~ epilogue ~
 

Mari suddenly found herself being lifted off her feet and tossed over Kai’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. On the one hand, Mari had been sure to appreciate every day since her body had healed enough for Kai to stop treating her like she was made of porcelain.  On the other hand: potatoes.

The next thing she knew, she was bouncing on the bed and giggling when Kai threw himself on top of her; he leaned forward, tilting his head a little.

It wasn’t a gentle kiss.  It almost didn’t qualify as a kiss at all.  Because it was need and anger and frustration all bottled up into a duel of mouths, and lips, and tongues and hands wrapping up around her like Mari was something to be protected and kept safe and pulled tight and close and happy.

The door was closed, the room a black blanket that made the world okay, and Mari knew she wasn’t alone now. And with the pain gone her mind and her body were operating on different levels.  So as she curled into the warm shell of Kai’s arms, her body succumbed to memories that felt like safety and comfort and care.  Thoughts about betrayals, hurt feelings and violence were tucked away out of sight, as she let out a soft, happy sigh. 

~*~

Kai tells her that once she showed up in his life, all his bad memories began to fade; that he has no idea how she did it, but every time he looked into her eyes, he could see the better days coming.

He tells her that she reminds him of his innocence that he once lost even as a child and that her lips taste like his favourite lollipops he used to buy with Taemin when they were kids.

He tells her that she reminds him about how colorful the truth and honesty can be. Then he tells her again that he has no idea how, but she pulled him out of his wasteland.

~*~

Mari gets accepted into the Arts Academy a month later, but she still has to wait two months until the school year starts.

Kai moves in with her.

~*~

Kai has a day off and he takes advantage of it to…

Clean the loft.

Because Mari is incredibly messy, even more so since now she has more time to paint and less for doing anything else. Kai doesn’t really mind since he actually likes to clean, no matter how weird it sounds and no matter how many times Taemin teases him about it.

Mari woke up first today and she the music in the living room; she was in such a hurry she forgot to turn it off, and when Kai woke up there was some very old, very cheesy and very childhood-like song playing in the background.

He frowned at it, yawning widely; he looked to his left to see Mari's side of the bed empty and he pouted slightly before standing up and realizing that the music that was playing was from Mari’s favourite CD. There were all the songs her mom used to love.

He spends the whole day listening to that damn CD.

He can’t quite help but want to move along with the song at some point; though usually he prefers something with a heavier base, with rippling guitars, voracious vocals and sharp cracks of percussion, sometimes songs like this wash over him like a cool medley.

He’s over by the sink, washing up the pots, elbow deep in the warm water, bubbles sidling over his skin and he can’t quite stop himself from closing his eyes, head tipping back rocks back and forth. The music seems to slide over his spine, liquid hot and ravenous, slithering over his skin and sinking into his bones. With his eyes closed like this and the music flowing over him, Kai's free from any ills.

And weirdly enough, his mind is completely blank, only filled with the sounds of the song.

Soon, Kai’s hands are holding on to the sink only as mere pretense and he throws his whole body into the dance, rhythm sparking up the length of him like tiny firecrackers beneath his muscles.

His body moves in the same way as all those years ago: delicate bones shifting and settling beneath smooth skin and slick muscle.

He doesn’t even know what makes him look over his shoulder, probably some inherent awareness of his surroundings or the lingering paranoia from years ago, but he does.

He opens his eyes, looks over his shoulder and there’s Mari.

She’s leaning against the doorframe, one ankle crossed neatly over the other beneath her folded arms, her customary backpack and Kai’s old rucksack (now stuffed with her things) dumped on the floor next to her.

Kai startles in the middle of swinging his hips. He blushes, embarrassed to be caught, and hastily wipes his hands on the tea towel tossed haphazardly next to the sink.

He stands there; facing Mari, music blaring in the background, with his hands fisted in the towel, and watches the expression on his girlfriend’s face.

The look on her face though, is all softness; she has that tilted smile, red hair in disarray and the assembly of freckles standing in sharp relief against her pale skin.

“Hey,” she greets. Kai can do nothing but jerkily nod back in return, wildly casting his mind about for a feasible explanation.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Mari continues, honeyed gaze raking over Kai’s form. She pushes herself from the door and walks further in.

She pauses to play the CD from the beginning, and by the time that she’s slinking her way towards Kai, she’s already falling into the rhythm of the song.

Kai begins to back up as soon as he realizes what Mari is attempting to do.

But Mari is on him before he even realizes it.

She gently detangles Kai’s stiff fingers from the tea towel, throwing the offending article over her shoulder where it lands with a soft, wet thwack on floor.

“Mari,” Kai warns, backing up. “Come on, no.”

“You’ve been stopping yourself long enough,” Mari remarks lightly, pulling Kai's arms to fold over her hips. Then her forearms flex and she’s pulling Kai towards her, lining up their bodies.

