“Is Jongin around?”

“Kai…Kai…Kai…Jongin…Jongin…Jongin. Why is he so popular? Why is everyone looking for him?” Joon-myun wondered in his mind. It was getting on his nerves.

“Who are you?” he asked the boy in front of him. Joon-myun was trying his best to recollect where he had seen this boy before.

“Lee Taemin-imnida. Jongin’s friend.”

“It was that ex of his from back home,” Joon-myun remembered.

“What are you doing here?” Joon-myun asked with a smile.

“I’m here in Seoul for a few days. Thought I’ll surprise Jongin and catch up with him,” Taemin replied.

“That’s unfortunate. He just returned home to visit his father who is apparently warded in the hospital,” Joon-myun informed with an unwavering smile.

“What? Sorry, could you repeat yourself again, please? What did you just say? Jongin’s father is in the hospital?” Taemin asked. 

“That’s what he said. He just left with his mother about 20 minutes ago,” Joon-myun affirmed.   

“Are you sure?”

“I heard it from Jongin himself.”

“It couldn’t be. I just met his dad this morning. He looked healthy to me. How is that possible? Wait, don’t tell me…” Taemin began to get worried.

He reached for his handphone and dialled Jongin’s number. Jongin’s handphone sounded in the car and he was surprised to see that it was Taemin from the ID caller. But the line was cut off before they could even say a word as Jongin’s handphone battery went flat.

“Hello Taemin. Hello? Hello?...Aish!” Jongin exclaimed in frustration.

In the front seat, Mrs Kim began to quiver and fidget on hearing Taemin’s name.

“Kai, what’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Taemin called me but my battery went flat. I must have forgotten to charge it,” Jongin grumbled.

“Do you want to use my handphone to return his call?” Kyungsoo offered as he took out his handphone from his bag and handed it over to Jongin.

“It’s alright hyung. I can’t remember his number. Anyway I don’t think it was something urgent. I could always call him when we return to Heaven later and have my phone charged.”

Kyungsoo nodded his head.

“Aish! Damn it!” Taemin spluttered in irritation. Joon-myun noticed that the boy seemed to look a little panicky.

“Anything wrong?” Joon-myun enquired.

“Did you say that Jongin had just left with his mum some minutes ago?” Taemin asked.

Joon-myun nodded in affirmation. “She came by yesterday to tell him that his father was warded in hospital.”

“Darn,” Taemin uttered.

“What’s the matter?”

“It can’t be. I just saw his father this morning. And he looked fine. There’s something very wrong about this. They must be trying to trick him home, confine him and forbid him from returning to Seoul. Or are they planning something else far worse?” Taemin fretted out loud.

Uncontrollably, Joon-myun smirked as he thought to himself, “I can get rid of Kai finally. No more Kai around to fight with me for Kyungsoo. Without Kai, Kyungsoo would fall in love with me. That’s right. It should be like this. Everything would be fine if Kai disappears from my life and Kyungsoo’s life. This is good news. And when Kyungsoo is broken-hearted over Kai leaving, I will be there to comfort and love him. Maybe Kyungsoo will finally see me. Maybe he will finally understand how much I love him and accept me. With Kai gone, everything will be better.”

“Did you say that Jongin had just left not too long ago?” Taemin’s question broke Joon-myun’s thoughts.

“Ok. Thanks. I better get to the station fast to warn Jongin,” Taemin spoke urgently as he turned to leave.

Joon-myun was trying to find an excuse to delay Taemin from leaving but Taemin had already disappeared from his sight.

But at the next moment, Joon-myun found himself looking wistfully at his nametag which read “Suho”.

Guardian. He was the guardian of the boys. He had inherited the position of leader from Sunggyu when Sunggyu had moved out with Woohyun. Joon-myun took the alias of “Suho” and promised Sunggyu, Kyuhyun and Sungmin that he would look after all the boys in Heaven, protect them from harm and trouble, to always put their needs unselfishly before his, and to love them as brothers.

Tears started to fall from Joon-myun’s eyes as he remembered that moment. It was the proudest moment in his life. He felt wanted and validated and placed into an important position of trust and leadership.

And Joon-myun thoughts went to Chanyeol’s untimely and recent passing. This was the first time he had experienced the death of someone so close to him. He grieved privately by himself, steeling his emotions in front of the others so as to remain their pillar of support. Though he knew it wasn’t his fault, and he wasn’t able to prevent Chanyeol’s death, he felt that he had been somewhat failed in his duty. 

And Joon-myun shuddered at how Mrs Park came to create trouble on the day of Chanyeol’s funeral – how she intended to wreck her son’s existence to the very end, even in his death.

