Sunhee

“Taemin-oppa, I made this for you. Please accept my feelings,” one of the younger girls in our school yelled as she stepped in front of Taemin and me. I glanced at Taemin who had a blank face. He took the letter from her and smiled gently.

“I’m sorry Chaerin. I can’t accept your feelings. The least I can do is read the letter and appreciate your feelings towards me, I am extremely flattered,” he told her. Her face almost instantly fell and she looked like she was going to cry. She had been like the 30^th girl to confess to Taemin and rejected by him too. He wasn’t mean. He just “didn’t feel like any of the girls were his type”, which I didn’t believe entirely as a lot of them fit in his criteria. Someone who can hold a decent conversation, someone who is kind without trying, someone who can argue well without caring about what others think about her opinion. Many fit into that but he still rejected them. I never understood why.

Because he rejected so many girls it always made me worry about how he would be when I confessed to him. I was so scared that he was going to reject me that’s why I hadn’t told him about my feelings yet. I would rather like him in secret than be rejected by him and lose a friend. Some may think it was stupid but Taemin is my best friend. I couldn’t lose him. I’ve known him since pre-school and we’re been through so much together. I don’t know how I could live without him.

“I’ll see you later,” he told me softly as we arrived at my classroom. I nodded and gave him a short hug. His lips brushed my forehead slightly but it still made my heart race. If only you knew what you did to me Taemin…

“I don’t even like you but why don’t you tell him how you feel?” Eunsae asked me as I sat down at the desk. She leaned again the desk next to mine and glowered at me. Even when she was giving me advice she was still glaring at me. Great…

“I don’t think you would understand Eunsae,” I retorted in a slightly bitter tone. I really didn’t like that girl. She was always questioning me about Taemin and copying my work or annoying me. What was her problem?

“I think I do. You like him and he obviously likes you,” she scoffed and rolled her eyes. I blinked slowly and snorted quietly at what she had just said.

“Yeah, Taemin liking me as a friend,” I told her dragging out the word ‘friend’. She moved over to my desk and placed her hands on each side of it and leaned in. I moved my chair back as the proximity between the two of us was too close for my liking.

“You’re so oblivious. Whatever Sunhee,” she shook her head and grabbed the sheet of paper on my desk. My eyes widened when I realised what it was.

“Eunsae, give it back. Do your own homework,” I stomped over to her and tried to pull the paper out of her hand. opened in disbelief and she pulled harder on her end making me pull harder. Eventually, the paper ripped into two making me stomp my feet down and blow at my bangs.

“Great, now I can’t give in my homework because it’s ripped,” I picked up the ripped pieces of paper and then sat down in a huff. She placed her head in her hands and whined about how she should have copied it earlier. How about she just does her own homework? Ugh, Eunsae was unbelievable. Her words rang in my ears though. Was it possible that Taemin liked me? No, one part of my brain said but then the other said that anything was possible. I suppose the only way to know was if I confessed which would never happen because I was way too scared.

“Miss Park Sunhee, homework?”  Mrs Choi stood in front of me. I cussed under me breath and pulled out the ripped piece of paper. She looked at it then at me before putting a cross next to my name on the homework list. “Detention, after school.”

I frowned and placed my head on the desk. It was so unfair. I had done it and she could clearly see that I had done it but she wouldn’t accept it because it was ripped up. She could at least give me an extension and a new sheet. She’s such an unfair teacher… Hmph, that means I won’t be able to walk home with Taemin and I’ll be leaving him with girls who throw themselves constantly at him… Great.

“Thank you Eunsae,” I muttered under my breath sarcastically. She shot me a glare. I’m taking a wild guess and saying that she heard me.

---

Both Eunsae and I were the ones that were left in the room with Mrs Choi. Apparently we had to clean the blackboards, the wipers, the tables and the floor, and if we finished all of that in the hour and half then we had to sit in silence which always killed me. I was naturally chatty so it was kind of hard to sit without speaking.

“This is all your fault,” Eunsae whispered harshly as she swept the floor. I glared at her and carried on wiped the board.

“If you would have done your homework then this wouldn’t have happened,” I retorted back to her. I heard her growl and then heavy footsteps. I turned around to see that she was charging towards me with the broom in her hand.

“Miss Jung, stop unless you want to be suspended,” Mrs Choi said as she walked in. I sighed in relief. Eunsae rolled her eyes and returned to her original position and I carried on wiping the board.

A knock on the door interrupted us. We all stopped and turned to the door. It was Taemin. He opened the door slightly and waved to Mrs Choi who smiled back to him; Taemin was always her favourite student. It was only because he was adorable smart.

“Can I speak to Sunhee for a moment?” Taemin asked Mrs Choi who nodded. He walked in to drag me back out again.

“I was waiting for you,” he whined and pouted.

“Did you not get my text?” I asked him as I flicked up my phone to show him the text message. He sheepishly smiled and opened his phone. His mouth turned into an ‘o’ as he found the text.

“Sorry…” he apologised.

“It’s fine, just let me go back,” I told him a little harsher than I had expected. I gave him an apologetic look before I left to go back into the room.