Kai, admitting defeat, better rearranges his arms around her hips before he ducks his head, buries his nose in the crook of Mari’s neck.

He takes a deep breath, squeezes his eyes shut and pulls Mari all the more closer to him. The way they move now is easy, heads tucked close to each other and arms wrapped around bodies.

Though there’s nothing particularly sensual about this, it’s as much as intimate as when they have : bodies crushed tight, hearts accelerating, eyes fluttering shut.

It also has an entirely different meaning, since the last time Kai danced was almost six years ago.

Kai can feel Mari’s warm breath gusting over the side of his neck and he bites down the urge to smile. They move in a contained embrace, twisting closer around each other as they dodge the miscellaneous objects scattered across the floor.

When Mari pulls in close, forehead pressed against Kai’s, she’s smiling, a self-indulgent slither of happiness that reflects in her eyes too, and that’s when Kai stands a little straighter, holds his shoulders a little more proudly; because he has Mari now, and he’s survived the entire catastrophe of his life and that hole, that emptiness that encompasses his family and his childhood, it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.

They’re so close now that Kai can feel Mari’s breath wash over his mouth, feel her heartbeat, quick and comforting, beating beneath her chest, he can feel the notes of the song vibrate beneath Mari’s skin and surround them.

They’re only rocking from side to side but it doesn’t matter, it’s heavenly in its own right.

The world is gradually getting darker outside, the moon inching its slow path over the curve of the sky, but neither Kai nor Mari take notice, too entranced by each other.

~*~

Taemin asks the cute nurse out and she says yes.

He takes her to Mari’s and Kai’s wedding a year later.

~*~

The first snowball hits Mari in the side of the face and stings fiercely. The second one gets her in the back of the head and drops down inside her coat, making her yelp when it begins to melt right along her spine. She opens to complain and that’s when the third one hits her right in the teeth and forces her into a protective crouch.

“Foul!” she yells once she can feel her gums again.

Glancing up, she finds Minjung wearing an unmistakably proud grin, alongside Taemin, who has another snowball waiting in his hand.

“Don’t you dare,” she threatens, pointing a finger at him, but it's not very threatening since she's wearing mittens.

He laughs and whirls his arm back, but Mari doesn’t have to worry, because from behind, Hyunjae drops an armful of snow over Taemin’s head. He drops to his knees looking slightly stunned, but it doesn’t last long and he’s quickly back up, snarling as he turns on Hyunjae and tries to wrestle him to the ground.

Mari grins at them and thumps the snow out of her hood to pull it back up to protect her head from the cold.

Then they make a fort. Hyunjae’s fortifications look damn impressive in Mari’s opinion, even more so since he’s only six years old. He’s even got what appears to be a turret on one side, which is almost as tall as him when he stands upright and stares over at them, clearly daring them to do a better job.

Minjung does a great job helping, especially when Mari’s fingers start to go numb and she has to shove them, wet gloves and all, between her thighs to try to warm them back up. She even adds a row of sticks along the top of their wall, making it look like a proper battlement, and Mari can’t be prouder of her daughter’s creativity.

On the other side of the yard Suho, together with Tao, Hoya and Eunbi – Taemin’s fiancé – are making a fort of their own.

“We need snowballs,” Mari points out, stomping her feet because they’re losing feeling too. “Do you think Xiumin will join our side?”

Minjung quickly turns her little head towards Xiumin, her braids flying with her movements, and Mari follows her gaze towards where he’s standing with Luhan.

They’ve made a huge snowman wearing a familiar leather jacket that’s clearly been stolen from inside Kai's and Mari's house behind them.

“Does Kai know you took that?” Mari calls across and Xiumin smirks at her conspiratorially.

“I do now,” a voice comes from the porch, making her look over.

Kai has a mug in one hand and a balled up pair of gloves in the other and Mari leaves Hyunjae to hold the fort, while she heads towards him.

“God, are those for me?” she asks as she gets closer. “Please say yes.”

Kai holds the gloves out and Mari peels off the ones she’s already wearing and slips them on, wiggling her fingers happily at the warmth.

“Thanks,” she tells Kai, even as she steals the mug from his grip and pulls it close to smell the sickly sweet scent of hot chocolate that she loves regardless.

Kai takes Mari's gloved hand in one of his, his extra body heat chasing off the last of the chill. Mari grins into her mug as she takes a mouthful and leans against him, watching Tao throw the first snowball at Hyunjae, who ducks behind his wall and cheers that it holds.

It turns brutal after that and Mari is glad she’s sitting it out.

They all end up in a pile, laughing loudly and Mari grins and squeezes Kai's hand.

“I’m cold just watching them,” she admits as Hyunjae rolls out from under everyone and proceeds to jam a handful of snow down the back of Hoya's coat.

