KyuMin Part III: The next few days and a Goodbye

Heaven's Boys

 

Sungmin could hear the sound of water falling. Not too long after he heard a whisper in his ears.

 

“Sungmin-hyung, Sungmin-hyung,” a smooth velvety voice was calling out for Sungmin.

 

Sungmin opened his eyes and rubbed them. There was a topless young boy standing up. His hair was wet and the towel was round his shoulders. He had a lean body though it was not tone.

 

Sungmin gulped in surprise.

 

Is this a dream? Where am I?

 

Sungmin finally recollected the previous day’s events. He left home. He made his way to Seoul. He got lost trying to find Ryeowook and ended up in some stranger’s home – a high school student named Cho Kyuhyun.

 

“I’m sorry for waking for you up,” Kyuhyun apologised as he noticed Sungmin’s sleepy face. “You can go back to sleep. I’m just letting you know that I’m going to school. You can help yourself to the biscuits or bread if you’re hungry. Anyway here are the directions to your friend’s place.”

 

Kyuhyun rattled off the directions to Ryeowook’s place but Sungmin seemed too sleepy to notice.

 

“Sungmin-hyung, can you please pay a little attention?”

 

Sungmin nodded.

 

Kyuhyun grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down the instructions or directions for Sungmin. He then repeated it verbally for Sungmin.

 

He then wrote down his address on the paper. “This is my address. If you lose your way, you can ask around for directions.”

 

“But if you still can’t find your way, I’ll stop by the bus stop at the main road around four in the afternoon. You could always meet me there. You won’t miss it. There are shops there.”

 

“There’s a spare key in the desk drawer. You can use it. Remember to lock up the place before you go out.”

 

Sungmin nodded.

 

Kyuhyun then changed into his uniform shirt. He put on his blazer and grabbed his backpack. He slipped on his shoes.

 

“Good luck with finding your friend,” he said.

 

……

 

“He doesn’t live here?” Sungmin stuttered in shock.

 

“He moved out about two months ago,” a middle-aged lady said.

 

“Do you know where he moved to? Is there any way to contact him?” Sungmin asked anxiously.

 

“I don’t. I’m sorry.”

 

“Gamsa-hamnida,” Sungmin said and bowed.

 

The door then slammed shut on him.

 

Sungmin quivered and dragged himself away.

 

He felt his knees become jelly. It was as though Sungmin could come crashing to the ground.

 

Sungmin sighed, “This can’t be happening to me! I’ve totally lost contact with Ryeowook. Looks like I have to stay with Kyuhyun for a few more days. Maybe I should try for Sunny.”

 

Sungmin walked to the bus stop still hesitating if he should look Sunny up. She was after all younger and a female. It would not be appropriate for him to look her up. He opened the notebook and sighed. He decided to take a chance.

 

He asked a passer-by for directions to her home. And he managed to find her place without much difficulty.

 

The door opened and a woman who Sungmin recognised at Sunny’s mother greeted him.

 

“Sungmin, is that you? You’ve grown so much since the last time I’ve seen you.”

 

Sungmin was inwardly relieved. “Ajumeoni, is Sunny around?”

 

“She’s in school at the moment.”

 

“Oh I see. Could you tell her I dropped by?”

 

“Sure. What brings you to Seoul? Did your parents come along?”

 

“I’m here to find a job,” Sungmin said. “I kind of wanted a change of environment.”

 

Sungmin did not want to go into details about what happened.

 

“Since you’re here, come in for a tea,” Sunny’s mother invited Sungmin.

 

Sungmin politely accepted the invitation. He stayed for about half an hour and chatted with Sunny’s mother, cautiously avoiding the real reasons he was here in Seoul. He asked for Sunny’s home number promising he would call sometime giving an excuse that he was uncontactable as he was in the process of finding his own place to stay. It was lucky that Sunny’s mother was not much of a busybody and did not probe into his affairs and she graciously agreed to inform Sunny that Sungmin had dropped by.

 

It was a few minutes before noon when Sungmin left Sunny’s home. He did not want to return to Kyuhyun’s place as yet.

 

I think I better go look for a job.

 

He boarded the next bus which arrived. It brought up to the university area. He wandered down the streets aimlessly staring at shop fronts when a hiring notice caught his eye.

 

Sungmin looked up. It was a coffee house restaurant. He pushed the door open and made an enquiry.

 

Sungmin was in luck. The position was yet to be filled. The manager owner who goes by the name of Shim Changmin came out to interview Sungmin. Impressed and happy with Sungmin, Changmin offered Sungmin a job on the spot and asked him to start work next week.

 

Sungmin smiled in relief as he left the café named Max. At least he has a job. He may not be paid much but at least it would pay for his food and rent. The next thing he had to do would be to find a place to rent. He also contemplated taking another job, but that would probably wait for the time being.

 

He looked at his watch. It was about two. He decided to grab a quick bite and decide to head back to Kyuhyun’s place. He remembered Kyuhyun telling him that he would be waiting at the bus stop on the main road around four, offering to walk with Sungmin if he is unsure of the way back. And then he remembered Kyuhyun’s address which Kyuhyun had scribbled down in his (Sungmin’s) notebook. Sungmin smiled at Kyuhyun’s thoughtfulness and careful attention to detail.

