~chapter seventeen~
violence
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With all your lies,
You're still very lovable.

Darkness filled the room. Kai looked at the sky, panting. Sweat covered his face and neck, and he thought that it’s going to rain. He was exhausted after dancing and he knew that it has to be enough for him for a week; his father thought that he’s studying with his friends.

He heard the door’s creak and looked on his right. A girl peeked and her big eyes stopped on Kai’s figure sitting on the floor.

At this moment, Kai felt a warm feeling in his heart. His eyes widened, he held in his breath and smiled widely.

At this moment, Kai knew that he’s in love.

“Hey” he said, standing up. The girl followed him with her stare. She took a step back when Kai got closer, but the boy opened the doors completely and revealed all of her. She was short and was wearing pink t-shirt and black leggings. A bag was dangling from her forearm.  She was a dancer too or at least it seemed like that.
“Don’t worry, I just finished” Kai said, looking at her from up with his charming smile. The girl blushed, seeing it, and looked on the floor, making him chuckle. “You came here to dance?” he asked.
“I’m looking for my friend” she said quietly, but regained herself and looked him in the eyes, blinking cutely. Kai felt a pang in his heart. He never felt such strong affection towards anyone. It was  weird, but lovely feeling.
“What’s her name?” Kai asked, smiling wider.
“It’s-“
“Sang Hee!” someone shouted from the end of the corridor. Both of them turned their heads and saw a girl running towards them. “Sorry, we changed the rooms…” she said, looking at her friend. When she spotted Kai, she froze, and the boy blinked at her a few times, eyeing her.
“Let’s go” the girl who just came said, grabbing Sang Hee’s shoulder roughly and pulling her away from Kai. The boy frowned and had an urge to shout at her, but stopped and leaned on the doorframe with a grimace.
“Nice meeting you, Sang Hee!” he said and laughed, when the girl looked back at him with a shy smile. Her friend poked her on the stomach and she giggled, trying to run away from her touch.

Kai’s legs started to move by themselves and he jumped to the dancing room with a big smile on his face.

He opened his eyes, surprised. He remembered the day he and Sang Hee met with every detail. The weather made lights in the dance school look even whiter than usually, he was wearing a black t-shirt from Taemin and the shoes he had to throw away a week after that because they got wet after rain. He still could feel his sweat after remembering this day and Sang Hee’s perfumes. Her hair was wavy and pretty, she must have braided them at that time.

He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes until he saw the stars through his eyelids. He growled.

Was he still in love with her?

He sat on the bed and heard voices from the kitchen. His eyes widened and he remembered that it was Friday – and sometimes on Fridays, Taemin didn’t have any practices.

He shot out from his bed and when he entered the kitchen, he saw Suho and his best friend eating breakfast.

“Morning!” Suho chimed when he saw him.
“Morning” Kai said, smiling for a short moment. Taemin turned to him, munching on a toast. A bit fell from his mouth and he tried to catch it, ending up laughing.
“I made you waffles” Suho said, smiling.
“WAFFURS~” Taemin and Kai immediately said, laughing loudly and remembering their old friend from high school. The younger boy sat beside them, rubbing his hands with delight after seeing fruits, chocolate and whipped cream waiting for him to eat them.
“I’m so glad that I woke up earlier!” he said, clapping and taking some waffles onto his plate.

They started talking about some basketball match and went to the job topic. Suho started nagging about the customers and how the teenagers acted towards him, and Taemin laughed at the situation which happened a few days ago. He also said that they found the way to enter the roof and that the view from up there was just amazing.

“I have to show it to you someday” he said to Kai, ruffling his hair.

Kai said that his job is the best one ever and that he has a lot of time for himself, and that made Suho throw a grape at him.

“So, Suho hyung!” Taemin said with a sly smile. Suho knew right away that he’s going to ask about something odd and shot him a look. “How is it going with your lovable one?”

Kai chuckled. Suho made a face a leaned closer to the table with a warning glim in his eyes.