And now he was about to let Jongin possibly experience the same thing which Chanyeol had gone through years earlier.

Joon-myun began to feel ashamed of himself.

I don’t deserve to be called Suho, he thought to himself.

He thought back on Kyungsoo’s admonishment and pleas.

“Geu-man-hae hyung! Je-bal geu-man-hae! Where did the kind, caring and loving Joon-myun hyung go to? Why do you have to be so nasty to Kai? Aren’t we all brothers? Shouldn’t we treat each other with care since we’re all in the same plight? Didn’t you say that? Didn’t you believe in that?”

“If there’s anyone you should take your anger and hatred on, it should be me and not Kai. Kai is innocent,” Kyungsoo pleaded as he trembled. “I’m the bad person. I’m the one who’s unable to reciprocate your love. Blame me! Hate me! Scold me! Hurt me! But please don’t hurt Kai! He’s not wrong!”

“Hyung, it’s not his fault. You can’t force love. I know that you love me and you’ve gone out all of your way to take care of me, but I just don’t love you. You’re just a brother to me. I basked in your love and attention, yet I was unable to return anything back to you. I’m the sinful one. So please don’t blame Kai.”

“Hyung! Jeong-shin-cha-ryeo! I beg of you. Please don’t hurt Kai anymore. Otherwise, it would be very hard for me.”

“To be able to face you and talk to you again. Because you’re no longer that generous person I know. I don’t want to lose this hyung who has been so precious to me,” Kyungsoo faltered and fumbled along his words. “And I won’t be able to face myself knowing that I’m the one who caused your change…to turn into a bad person. I won’t be able to live with this thought. I won’t be able to look at you or Kai in the eye thinking it isn’t my fault…”

What am I doing? Kyungsoo would never forgive me if anything happens to Kai. Kyungsoo would be heartbroken for the second time.

That’s perfect isn’t it? Kai wouldn’t be around and you would be there to comfort Kyungsoo. Don’t interfere, Kim Joon-myun. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just let everything return to their original place. Kai has a family. He’s going back to his family. Kyungsoo would return to you. It’s a win-win situation for all.

But what about Kyungsoo? What happens if he slips into depression again?

I’ll be there to look after him.

What if he ends up committing suicide?

It wouldn’t happen. You’re thinking far too much.

But didn’t Kyungsoo accompany Kai? Would Kyungsoo be in trouble?

Joon-myun trembled with fear, uncertainty and worry.

How could be you so selfish? You’re Suho. You have to protect everyone. You have to protect your brothers.

“That’s right, I’m Suho. I’m Suho,” Joon-myun affirmed as he clenched his fists tight.

Grabbing his handphone, Joon-myun made a dash to find Taemin. He spotted Taemin not far away who was about to make a turn at the end of the lane. He sprinted towards Taemin shouting, “Taemin-ssi, wait up! Wait up!”

“Kyungsoo…is…with…Kai,” Joon-myun stuttered as he panted, trying to catch his breath.

“What do you mean?” Taemin asked. He was a little confused.

“You don’t have to rush all the way to the train station. You can talk to Kai, I mean Jongin. He’s with one of the guys now. I’ll give him a call,” Joon-myun gushed.

“Hyung,” a voice on the other end of the telephone said.

“Kyungsoo-ah, don’t let Kai go with his mother,” Joon-myun warned.

“Hyung, what’s this about? Are you up to something? Why are you…?”

Joon-myun felt hurt that Kyungsoo had his suspicions about his intentions. Nevertheless he instructed, “I’ve got no time to explain. Pass the phone over to Kai. His friend Taemin would explain things to him.”

“Kai, Joon-myun hyung is on the line. He said that your friend Taemin is with him at the moment. It sounds urgent,” Kyungsoo whispered.

Jongin nodded and took Kyungsoo’s handphone from the latter.

“Taemin…?”

“Jongin-ah…”

And as Jongin listened to what Taemin had to say, his hands trembled and his face turned pale for a moment. He ended the phone call thanking Taemin for his help and handed the handphone back to Kyungsoo.

Noticing Jongin’s change to shock, anger, disappointment, weary and hardened, Kyungsoo could not help but worry, “Kai, are you okay?”

Jongin only squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand in response without saying a word.

“Thank you so much…” Taemin paused to take a look at Joon-myun’s nametag. “Suho-ssi. Your name…it means protector, right? Jongin is very lucky to have you as a hyung as well as the rest of the boys to watch out for him. Please take good care of Jongin. I’ll take my leave first. Tell Jongin I’ll give him a call later.”

Joon-myun nodded and waved Taemin goodbye.