Kai tucks his fingers under the bottom of Mari's coat and rubs his thumb against her skin, letting in the chill of the cool air around them. Mari doesn’t mind because Kai distracts her by tilting her face and leaning in, prompting Mari to react automatically and accept a soft kiss from him. Mari smiles against his mouth and kisses him again.

She’s just thinking about deepening it because she’s sure the others are too distracted to notice a little heavy petting, but that’s when Tao hollers loudly and something cold and wet smacks her right on the jaw.

She jolts away from Kai and finds a similarly surprised expression on his face. There’s a mess of snow around them and when Mari glances over, Tao's laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners. The totally threw a snowball at them.

“Oh boy,” Mari murmurs, getting ready for a full on war. Before she can move, though, Kai grabs her elbow and stops her, shooting her a look. “Fine, but I want him at least partially conscious after.”

She pats Kai's arm and he immediately vaults over the porch railing into the yard.

“Kids, come get some hot chocolate!” Mari yells, wincing at Kai as he sprints towards Tao, who yelps and takes off in the other direction.

It’s an obvious losing battle because Tao's not as fast as Kai, who quickly catches up and knocks him straight to the ground.

“Don’t break him too much, Kai!” Mari reminds him, picking up her mug again and taking a drink to warm herself up. Hyunjae and Minjung run towards her, panting, their chubby cheeks red, but their faces lit up in huge grins. She grins at them too, pats Minjung's head when she passes her and enters the house.

"Take off your shoes," she reminds them.

She looks back at the yard in time to see Kai shoving Tao's head into the snow and Hoya beginning to sneak up behind them. Kai obviously knows he’s there because he throws an arm out to brace himself just seconds before Hoya lands on his back, laughing loudly. It’s a tangle of limbs then as Tao struggles to free himself, while Hoya tries his best to shove Kai down into the snow as well.

It doesn’t end up well for either of them as Kai flips Hoys over his shoulder as he simultaneously pushes another handful of snow into Tao’s face. Kai then calmly climbs to his feet, brushes snow off his jeans, and slowly pads his way back to Mari, leaving them both to groan unhappily. Taemin goes to laugh his at them.

Mari greets Kai with another kiss, just because she can, and then nudges him towards the front door.

Mari glances over just in time to see Tao climb to his feet, shaking snow out of his clothes. With Tao distracted, she makes her way off the porch and pats together her own vicious snowball, waiting until Tao seems satisfied with his cleaning attempts to launch it in his direction.

“Hey, Tao!” she yells at the last minute, grabbing his attention, but it’s too late for him to react and the snowball hits him in the dead center of his chest.

She throws her arms up in success and then immediately turns around and sprints for the front door, needing to escape before Tao tries to one-up her. She makes it as far as the kitchen before Tao catches her around the waist and carries her straight out the back door. Mari tries her best to kick and wiggle free, but it’s a losing battle and Tao easily drops her straight into a large snow drift that’s built up again the back of the house.

Mari emerges with a yell because snow definitely went down the back of her pants and it’s damn cold. Tao’s already laughing at her and Mari can see Kai standing over her shoulder, Minjung draped over his back, the corner of his mouth curled up.

“Laugh it up s,” Mari complains, pulling herself free and shaking off snow, and then stomping into the house.

Tao pats her on the back and grins as Mari grumbles and shrugs out of her damp coat.

“I’m returning all your gifts,” she threatens, but neither of them looks all that worried.

Kai chuckles and Mari tries to avoid the arm that hooks around her waist. It’s a lost cause, because Kai easily pulls her close and kisses the corner of . Mari frowns in mock anger, but returns it regardless.

“Eww,” Hyunjae says from the kitchen, looking up at his parents from his mug, his upper lip smeared with chocolate.

“Look, he has a mustache!” Minjung squeals in delight, pointing at her older brother’s face.

“Should I give him the puberty talk?” Kai asks in pretend shock, jumping a little; Minjung giggles on his back from all the fun she gets from it.

“Can we run around the kitchen a few times daddy?” she asks because she’s an angel like this, and Kai takes off immediately, imitating a plane’s sounds. Mari stands in the middle of the little circle he makes and when he passes her, he’s sure to plant a kiss onto her cheek. The next circle Minjung does the same thing.

“Okay, no go and change your clothes,” Mari says after they make the third circle. As on cue, Kai slips and almost trips on the snow puddle that’s on the floor; Taemin is walking by in the same moment and they collide in a tangle of limbs.

“What are you doing!” Taemin shouts, his hands shooting up and stealing Minjung away from Kai’s back; the girl makes a quiet ‘whooa’ sound when she literally flies from her dad’s back onto her uncle’s chest. “You’ll damage the goddess!”

Kai doesn’t have a chance to answer because Hyunjae throws himself on him then, punching the air out of Kai’s lungs.

But Kai doesn’t mind.