“This is not your business, young man” he said, clicking his tongue. “Aish. What kind of question is that?”
“Oh come on, we’re both curious! Right, Kai?” Taemin chimed, looking at his best friend expectantly.
“Not really” Kai shook his head and drank some tea. Taemin smashed his head and he choked on it, laughing.
“How does she even look like? I didn’t have an opportunity to see her” Taemin said.
“What a shame!” Suho sighed. Kai made a long “aah!” sound and the dancer made a face at both of them.
“Asses!” he said, standing up. “I have to go shopping, I will take you to work” he said to Kai.
“Sure” the boy said, smiling.

They exited the house ten minutes after. Taemin was as always walking fast and dancing from time to time. Kai wanted to do the same, but couldn’t. He was ing down every pile of snow he met on his way instead.

“You know” he said, suddenly, hitting a pine branch and avoiding it in the last second. “I’m thinking about studying again”

Taemin froze and turned to face him with wide eyes.

“Wae?” he asked, surprised.
“Wae wae” Kai rolled his eyes. “I thought that you are going to be happier or something. Or at least ask what I want to study”

Taemin opened his mouth but closed it, like a fish staring through the glass of her aquarium.

“What do you want to study then?” he asked.
“I have no idea” Kai answered with a sigh.

Taemin frowned and laughed at the next moment. He ran towards Kai and threw his arm on his shoulders, pulling him close into a hug.

“No matter what you’ll choose, I will have you no matter what!” he said, jumping like crazy all of a sudden. Kai started at him, making a face, while Taemin was shaking his head and laughing loudly.
“Calm down” Kai said, patting his shoulder, but his best friend didn’t stop at all.
“I can’t, I’m too happy!” he said, pulling away and walking in front of Kai, back to the road. “I was waiting for this day and I knew that it would come. I knew that it will happen in a few days and I couldn’t wait for it! I could just feel it!” he laughed loudly.

Kai was completely dumbfounded and didn’t even answer.

“I don’t know what happened, Kai” Taemin said calmly, but with a big smile on his face. “But I’m so happy that you came back to us” he finished.

Kai laughed shyly, scratching his neck and looking at his own feet. Taemin continued to twirl and dance on the road and Kai was smiling like a retard while he walked.

They finally made their way to the library, when Kai spotted a hint of red in a dark alley. He frowned and, like a robot, turned to see if he really saw right; his heart jumped.

Mari was walking peacefully, very visible in the alley with a white coat on. But behind her walked a guy with black, leather jacket on and a backpack. He had black hair.

Kai really felt fear. His first thought was that this guy will hurt Mari; and he just couldn’t let him to. He was her bodyguard now.

Without a word, he ran towards the two, leaving Taemin dumbfounded.

“Kai?” he asked questioningly, following him right away.

Kai was already close to them. His breath was visible in the air and had to fix his knitted hat which almost fell from his head.

The black haired guy got so close to Mari that she turned to see who it was. Kai’s eyes widened. He made two steps more in the moment the guy was stretching his hand towards the girl and grabbed his shoulder suddenly, violently pulling him back.

What he didn’t think about was that he guy will defend himself in a very weird manner.

And he had a déjà vu.

The guy glanced at him with a warning, grabbed his forearm and his shoulder, threw him over his shoulder and put a lot of strength in the last move. Kai felt his body being crashed onto the ground and ice, but this time it was much worse than when Mari threw him. He shouted and curled into a ball.

Mari gasped.

“YAH!” Taemin shouted suddenly and Kai remembered that he was right behind him. His best friend pushed the black haired guy violently onto the wall, making him whimper.
“Wanna fight?!” the stranger asked, tugging him by his shirt. Kai stood up right away and joined the group.
“Don’t touch him!” he shouted.
“Want to be thrown again?” the guy scoffed. He had many piercings in his ears and dark circles under his eyes.
“STOP IT FOR GOD’S SAKE!” Mari shouted suddenly, pinching Taemin’s and the guy’s cheeks violently. She pulled them away from each other and they both growled and whimpered, trying to get away. Kai opened his eyes widely, looking at them.
“Don’t-“ he said, wanting to stop her from hurting Taemin, but Mari stepped on his foot with her heel and he shouted, almost falling on the road.
“I swear that I will stop talking to you someday!” the red haired said, pushing the guy and Taemin away with red and sore cheeks.