He sighed and he trod back to Heaven with a heavy heart still feeling conflicted on what he just did.

I have done the right thing, didn’t I? I am a noble idiot right? I shouldn’t have interfered, should I?

A lot of questions and doubts bombarded his head. Joon-myun shook his head trying to brush those nagging thoughts and queries off.

Only one thing really matters – I am Suho.

…..

“Jongin-ah, can you wait here for a moment while I go get the tickets?” Mrs Kim asked.

Jongin remained expressionless and did not bother to answer his mother.

“Kai, what’s wrong?” Kyungsoo probed.

Before Jongin could respond, Mrs Kim had returned to the tickets. “Come on, let’s go. The train departs in 20 minutes.”

Just as Mrs Kim had taken a few steps, she realised that Jongin was still standing at the same spot. “Jongin-ah, let’s go. We’ll miss the train.”

“You can go ahead,” Jongin burst out. “I’m not going with you.”

“Kai…”

“Jongin-ah…”

Mrs Kim returned to his side. “Jongin-ah…”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Jongin raised his voice. He was irritated. “I’m not going with you.”

“Kai, what happened?”

“Jongin-ah,” Mrs Kim pleaded, “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to see your father? He’s in hospital and he might die anytime…”

“You liar!” Jongin spat. “He isn’t in the hospital. He’s living well.”

“Kai…?”

“Jongin-ah, that’s not true. Your dad is…”

“Stop lying. You’re pathetic,” Jongin interrupted.

“Who told you that your father is well?”

“Taemin. He saw my father only just this morning.”

“He’s lying. That kid is up to no good. He’s lying. He feels ashamed and guilty when he sees us. He hates your father and me for causing you to break up. How can you trust what he says?” Mrs Kim argued.

“What good would he get from lying to me?” Jongin retorted. He paused and took a deep breath. “I can’t believe that you are doing this. I can’t believe that my parents would gang up to trick me and make me feel guilty and lousy about being such a bad son.”

“Jongin-ah, please listen to umma. We can explain. Your father and I…we both miss you. We never spent a day not worrying about you. We just want you to come home to us,” Mrs Kim begged.

“And then what?” Jongin riled. “Ground me? Imprison me at home? Send me to a psychiatrist? Send me to some healing camp or clinic to get treated? Or get me exorcised of my homouality?”

“Jongin-ah,” Mrs Kim continued as tears began to flow from her eyes. “Please understand us. We just want the best for you.”

“If you want the best for me, then you should just accept that I’m gay. You won’t try to attempt to change me,” Jongin snapped. “If you just want the best for me, I beg of you, just let me lead my own life from now onwards. Both of you are no longer my parents. Both of you disowned me, remember? So do me a favour and just leave me alone.”

“You’ve changed!” Mrs Kim shouted. “Look at what this group of gays are doing to you! Come back with me before it’s too late!” 

“This group of gays happen to be the only people on earth that understands me and accept me for who I am, and into their family. This is where I belong. I heard and seen so many of their stories and heartbreak that I don’t want to go home with you and let my life be ruined by both of you, and end up with a tragic ending. No. I’m not ever going home to both you. Not until you can truly find the heart to accept me who I am. Until then, you’re no longer my parents,” Jongin declared.

Grabbing Kyungsoo by his hand, Jongin then dragged Kyungsoo off leaving Mrs Kim in tears.

But with every step Jongin took with Kyungsoo in tow, tears fell from Jongin’s eyes. He was upset that his parents were recalcitrant. He was upset at his parents’ betrayal. He was upset that his parents wanted to trick him. He was upset that his parents could not accept him for who he is. He was upset with so many things. Yet he knew that his parents did want the best outcome for him in life. His footsteps started to get heavy and he halted in his tracks causing Kyungsoo to bump into him.

In the next moment, Kyungsoo took a crying Jongin into his arms to comfort him, and they remained like this for several minutes as the crowds buzzed them by.

“Don’t be too upset,” Kyungsoo soothed. “Maybe one day in the near or distant future, they would just accept you for the way you are.”

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So did anyone expect this to happen? Kai's mum lying to him, Joon-myun finally coming round. Do you think what Joon-myun did was right? Or should have been selfish this once? What would you do in his shoes?

Once again, thanks for all the comments. I'm currently on my holiday in Australia. So the next chapter might take a while before it gets updated. 

Please continue to show your love and comments for this story.

The finale is approaching soon. There'll be some nerve wrecking stuff in store.

Do check out  and comment on my other fan fics if you have not already done so.

My other fan fics

KyuMin: Almost a love story

KyuMin: 60 Days 

It's You (너라고) Neorago (a YeWook fan-fic)