“He so likes you,” Eunsae muttered as I walked in. I shot her a look to tell her to shut up. Does she ever shut up?

“I have to agree Sunhee,” Mrs Choi piped in. I slapped my forehead; now the teachers too. What’s wrong with people?

“Okay. Lee Taemin doesn’t like me. It’s probably blatantly obvious that I like him and I won’t deny it, I just haven’t confessed yet. I’m scared he will reject me. I know that’s stupid but I have this fear of rejection. I don’t want to ruin our relationship even if it means staying as friends. If he got a girlfriend I would be happy for him. Of course I would be jealous but that’s natural but I’ll try my best to stay happy for him,” I confessed to them. They both stared at me with huge eyes and their mouths gaping open. A sigh escaped my lips as I flicked my pigtails behind my shoulders and started to clean the tables.

Taemin

Did I just hear correctly? The girl that I’ve liked for years likes me too. Knowing her true feelings for me makes me feel happier and relieved. I still don’t know whether I was going to confess or not; I was scared she was going to reject me now. She said that she didn’t want to ruin our relationship so maybe it was better to do nothing and stay as we were. But then my heart was yelling at me to confess my feelings to her. Dilemma. What do I do?

I went home and thought about Sunhee’s words all night. I couldn’t sleep; all I could think of was what Sunhee had said. I didn’t know whether or not to pretend that I didn’t hear what she had said and go on with life as normal or confront her and confess.

---

“Hey Sunhee, how would you react if I accepted one of the girl’s feelings?” I asked. I wanted to know how she would react. I glanced over to her. She bit her lower lip and unconsciously played with the bottom part of her pigtail and pushed her glasses up. She was hesitant. Was that a good sign or not?

“If she was nice then I would be happy. If you’re happy then I am too,” she replied vaguely. I was expecting a long answer. She was unusually quiet today and I didn’t really know why.

“Oh…” I breathed out. It definitely wasn’t the answer I was looking for. She must have been serious about the whole ‘don’t want to ruin friendship’ thing as she didn’t voice out her proper opinion like she normally would have.

“Why? Are you planning to accept one today?” she quirked up an eyebrow. My palms became hot and sweaty as I shook my head furiously. I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. “Oh, I just thought that you would say yes to Lee Nara. I remember you had a crush on her when we were 15. Oh look here she comes, talk to her,” Sunhee exclaimed in an overly happy tone. It was too chirpy to be real. It was very unlike Sunhee. I groaned inwardly as Sunhee walked ahead and Narawalked towards me.

“Hey Taemin,” Naracalled out and waved. I returned the wave and flashed a small smile. My eyes darted around trying to find Sunhee but I couldn’t find her. One second she was ahead of me then the next she had disappeared.

“I was thinking we could get something to eat after school. That’s if you’re free,” Naraasked me in a hopeful tone. I bit my bottom lip and thought about her proposal for a second before answering.

“Sure, why not?”

As the answer came out of my mouth I mentally slapped myself. Think about how hurt Sunhee would be. But she partnered you up with Nara, a part of my brain told me.

Sunhee

I slumped into my chair and hid my face on the desk as I cried softly. Why did I have to like you? There are so many other boys who may or may not be better than you, why couldn’t I like them instead of you? My heart hurt. I knew how much he liked Naraand I knew she liked him too. Why was I such a coward to confess? He could be mine at this moment but he’s not. Then again if I confessed I could have lost him. If only I could predict the future.

“I told you to confess,” Eunsae said in a ‘told you so’ tone. I ignored her and let my tears flow down my pale face.

“He’s with Nara. I told him to go with Nara,” I told her. She gave me an ‘are you stupid look’. Apparently I am…

“Stupid girl. He likes you so why play matchmaker. He probably thinks you don’t like him and you want to get him out of your life,” Eunsae explained. I wiped the tears and thought about what I had done.

“Maybe that would be better. Maybe that way I wouldn’t have to see him so much anymore,” I muttered quietly. Eunsae pulled up a chair and sat opposite me.

“I don’t know why I’m being kind to you now-a-days. Must be the therapy I’m receiving… But if he doesn’t see what an amazing and kind, well not to me, girl you are then he’s foolish and losing out. Seriously, he likes you and I don’t know why he didn’t confess but I swear to you, he will one day when he’s ready,” Eunsae told me. I sniffed quietly and gave her a tiny smile before leaning over and hugging her.

“Ew get off,” she yelled and pushed me off. I’m glad to know our relationship hasn’t changed much.

Maybe not confessing was the best. What if this crush wasn’t as deep as I thought? It could have caused a huge amount of awkwardness if we broke up. I had to keep convincing myself that. If I didn’t then I would probably fall apart. I wish I knew how he felt and I wish I knew how he felt too.

From Taemin:

Going out to eat with Naraafter school. Sorry for leaving you behind.

I felt my heart drop as I read the text message. I did this, I said to myself, I set them up. I had to be happy for him.

To Taemin:

I’m so happy for you. Treat her well.

---

I hope you liked this. I wasn’t sure how to make the ending happy but sad so I hope you’re satisfied with this ending.