They both looked at Mari questioningly. Taemin recognized her right away and looked at Kai, surprised. Then, he looked at the black haired guy.

Kai and the stranger eyed each other with anger.

“Let me guess” Kai said with a sigh. “That’s the guy who taught you fighting”
“Bravo Sherlock” Mari scoffed. “And you, Tao, I told you that you can’t knockout any guy that walks behind you! Idiot!” she slapped the guy’s head and he whimpered quietly again.

Kai chuckled and Tao shot him a look.

“It gets more interesting every day” Taemin said, huffing, and Kai laughed at him. They were both bending slightly. Kai tried to straighten up, when suddenly, something in his spine cracked.

He made a loud, painful sound, making everybody jump, especially Mari.

“Are you okay?!” she shouted in the same moment as Taemin.
“Jerk!” Taemin screamed into Tao’s face, pushing him on the shoulder.
“Be thankful that I only used this move and didn’t continue to hit him, wimp!” Tao shot back.

By the time they were bickering, Mari went to Kai and helped him to get up and straighten his back. He leaned on her shoulder and could feel her cinnamon perfumes. Mari, on the other side, felt weird but good being lightly squeezed by his warm body. They made eye contact for a few seconds and then red haired girl looked at his feet.

“You’re covered with mud and snow” she stated quietly.
“And I should visit a chiropractor” Kai added, chuckling.
“YAH! HUANG ZI TAO!” Mari shouted, making Kai’s ear explode. He pulled his head away with a grimace. Tao straightened up right away and looked at Mari with wide, frightened eyes.
“APOLOGIZE RIGHT AWAY!” she said, frowning and pointing at Kai. Tao made a face, but quickly turned to face Kai and bowed ninety degrees. His expression changed right away and he looked really sorry.
“I’m sorry hyung” he said, straightening up. “For knocking you down”

Kai opened his mouth to say something, but was dumbfounded. Taemin stared at Tao with wide eyes, but his expression was unreadable. He blinked a few times.

“It’s fine” Kai answered, shaking his head. “Um… I guess that you…”
“I thought that it’s…“ Tao started very energetically, but Mari coughed. “…a thief” he finished smoothly, smiling widely. He suddenly became a cute-looking guy, but Kai stared at his dark circles and wondered if he himself looks like this too after a sleepless night.

Kai’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he frowned, because he didn’t recognize the sound right away. He pulled it out and saw Madame’s number on it.

He cursed and pulled away from Mari, welcoming the coldness right away with sadness.

“I’m late for work. See you later?” he asked the girl. She nodded without a word. Tao bowed to him, but Taemin shot him a look and them beamed at Mari.
“Bye, bye!” he said, waving, and trying to catch up to Kai. It was rather easy – the boy couldn’t move very well.
“If not his sudden attitude change, I would hit him” Kai growled, remembering Tao. Taemin scoffed.
“Thanks for defending me by the way” Kai added.
“Same goes to you” Taemin answered and they looked at each other, smiling.

~*~

Mari opened the door to her apartment and entered it quickly. She threw her bag on the sofa and in the next second, she was laying on the armchair, breathing deeply. She shivered, because the coldness was leaving her body.

Her brows frowned on themselves ale she opened her eyes with suspicion. She looked around and found a piece of paper on the table. It was pink.

Her heart started beating like crazy and she got hot. For a minute, she couldn’t move. She started to listen carefully and she thought that every shadow is someone standing beside her. After that, she pulled her hand out to take the paper with shaky hands.

You should stop meeting him.
He will get hurt :)

Mari exhaled with shaky breath, feeling her eyes getting watery. She stood up and crunched the note in her hand, then threw it on the floor.

