~chapter nine~
red haired girl
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Come on skinny love what happened here
le on the hope in lite brassiere

“Let’s start from the beginning then” Kai said and stretched his hand towards the red haired. She glanced at it and then at him. After that, she smiled and shook his hand. Kai grinned at her. “My name is Kai, nice to meet you”
“My name is Ma Ri. Nice to meet you” the girl whispered. Kai’s heart jumped from happiness and success. He grinned like a little child. It was a simple name. He didn’t know why she was hiding it for such a long time.
“Ma Ri…” he said. “Mari-ah” he repeated, adding the formal form. He raised his brows. “It sounds like Maria. Mari-ah. Mari…”
“Okay, okay, I understood” she said and chuckled. Kai smiled at her.
“Why were you hiding with that time for such a long time?” he asked.
“Because of my personal business” Mari answered. She glanced around in a quite nervous manner and Kai followed her stare, but didn’t see anyone.
“Let’s go somewhere” he said, seeing her nervousness. She nodded and they started walking. Kai felt weird now, when he finally knew her name. Mari. It suited her.
“Why Mari?” he asked.
“My dad is Korean, but my mom was from Europe. They wanted to give me a name that would fit both in Korea and Europe. Like you said, it sounds like Maria. But here, it’s a normal name as well” she answered and glanced at him. He nodded and thought about the next question. He could ask anything, but her wanted to know her more first.
“How old are you?” he asked quickly.
“Twenty one” Mari answered.
“A year younger than me. Are you in college?”
“No”
“Why?”
“Personal business” she answered and smiled a bit with a glint of sadness. “But I would like to study art” she added and nodded. “You?”
“I’m not studying” Kai shrugged. Mari frowned.
“Why?”
“Personal business” he answered and the red haired chuckled. Kai stared at her face and the bruises. Then he realized that she’s wearing jeans for the first time he met her. And this time she had a blue coat and cream scarf.
“You are living alone here?” he asked.
“Yes”
“What about your parents? Do you have any family?”
“Yeah, I do” she tip toed and pointed at some place. “Let’s go and sit there” she said. Kai frowned at the playground, but followed her. The red haired sat on the swing and started swinging on it. Kai sat beside her and observed her.
“Why were those men chasing you at that time, and… at the other time?” he asked.
“Personal business” she answered.
“How can I ask you anything if you…”
“I told you that I can’t tell you everything. After today’s night, we don’t know each other. Arasso?”

Kai pouted and made a face. He pulled away from her and growled quietly.

“Ask something else” Mari said and poked his shoulder. Normally he would freeze at the touch of anyone he didn’t know well. But it somehow made him more self-confident with asking. He turned his head to face her again.
“Where are you working?” he asked. Mari scoffed.
“You knew well where I was working!” she said. “You spied on me with your funny friend”
“Taemin? He’s not funny” Kai said, wondering. His eyes widened. “What, he flirted with you?”
“No, but he’s one of the people who are grinning all the time, isn’t he?” she smiled.
“Oh, that” Kai scratched his ear. “Well, we haven’t spied on anyone for a long time so he must have been really enthusiastic” he continued. Mari laughed again. Her laugh was really one of the most beautiful things Kai ever heard.
“Ohh, so it’s normal for you two?” she asked, pointing at him and waving her finger. “Is he your best friend?”
“Yeah” Kai answered without thinking. Mari smiled honesty and he could really tell that she was happy for him. Weird girl. Getting happy because of other people happiness.
“Do you have a best friend?” Kai asked. “Except for Hoya?”
“Ahh, Hoya is not my best friend” Mari said. “He’s like a brother, but he’s taking care of me because of my brother rather than because of me” she nodded to show that she also believes that. “He’s not a bad guy though. A bit cold, yes, and not very kind, but not bad for sure”
“So you have a brother?” Kai asked. She froze for a second and laughed dryly. Her reaction made Kai chuckle. “What?”
“Whops” she whispered and ruffled her hair. She turned her head and looked at him. “I didn’t want to tell you this, really” she said. Kai thought that she’s a bit too honest for her own good and raised his brows with a dumbfounded smile.
“He’s younger or older?” he asked out of curiosity and imagined a guy with as red hair as hers. He almost snorted in the same second, but didn’t, even though the thought was pretty hilarious. “What’s his name?”
“Ask about me, and not about my brother” she stated. Kai growled.
“Oh come on…” he pleaded. Mari only shook her head, smiling lightly. “Okay, then… You said that I will be in danger if I would still talk to you, right? Why?”
“Because the people who follow me already…” she started, but stopped when she raised her eyes and looked at him. Hesitation was visible on her face, and also a bit of sadness. They stared at each other for five seconds. She finally looked away. “Because they can follow you as well” she finished. “And you already broke the nose of one of them, I’m sure that he didn’t like it”

Kai’s eyes widened and he laughed loudly.

