I got home that night and spent the next few hours lying in bed, unable to sleep. Despite the fact that I was very tired, I just could not get that kiss out of my mind. I had so many questioned that needed answering.

Why did he kiss me?

Why did it have to be Heechul?

And was I bad?

I thought about how strange it would be to walk into class on Monday and see Heechul. He would probably be sitting there like it never happened. It seemed like his kind of attitude.

I got tired of doing nothing so I got out of bed and wandered over to my piano. It was 2am and my roommate, Henry, was asleep so I made sure I pressed the keys quietly. I just had to play some music to stop stressing for a moment. When I wasn’t practicing for a competition, music was just purely relaxing, which was probably one of the reasons why I always continued to do so well.

I closed my eyes as I started to play one of my favourite pieces letting my fingers move effortlessly over the keys. I don’t think words could ever describe how happy I was when I played music. It was the only time where my anxiety would disappear. Even when I had performed on stage in front of a few thousand people, all feelings of apprehension just became non-existent as soon as my fingers hit the keys.

I obviously wasn’t as quiet as I hoped for as Henry walked into the room.

“Can’t sleep again?” Henry asked walking over to the piano. I stopped playing and looked up.

“Something like that.” He smiled. “Sorry for waking you.”

“It’s alright.” Henry eyed me for a moment making me uncomfortable before taking a seat. “So what is on your mind this time?”

I sighed. Truthfully, there was a lot that was occupying my mind. But tonight it was a mixture of anxiety and the kiss.

“When did you have your first kiss?” Henry chuckled at the question.

“A few years ago. Why?”

“Oh… well…was it you know… bad?” I sounded nervous and even though Henry found the topic amusing, I could tell he was trying to keep a serious tone.

“Not really. Are you suddenly starting to regret yours?”

“No, no of course not… I mean yes… maybe, I don’t know. Why are you asking?” I said raising his voice.

“Wow, calm down Min. I could ask you the same thing.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway.” Sungmin said picking up music papers to distract himself from the conversation. He was becoming anxious again and he didn’t want it to get worse.

“If it worries you that much, you can talk to me about it anytime.” Henry stood up and smiled at me. He has always been so nice to me. “Plus I notice that you have become more confident. Getting into the arts institute is really doing something.”

Heechul groaned as he rolled over in bed, trying to kick the sheets off himself as it was rather warm inside his bedroom. Instead of kicking off the sheets, Heechul kicked what seemed to be another person.

“What the ?!” The other exclaimed as he fell onto the floor. Heechul rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. He hated it when Kibum stayed over after they had . Most of the time he would leave straightaway because Heechul was kind of ashamed of the reason why he had a friend just for meaningless .

Up until around five months ago, Heechul was straight. He had been in a relationship with another woman for two years and everything was going alright. But that was until things just weren’t working out and Heechul realised that he was gay. It’s not that he was ashamed of his uality, it was more so the fact that he had become addicted to .

“Why are your even here?” Heechul questioned as Kibum stood up trying to find his pants.

“You still don’t know by now?” Heechul opened his eyes and stared at Kibum as pulled up his pants.

“No you idiot. I mean why did you sleep here?”

“Well since we didn’t finish ing until 4am, I thought why not sleep for the next few hours considering I have work today.”

“That’s still no reason to stay.”

“Oh really? Well maybe you shouldn’t go around kissing guys that leave you so inconveniently aroused at two in the morning.” Heechul’s eyes widened as he remembered the incident that Kibum was referring to.

“…” Heechul rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. “, , …”

“You are gay Heechul. Stop going around to other guys just so you can prove it to yourself.” Kibum buttoned up his shirt and walked to door.  “Who knows… maybe this guy could be the one for you.” Kibum left the room before Heechul could reply leaving him frustrated and tired. Heechul sighed as he remembered where he had to be today. He had to visit his parents since he hadn’t seen them in a month and it was something he never enjoyed. They always would brag on about his talent to whoever else was there. Heechul loathed there high class status and everything else. That was why he was so persistent to move into his own apartment before his parents could have any control over the situation. The least Heechul could do after pushing them out of nearly every aspect of his life was to accept their wish for him to attend the Seoul Institute of the Arts. And so far he was putting up with it quite well.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE LEE SUNGMIN?” Ryeowook yelled, slamming his hands down on the table making me jump. “How can you let that happen? How does that even happen?”

“I-It wasn’t m-my fault.” I stuttered. I hated it when people yelled at me, especially Ryeowook.