Kai already told her that he’s involved and that he won’t get away from him. She didn’t want it either. They were similar in a way she didn’t understand really, but couldn’t let him go now, after all what happened. Her heart ached. She knew what those men were capable of; but would they really attack an innocent person?

She had to do something, warn him somehow. He shouldn’t be alone for sure, no matter where he goes; he has to have a company.

She had to wear her coat once again and shot out from her home, making a mental note about changing the lock in the doors.

Mari’s favourite place and favourite person to talk about this stuff was Jinki’s office and that’s where she went.

She had more than half an hour before her next job was starting and even managed to buy herself a hot dog on her way. Her stomach grumbled; she often forget about eating and she realized that her last meal was yesterday.

She saw the familiar building and chose her normal way. She greeted all the nurses she passed and they all knew her already. She stopped to talk with an old lady who was in the hospital for half a year now. She was really sick and her family didn’t have time to visit her a lot. Talking with Mari was comforting.

The red haired went straight to Jinki’s office, not even knocking or asking anyone if there’s someone inside. She remembered the reason why she’s here and blood boiled in her veins. She pushed the doors, revealing a tidy, bright office and immediately growling.

“You won’t believe what I’ve found-“ she started, but froze completely after turning her head.

Jinki was looking at her with raised brow, leaning down a bit with medical headphones in his ears. Beside him, on the chair, was sitting no one else but Kai – without his shirt on, and with a shocked expression on his face.

“I have a patient-“ Jinki started with a sigh, but got interrupted with their voices.
“KAI?!”
“MARI-AH?!”

Jinki jumped and looked at them, surprised. His stare was jumping from girl to boy.

“MARI?!” he asked as well, shocked. She never told any stranger her real name.
“You know, if you needed my help, you could call and not spy my to the doctor’s” Kai scoffed with a smirk. Mari blushed immediately, turning her face away from the sight. Even though Kai was skinnier than earlier, he still had… well, nice body. And it was probably the first time she got embarrassed by seeing a half- male, since she was practically growing up with boys around her and Hoya’s or her brother’s chest wasn’t as shocking for her as Kai’s.

And that made her even more embarrassed.

“I didn’t spy on you, idiot!” she shouted. “I didn’t even know that Jinki was your doctor!”
“Jinki?” Kai raised his brow and looked at the doctor.
“We’re childhood friends” Jinki explained bluntly, frowning. “Where did you guys meet?”

Mari made eye contact with Kai and immediately turned away, hiding behind the wall. Kai blinked
a few times.

“It was a coincidence” he said.
“Oh, isn’t he the one you told me about?” Jinki asked, showing Kai to stand up.
“Ohh, you told him about me~?” Kai teased, taking his shirt and putting it on.
“No! No!” Mari shouted, shaking her head. She felt really embarrassed.
“Wait, so… you’re the one who helped her out?” Jinki asked quietly. Atmosphere got calmer and Kai looked at his doctor sharply.
“I could have” he answered, wondering if he knew about Mari’s situation. He probably did, they knew each other since childhood. “Wae?”
“Thank you” Jinki simply said, putting away his headphones. “She can be really reckless at times. I can’t always protect her as much as I would like to”

Mari’s heart melted, but she didn’t say a word.

Kai eyed Jinki again and nodded shortly.

“Thank you for your help” he said, bowing and taking his coat. “See you in a month”

Jinki bowed lightly. Kai went to the exit and stopped beside Mari, who was still leaning by the wall, hiding her face with her hair and hands.

“Hey, I’m dressed now” Kai said half-joking, but his voice sounded very caring. He came closer to her and patter Mari’s head suddenly, making her jump in place. She looked at him, but he was already opening the doors. In the next second, he was gone.

She didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. And she didn’t even warn him.

She peeked at Jinki, who was cleaning some of his stuff from the table. The man turned at her and smiled.

“He’s something, isn’t he?” Jinki asked. Mari nodded, walking slowly towards him.
“He’s your patient? Really?” she asked.

“Yeah. We know each other for three years” the doctor said. “He changed a lot through this time”

Mari frowned and sat on the chair by the desk.