“No way! I broke his nose? Daebak!” he whispered. Mari laughed together with him and stared in the air. It was a really cold night. She exhaled and stared at the steam that came out of her lips. She made them in an ‘o’ shape and exhaled again. Kai was staring at the steam in wonder and blew at her as well. Mari glanced at him.
“Bwoh?” she said playfully, waving at him.
“Tell me a few more things” Kai said, getting her attention back. “Will those men ever give you a break? Or will they follow you for the rest of your life? Do they want something big for you, or are they just stalkers? Can you break away from them somehow?” Kai asked.

She hid in her hair and Kai already knew the answer. She couldn’t.

“What about the police? Can’t you tell them about this?” he asked.
“It won’t work on them. If not them, their people will still…” she said.
“Who is doing something illegal then? Them, or you?” Kai asked. She raised her head and opened , but shut it suddenly, as the electricity went down her spine.
“Personal… business” she said slowly. “Don’t ask about them anymore” she said and got up. Kai opened his eyes wide.
“Where are you going?” he asked, but Mari only went to the slide. He watched dumbfounded as she climbed up and sat on the blue, plastic wave covered with snow and water. She slid down without any expression on her face and landed perfectly.

Kai watched her another five times when she was sliding down. Every time her expression became more relaxed. She climbed for the sixth time, but sat on the slide and put her hand on her own knee. Kai couldn’t see her face clearly.

“I like slides” she said. “And I like rocking chairs. When I was small, I had my own rocking horse. A brown one” she grinned and looked at him. “And I really like kids. Maybe that’s why I like toys and everything what’s made for kids” she stared in the air with sadness. Kai went to her and stood in front of the slide. She was sitting up, he was down. For a minute he felt like Romeo who came to his Juliet. He tilted his head.
“You want to be a child again?” he asked. Mari looked him in the eyes.
“Yeah, that would be… really great” she answered and smiled. Even though her smile was honest, her eyes were sad as ever. Kai felt a throb in his heart.

What are you hiding, Mari?

~*~

Kai placed a plate in front of her without saying a word. He sat opposite of her and started eating himself. Everything was without any taste, but he still ate. Sang Hee didn’t say anything or moved for an inch; she was staring at the food and biting her lip. Before she knew, Kai was already done with his toasts. He got up and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. He glanced at the girl, at her straight, black hair and beautiful profile. His hearth throbbed and he had to close his eyes because of the pain. When he opened them, Sang Hee was staring at him with a miserable expression. His eyes widened slightly.

“Wha-“
“Kai” she said. The boy stopped doing the dishes and dried his hands with a towel slowly, still looking at her. “What happened with us even?” she asked. Kai’s fingers became sore and the towel fell on his foot. After five seconds staring at her dumbfounded, he knelt down and pulled it up. At the same time, Sang Hee got up and stood in front of him. The counter was between them.
“What do you mean?” Kai asked with clenched throat.
“Why everything… ended up like this?” she asked with soft, sad voice. “Why couldn’t we-“
“Sang Hee” Kai said with strong voice. She was surprised by his tone and looked him in the eyes. His were cold and filled with anger, as well as sadness. “Are you joking right now?”

She pouted slightly and exhaled like an angry bull.

“What do you want from me now?” she asked suddenly. Kai scoffed.
“You are asking what happened” he said. “You happened” he finished, throwing the towel on the counter and exiting the kitchen. He passed her and went to the living room, but she grabbed his hand suddenly and he stopped walking unconsciously just by feeling her soft and warm touch.
“Let go” he said, but she didn’t. And he just couldn’t pull away. “Sang Hee, I let you stay here for a night. I let you sleep with me. And now I really want you to be gone. Please, be gone”
“You don’t care about me anymore?”