“So he just kissed you? Came onto you like some ty ? I knew he was like that…” As Ryeowook clenched his fists, I assumed he was thinking about Heechul

“I think he was just a bit drunk.” I said picking up a pen and circling an ad in the paper.

“Can’t you see it? He was trying to take advantage of you. Arrogant people like him think they can whoever they please.”

“You used to sleep around.” I immediately regretted my comment as pens came flying in my direction from an angry Ryeowook.

“Don’t talk back to me mister. Keep searching for jobs.” I sighed and continued to read over the advertisements. “And just know that if that Kim Heechul touches you again, I will not be so kind to him. Oh look here’s a good one!” Ryeowook turned around the paper and pointed out an ad for a casual job at a bakery.

“It’s perfect for university students and you don’t have to work until midnight.” Ryeowook added. I sounded great, but I was still not sure if I was ready to walk into a store and ask for a job.

“That could be good. It’s only fifteen minutes from the school.”

“It’s ing brilliant. Hand in your resume first thing Monday. We don’t want anyone else getting that position.”

“They probably won’t think I’m good enough. I mean, I’m pretty much socially incompetent and useless and-

“No. No. No. Stop saying those things about yourself and find a new perspective. You will walk right in there and show that you are ready to become the next best baker in Korea. And don’t say you can’t bake. Your muffins are the tastiest thing since Yesung’s co-“

“Okay, okay! I get it.” I covered my ears not wanting here more. Why did he always have to bring up something ual in the conversation?  “I’m still going to be very nervous though no matter how many times you tell me to think positive.”

“I know. But just make sure you go there early. You don’t want to miss out on class.”

“I’m not going.” I stated confidently.

“Reason?” Ryeowook stood up and went over to the kitchen counter to get some apples.

“He will be there.”

“He as in Heechul?” I nodded as Ryeowook passed me apple. “Oh don’t worry about it. He probably doesn’t remember it anyway. He’s probably already with some guy having a wonderful time okay?”

“And what if he does remember?”

“Then make him some more cookies with a note mentioning that you aren’t the easy type.”

“Ryeowook!”

“Okay… I will think of something, because I’m not having your grades go down because of one stupid guy.” Ryeowook said before taking a bite out of the apple and reading the text that appeared on his phone. I stared at my friend for a moment. I wanted to ask Ryeowook the same question I had asked Henry early this morning, but since I kind of knew the answer already, I decided to go for a different one.

“Can I ask you something?” my words came out faster than expected. I desperately hoped that Ryeowook had heard me because I didn’t want to repeat it.

“Mmm?” I took that as a yes.

“What is a kiss supposed to be like?” Ryeowook kept reading for a second but then my question seemed to hit him. He looked straight up with an odd smile on his face. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him this.

“You’re really worrying about it aren’t you? Well there are lots of ways I could answer your question because every kiss is kind of different. Plus there are different styles, techniques and so forth…” Ryeowook said as if he was educated about the topic on all levels.

“Isn’t there such thing as a normal kiss?”

“Well I guess so.”

“I feel so stupid not knowing this.” I avoided Ryeowook’s stare as it was becoming too uncomfortable.

“You’re not stupid. I bet even you’re a better kisser than half of the guys at school.”

“No way. I didn’t even know what I was doing last night.”

“Well that’s because you didn’t see it coming.” Ryeowook quickly replied to the text on his phone and put it down. “Come take a seat over here for a second.”  I noticed that Ryeowook was pointing to the seat next to him so I got up unsure of what he wanted to do. I pulled out the chair and took a seat, his eyes ever so intimidating.

“Now look straight at me.” I turned so that I was facing him. “Cool. So basically just relax and go with it because there is nothing worse than kissing someone and they are all tense okay?” Ryeowook rested his hands on my thighs making me the opposite of relaxed. He better have a better explanation on how to kiss because what he just said was not very helpful.

“Ready?”

“What?”

Before my mind had time to think, Ryeowook pressed his lips against mine. I sat there shocked as his tongue traced over my bottom lip before gently it. I couldn’t believe my best friend was actually kissing me. And surprisingly I had no interest in stopping it.

“Relax.” He said into the kiss. I responded by slowly parting my lips, trying my best to not be so nervous. After getting a sense of what Ryeowook was doing, I started to kiss back. As much as it felt weird, I was kind of enjoying it so when Ryeowook slowly pulled away I strangely wanted more.  

“I think that pretty much explains what a typical kiss is.” Ryeowook added finally moving his hands off me. He smiled as he brought me into a hug. “One day you won’t be so stressed about these things. Trust me.”

That was certainly fun to write :)

Now I better go write the next one!