“What do you mean?”

Jinki leaned on the desk.

“Well, he was very depressed when I first met him. Then, he was kind of… angry at everyone. Then, he got quiet and close himself up. I couldn’t even talk to him properly. Last year was normal. He was talking with me freely, but didn’t like when I asked him about his parents and this sort of things. He’s a very complicated guy”
“You have his medical card right?” Mari asked with curiosity. “Who are his parents?”
“Mari-ah” Jinki sighed, looking at her with patience and reproach. She immediately melt with the chair. “You know well that I can’t tell you his personal…”
“I know, I know!” she growled, shuffling her legs. Jinki giggled at her.
“But why did you come here at first place?”

Mari exhaled deeply and looked him in the eyes sharply.

“They told me that I shouldn’t meet him because he will get hurt soon” she answered.

Jinki’s eyes widened.

“And what are you going to do?” he asked.
“I don’t know” Mari shook her head. Two minutes passed and she suddenly hid her face in her hands.
“I don’t want him to hurt, Jinki” she whispered with shaky voice.

Jinki felt a pang in his heart. Mari hated to cry. And in the same time, she cried quite often. Sometimes just… because. Because that situation was too tiring for her. And after he had to deal with her stubbornness and the fact she didn’t want his help, he got used to the fact that she always wanted to do everything by herself.

“But you also don’t want to stop meeting him, right?” Jinki asked.

Mari sniffed suddenly. He went to her and embraced her lightly, ruffling her hair.

“He’ll be alright. If he really wants to be your friend, he won’t give up easily. Also, they can’t do anything serious to him. Thanks to the contract” Jinki whispered. “Don’t worry”

Mari squeezed his sleeve.

“Call him and tell him to be careful” the doctor said. Red haired nodded. He gave her a tissue and she got rid of her tears. She pulled her phone right away and punched in Kai’s number.

~*~

Kai’s phone buzzed in his jacket and he pulled it out. He saw Mari’s number and smirked immediately, remembering the scene at the office. He wanted to pick up, when something hit his head and he growled, pulling his hand to cover it.

“What the ?!” he shouted, turning his head. When he did this, some silhouettes flashed in front of his eyes and in the next second, he got pushed onto the wall.

He could only hear his own growls and the sounds of struggle; pain spread on his stomach first. Then, he could feel it everywhere.

His senses got blind and he couldn’t do anything, completely frozen. He wanted to defend himself or shout, but he couldn’t. Everything hurt so much.

His father slapped his face and then curled his hands into fists. The pain came again and Kai started to roll on the floor, trying to escape. The man pulled him up and almost twisted his arm out. Kai shouted.

When his father fist almost reached him again, he blocked it suddenly, with panic and unbelievable power. He threw it away and passed him, tears in his eyes. He ran to his room and closed the doors with a thud. His father started to beat onto them, making loud and scary sounds. Kai covered his ears and hid in the corner, shivering violently.

This pain was back. And he remembered everything that goes with it. Before he knew, his hands got free and mind got blank; he shouted crazily and started beating everything on his way. After hitting two guys on their faces, they pulled him onto the wall again, so he started kicking. He heard the sound of cracking bones and a shout. After that, he only felt more pain.

After five more hits, they pushed him onto the wall again and he slid down, unable to move or think; only hissing and growling. His phone was still buzzing, left on the ground.

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I was writing this chapter while listening to Jaejoon'g song "Mine" and it's just so beautiful. Even the lyrics... It's just perfect and I think that it has a very important meaning for him. Sigh. 
Anyway, I also think a lot about domestic violence lately. I still can't believe how parents can do this things to their children, and then, most of the children grows up to be violent as well. I didn't know how to describe Kai's feelings in this chapter, because I can only imagine what children like this can fell and it already feels awful. 

Aside from that, I'm suffering because of the feels that Idols Olimpics gave me omg 

Thank you for reading. Don't hate me for making Kai suffer so much in the past. He's much better now (if not those tugs who beat him up)