He snapped away his hand and turned to face her. He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back.

“Are you kidding me? You know the answer. You know very well that I still care for you, that I still love you. Are still, you came here, you touched me, you talked to me like in the past. And what do you want to hear now, Sang Hee?” he asked with anger. Her eyes became misty and she looked down, ashamed. “You are such a liar” he added with a scoff and pushed her lightly to pull away.
“I’m sorry, Kai” she whispered and looked up. “I’m so sorry…”

His stomach tangled, turned upside down and clenched because of the pain, hurt, sadness, guilt, and all the feeling that suddenly flew into him. His head spun.

“Don’t apologize to me. You can’t change anything anymore” he said. “I can’t ever be with you again. I will miss you, I will love you, I will think about you, but I can’t be with you. Because nothing will change. You don’t love me as much as I love you. Our love will get skinnier and skinnier day by day, to the point that you will have enough, to the point that we won’t be able to function properly” his words must have hit the mark. Sang Hee twitched and took a step back. But Kai continued. “You were lying all the time. You lied that you love me. Maybe you did, at the beginning, when we came here together. But in reality, after two months I already knew that you don’t love me. You couldn’t give me what I wanted. You treated me like a toy. I don’t know what are you trying to do now, but I can’t be with you ever again, Sang Hee. I can wither, but I can’t be with you”.

Sang Hee’s eyes became teary. She wiped away a single tear.

“I still don’t understand” she said. Kai looked down. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. “Why all of this happened… if we loved each other that much? I loved you Kai, I really did. I loved you more than anything. More than anyone… What happened with us?” she asked, looking up. The sight of her crying made him melt and crash in one second. He turned away with anger and ruffled his hair with a growl. Sang Hee was staring at him with scared, teary eyes.
“I don’t love you anymore. But if I don’t, why do I feel so empty when you’re not around? Why I want to be by your side so badly? I don’t understand” she said.

Don’t do that to me Sang Hee, he thought.

Kai woke up with a gasp. He literally shot up. His breath was shaky, heart was pounding to the point his chest was hurting. It was one of the most painful dreams and memories he ever had and he didn’t like that he saw it again, so clearly and strongly. He was covered with sweat. He went to the window and opened it wide. The cold air hit him, filled his lungs and tickled his stomach. A strong chill ran down her spine.

Why was he still thinking about her? Why was she still appearing in his dreams? How could she still have such an influence on his life?

He wanted to be free. He wanted to finally break free. Be himself again.

His insomnia was slowly destroying his body. Lately not only Sang Hee, but his parents as well started to show up in his dreams. And he had no one by his side who would understand or help him with this. Of course, he had Taemin. But Taemin would never understand his feelings, Kai knew it. He wanted to understand, but couldn’t. He has never been in love. He had good relationship with his parents and brother. Everything in his life was perfect.

But in Kai’s life, everything was messed. He couldn’t do anything because of the past. Because so many things were standing on his way. Because of his closed, enslaved mind.

Mari’s face appeared in his mind and his heart calmed down a bit. After they met, she bowed to him and thanked him for all that he did for her. And then she just walked away.

Kai knew that he will never meet her again and didn’t like it. She was something new for him. Something unnatural. Her mysteriousness, her sweet laugh, her happiness and honesty, it all attracted him to her in the way he couldn’t understand.

And now even she will disappear from his life.

“Our love will get skinnier and skinnier day by day, to the point that you will have enough, to the point that we won’t be able to function properly.”

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The chapter is quite short. I wanted to fill it only with Kai, red haired and Sang Hee. 
And ta-dah, the name appeared! Mari came out because of the same reason that was in this chapter. She's half Korean and half European.
Where exactly in Europe? I don't plan on writing it here - you can imagine her as whoever you want. 

Also, this chapter shows that Kai's relationship with Sang Hee was really tangled and complicated.
One of the readers, @99kkff said that Kai feels attracted to the red haired. And I just couldn't describe it better. 

Thank you for all your comments and kind words. I'm really happy that Mari's character became such a mysterious one and that everyone are curious about her past. More to come, but from now on I will have to update every two days. I will try to update everyday of course, but school is coming, so please be patient :D 

Thank you for reading! ♥