“Jun, focus. You need to focus bro,” Doojoon said as he cupped my face in his hands, making me face him. He gave a few light taps on my cheeks as if to give me boost and I just nodded. I may be in a dze but I wasn’t deaf. I could hear the crews getting irritated because I’m messing up the rehearsal. I messed up the dance steps, my rap and many others. Beast was understanding enough not to add to my pressure and kept backing me up. My manager looked at me disapprovingly and shook his head, crossing his arms. I know what he was thinking. I never did change. Always creating trouble.

I can see every disapproving looks. I can hear every nagging and complains around me. But all I care was the empty bed that I saw in the morning. Yes its selfish. I’m selfish. Only when it comes to love.

Rehearsals ended quite badly and we were scheduled for a second rehearsal when I’m “already okay”. We didn’t have any other schedules for the day and went straight back to the dorm. It was already about 6pm when we stepped into the empty dorm. I kicked my shoes off and walked straight to my room, slamming the door behind me.

I threw my bag on the floor and reached up to the cupboard to feel the two letters. Even though its just been a week, dust were already collected on the envelopes like it was a hundred years old.

I brought the letter to my bed and sat cross-legged, staring at the her letter. Should I open it? Opening it would mean I’m accepting and believing that she’s gone. When I got home just now, I admit I was half expecting Hyuna to pop out from my room and gave me the usual tight hug and told me that she missed me even though its not been a day. But I got none. All I got was an empty dorm greeting me back as I was the first to step in.

I started opening the envelope slowly. Maybe she had planned to leave a long time ago and that’s why she wrote me the letter. Maybe she would tell me why she leave, or where she might be,.. all in the letter. Curious, I unfolded the paper quickly.

My breathing was quite rapid as I started reading the letter.

Dear Junhyung,

Keke I followed the starting from the movie. That’s how they start letters right? I’m assuming I’m already gone since you’re reading this now. Do you know where I went? Because I don’t think I will know. I don’t even know how I ended up at the place where you first found me. I’m very clueless Junhyung-ah. I hope wherever I end up later, I would get to meet an angel like you again. You’ve helped me a lot. You’ve taught me many things. And I’ve learnt the meaning of love. You’re the first and last person I would ever love.

Don’t be sad that I’m no longer around because I will always be in your heart. God made you lose a Hyuna, I’m sure He will return you another Hyuna.

I will always love you Yong Junhyung. Never forget that.

Hyuna.

The letter was short but it was enough to make my tears fall again. The letter doesn’t answer any of my questions. Well maybe except one. She honestly loves me. But where did she go? Why are you asking me baby? I don’t even want you to leave, how would I know where you went? Come back to me please. Please Hyuna.

I opened my own letter and just stared at it. I didn’t even bother reading it. Remember when I thought I had so much to write? Well I didn’t write any of it. There was only two sentences in the letter.

Hyuna,

I won’t leave you and I will never let you leave me. I love you my baby Hyuna.

I scoffed at my own words and tore the paper into pieces frustratingly. I panted slightly and in the end buried my face in my palms, crying uncontrollably. Why does she have this effect on me? I’ve never loved someone so much and now that I have, she leaves?

I didn’t realised I fell asleep crying until I felt someone tapping my shoulder, waking me up. I turned and opened my eyes with some difficulty. My tears must have somehow glued my eyelids together as they dry up. That’s how much I cried.

“Oh Yoseob-ah,” I said, my voice cracking slightly. He was sitting at the edge of my bed, facing me.

“Junhyung-ah, you haven’t eaten anything since morning. Come on let’s get you something to eat,” he said, pulling me up. I was too weak to protest and I just followed him. My body would also be too heavy for him to support alone so I helped myself up instead of giving the burden to drag me out.

All of us sat around the table in an awfully quiet atmosphere. The rest had started eating slowly while looking at me staring at my bowl. Yoseob put some side dishes on my rice and told me to eat. I just gave a him a weak smile and nod.

“Er hyung.. You got something..” Dongwoon started talking and pointed to his cheek when Hyunseung cut him off, shaking his head, frowing.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Its nothing Junhyung-ah. Just eat,” Hyunseung smiled slightly, pointing to my bowl with his spoon. I was confused for awhile but just ignored it and started eating before my food gets cold. Its until I went to the bathroom to wash my face again that I noticed what Dongwoon pointed out.

When I washed my face before eating, I didn’t actually stared long at the mirror to notice or I was just still too sleepy to notice. But now that I have, I wished I didn’t. I think I fell asleep on either Hyuna’s letter or mine because there was Hyuna’s name printed on my cheek. It was faint but I could still see it.

Just great.

The following days were dull and torturing. Well for me at least. The boys didn’t make a report because we don’t even know her full name and other details about her. Although I don’t like the hearing of it, but some of them got suspicious of her and checked their things just in case there were some things missing. But no, all was in place.

Every night I dreamt of her. All didn’t end well. I woke up abruptedly, saying her name while panting and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. It’s a good thing Gikwang is not a light sleeper so I didn’t wake him up. It was very tiring for me nonetheless. Waking up every night, looking at every girl with long curly hair, thinking that it might be her but its not, and most tiring of all, thinking of her 24/7. I didn’t even have a single picture of her. Not that I didn’t try to take one but every picture always came out as a fail. Its either the sun was too glaring, or the flash was to bright that the whole photo turned white or the simplest was out of battery at the wrong time.

The only picture I have of her is in my head. The only time I can see her smiling and laughing again is in my dreams. I’m afraid that the image of her will soon fade away and I can’t remember how she look like anymore. No. That will never happen, I told myself again and again.

Double updated coz I felt that the previous chapter was kinda short after I've left this fic for quite sometime. Oh and Jun-wolfie made me happie^^ Although its not a happy chapter of him... How contradicting XD (Oh and do you like the new poster? ^^)

So now you have to wait for Sunday still ^_^v