but it was comforting and she could hear the sincerity in his voice, and in a way it was perfect to her.

As he came to the chorus his gaze was fixated on her. He found himself lost in her sad eyes. He wondered what she looked like when she smiled. He bet she was twice as pretty as he thought she was now. He could just picture her glistening eyes.

And can u smile?
I said to leave
I said I'm okay
It seems like I can give nothing but this to you in the end
 

Haeyee was practically speechless when he had finished. She wrapped her arms around him and thanked him. When she pulled away from him he noticed her smile. A genuine smile and he was right. She was much prettier when she smiled, not that she wasn’t when she didn’t smile. She was touched. No one had ever sung for her before and it was her dream to have a guy sing for her and only her.

“I should go,” she mumbled as she flipped open her phone to see dozens of missed calls and messages from her brother. She bit her lip feeling guilty for making him worry.

“It’s late. I’ll walk you home,” he paused to check the time, “And I need to buy you a present.”

As much as Haeyee tried to protest, he didn’t listen. He was stubborn and pretended like he couldn’t hear her so she eventually stopped trying. She actually found his ways cute. He was an unusual character. From his exterior, you would have thought he was a cool person but he was quiet dorky and awkward. She much preferred it that way.

“What do you want?” he asked her as they passed a row of shops. She shrugged.

“Surprise me,” she told him. He sighed and made a face; that was much more work.

“In here,” Haeyee pulled him in, “There’s something I want here. Getting it right is the tricky part,” she giggled as she skipped around the store.

The woman at the cashier raised her eyebrow at the younger girl’s behaviour and then looked at Myungsoo who was staring at her in awe, “Your girlfriend?” she asked. Myungsoo flushed red and told her no before searching for Haeyee’s present.

He searched through the shop before finding the perfect present, or so he thought. It was a fairly large Rilakkuma bear wearing a hat with a guitar.

“Haeyee,” he called out with the bear behind his back. Haeyee walked towards him with an expectant smile. She held out her hands and closed her eyes. She opened the again when she felt a squishy thing being forced into her hand.

“It’s perfect,” she grinned, “I’ll always be reminded of you,” she told him. Surprisingly, her words made his heart skip a beat. It made him happy that there was something to remind her of the time they had spent with each other.

“Will I see you again?” she asked quietly as they were at her door. He frowned.

“Honestly,” he paused and then sighed, “I don’t know, but I hope so.”

“Me too,” she admitted. As she was about to go in she turned around again to see Myungsoo still standing there, watching her. “You made me smile today. No one had down that on this day for a long time. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Remember, don’t be too mean to people,” he teased, reminding her of their meeting.

That was months ago now. We never saw each other in person again. I see him every so often on tv but that’s it. He seems like he’s doing fine but I wouldn’t really know for real would I?

I tightened my grip on the blanket wrapped around me and breathed in his scent. The t-shirt he had lent me back then. I still had it. It still smelt like him. It was comforting. I never could understand why I was so intrigued by him, and I still don’t fully know why now. There was something about him that captured my attention.

I looked up to the sky as I felt a droplet of rain fall down on my face. I ran back into my room and shut the balcony doors. I went over to my bed and took the bear that he had gotten me and placed it next to me as I observed the stars and the moon.

“And can u smile?
You want this,
You hope for this
I can't seem to have you with only my heart,” I sang quietly to myself, “I can pretend you’re here like this,” I whispered as I brought the bear to my chest.

---

Waaah, this is seriously long. I’m sorry if this isn’t how you wanted it… -.- I swear there must be a load of spelling mistakes in this. It’s like 3am and my eyes are getting hazy. I should be in bed now… I hope you liked it.