Mari throws herself in; she starts tickling her son while Kai holds him up, and Hyunjae quickly regrets the decision of attacking his dad earlier. He squeals and kicks and laughs, and Taemin and Minjung cheer on them all, making a small dance in the same time and all that.

“You guys are so loud,” Hoya snickers somewhere in the background. Taemin flips him off behind his back so the kids don’t see it.

Kai’s phone rings then and he would usually ignore it for the sake of playing with his kids, but the screen shows Suho’s photo so he picks up immediately, shushing everyone in the room. Hoya rolls his eyes when everyone shut up at his single gesture, while Hoya can literally never make them quiet down.

Kai listens to his hyung on the other side, his eyes widening.

“Minae is giving birth!” he shouts suddenly. “Suho is going to be a father!”

It’s a literal Armageddon after that. Everyone drop everything to change their clothes to something dry and are out of the house seven minutes later, passing a dumbfounded Jaejoong who just dropped by and didn’t even manage to go further than the driveway.

Everyone is screaming from excitement and no one really knows what’s happening when they get into the cars.

Mari and Kai wouldn’t have it any other way.

~*~

“Kai?”

The man snaps his head up from the groceries section.

His eyes light up in recognition, but his heart stays put.

“Hey, Sang Hee,” he muses, a light smile tugging at his lips.

Sang Hee has short, curly hair now; there’re soft smile wrinkles around her eyes, but besides that she hasn’t changed at all.

“I didn’t thought I’d meet you here,” she says.

“Same here,” Kai answers. “You back in town?”

“Temporarily,” she nods. “I thought we could—“

“Dad, can I buy cookies?” Minjung asks from his left, suddenly tugging at his jeans and scrunching her nose adorably. “Hyunjae got candy, so I want cookies.”

“No cookies and no candy,” says another voice from behind Kai. “We’re going to uncle Jinki tonight and we’re baking cupcakes!” Mari grins at the girl and her eyes widen.

“Cupcakes!” she hollers and runs to put the cookies away.

Kai smiles at them both fondly and then turns towards Sang Hee again. Her eyes are glued on Minjung’s retrieving figure and then slide towards Mari, who joins him in the same time.

“Hi,” Mari says to her, then glances at Kai. “Who’s your friend?”

“Mari, meet Sang Hee,” he introduces. “Sang Hee, that’s Mari.”

Mari’s smile falters, replaced with worry. Sang Hee swallows visibly, smiles a bit sternly.

“Nice to meet you,” she says, but her voice is cold. “That was your kid?” she asks then, pointing at the direction Minjung has gone.

“Our kid,” Kai corrects, bringing Mari closer by her hip. “We gotta go. It was nice seeing you.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just smiles for the last time; Mari makes some kind of a cut-off noise, but he just nudges her gently towards Minjung and Hyunjae. They stand together in front of the canned food section, arguing if they should buy pineapples or peaches.

Kai’s heart is at ease; he almost forgets about Sang Hee, but then Mari’s hand is around his, and he turns to see her worried, glued to the children’s heads eyes, and he leans close to peck her on the cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures quietly.

“I know,” Mari answers, interlacing their fingers together.

Then she pulls something out of her pocket and opens her palm in front of him.

It’s a heart-shaped, wrapped in red paper chocolate, with ‘I LOVE YOU’ written in the middle of it. Kai chuckles, leaning closer to her, bringing Minjung towards him as well out of a habit, until they’re all practically plastered against each other while bluntly choosing the right cans of food.

“Idiot,” he whispers fondly, at which Mari rolls her eyes.

“Dork,” she shots back.

“We’ll go with peaches,” Hyunjae says eloquently from the floor.

“Good choice,” Kai praises.

“We can make that peach cake we made last time,” Mari supplies.

Both children turn to look at her, wide-eyed, with a loud “Yeah!” that literally echoes through the whole shop. Kai cringes at them, scoops Hyunjae up onto his shoulder and nudges Minjung towards the cash.

“No screaming in the market!” he reminds them while essentially screaming as well; Mari tries to hold in a laugh.

She joins them and her hand finds Kai’s right away, without any of them really searching.

~*~

Sometimes Kai still can’t sleep. But he usually wakes up to Mari’s hand his hair and Minjung squeezed between him and Mari because she had a nightmare and came to sleep with them. And everything is well.

Sometimes he flinches and tenses when he sees an abrupt movement with the corner of his eye, but then Mari’s hand is on his shoulder and then around his palm, and she leans close until she’s flush against him and until his muscles are relaxed again.

Sometimes he still feels guilty. He still cries on his sister’s death anniversary, but every time he does, Hyunjae climbs onto his lap and kisses him on the chin and on his cheeks and tells him jokes Taemin told him; and everything is better then.

Most of the time, though, Kai feels happy; and Mari is usually there to share his happiness.