 

Sungmin arrived at the bus stop much earlier than Kyuhyun did. He had nothing much to do so he just waited at the bus stop while sipping on a drink. His other held a packet drink which he had bought for Kyuhyun.

 

It was five minutes to four when a bus pulled up at the bus stop. A familiar figure emerged from the bus. Sungmin waved at the younger boy excitedly as the latter gave Sungmin a warm smile. Sungmin gave Kyuhyun the drink which Kyuhyun accepted gratefully and a smile. They walked side by side as they headed back to Kyuhyun’s home.

 

“You look happy,” Kyuhyun noted.

 

“I’ve just gotten myself a job.”

 

“That’s good. What kind of job?”

 

“A waiter at some coffee house restaurant.”

 

“Is the pay enough for you to get by?

 

“I think so. As long as I get a cheap room, the money should be enough. Maybe I would take another job.”

 

Kyuhyun nodded.

 

“So when are you going to start work?”

 

“Monday.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“I will start looking for a room to rent from tomorrow.”

 

“Good luck.”

 

The rest of the journey back to Kyuhyun’s place was spent in silence. When they returned back, Kyuhyun immediately took out his homework to do. There was nothing Sungmin could do. There was no television. He decided to read the some manhwa to pass his time.

 

But Sungmin’s focus was not really on the book. His gaze would unwittingly shift towards Kyuhyun and remain on Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun was not drop dead gorgeous as to some other guys which Sungmin had seen or had a crush on, but the level of intensity and concentration Kyuhyun showed in his work, the way Kyuhyun furrowed his brows trying to solve a problem and the triumphant smirk when he finally succeeded just captivated Sungmin. He seemed like a grounded, down to earth, serious kind of kid which would probably make a good boyfriend and possibly life partner.

 

“Aish Lee Sungmin. What are you thinking? He’s only 17 years old and a high school student,” Sungmin screamed inwardly as he slapped himself. The sound made Kyuhyun turn around. He asked in a concerned tone, “Are you okay?”

 

“Ne,” Sungmin stammered. “Just swatting a mosquito.”

 

Kyuhyun just let out a soft hum as he murmured, “I don’t remember this place having mosquitoes.”

 

He turned round again and asked, “Sungmin-hyung, are you fine? Is it boring in here?”

 

“I’m alright,” Sungmin told a white lie.

 

“Alright,” Kyuhyun replied as he returned to his books.

 

Sungmin continued reading the manhwa. After a while his eyelids began to grow tired and he fell asleep.

 

……

 

“Sungmin-hyung, Sungmin-hyung,” Kyuhyun called.

 

Sungmin slowly opened his eyes.

 

“Come and have dinner,” Kyuhyun said.

 

Sungmin rose and headed for the table. Kyuhyun had already cooked a pot of ramen for both of them to share.

 

Kyuhyun gave an embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything much here except for ramen. Is that okay for you?”

 

“I’m fine. But I feel so bad that I’m living off you.”

 

“That’s really alright.”

 

“But Kyuhyun-ah, you’re still a growing teenager, is it okay for you just to eat ramen for almost every meal?”

 

Kyuhyun laughed. “Don’t worry. I did have a good lunch in school.”

 

And Kyuhyun suddenly remembered that unlike him, Sungmin did not go to school. Did Sungmin eat well?

 

“So did you have a good lunch?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

“I did.”

 

“Did you manage to find your friend?”

 

“No. He moved away.”

 

“I’m sorry to hear about that.”

 

“But I managed to find another friend. But the friend is a she, and she is much younger.”

 

“Were you thinking of moving in with them?”

 

“Yes I did,” Sungmin admitted sheepishly. “It’s alright. I’ve decided that I would be getting my own place. It’s better to be independent.”

 

“I agree, but I don’t have the financial ability to do so now,” Kyuhyun sighed.

 

“But you’re lucky to have a hyung that takes care of you.”

 

“I guess, but he can’t do so for life.”

 

Both of them had finished the meals. Sungmin took the utensils and stood up when Kyuhyun caught Sungmin’s wrist and said, “It’s alright. I can do the washing up.”

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, please let me do something around here. Otherwise I feel pretty bad and useless.”

 

Kyuhyun loosened his grip on Sungmin as the older boy cleared the table and brought the utensils over to the sink where he meticulously carefully cleaned the pot, the plates and chopsticks before drying them. Kyuhyun studied Sungmin from where the former was. Kyuhyun never thought that dish-washing was such an interesting chore until now – watching Sungmin smile and nimbly working on the dishes. Kyuhyun just kept his attention on Sungmin. 

 

“I’m done,” Sungmin said, breaking Kyuhyun’s thoughts.

 

Kyuhyun nodded.

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, I would probably be out room-hunting tomorrow. Do you want to accompany me or something?”

 

“I would love to, but I have to go to school tomorrow. And then I’m heading back home for revision. I have a few tests coming up.”

 

Sungmin nodded. “But Kyuhyun, besides studying, don’t you have any interests?”

 

“I do, but studying is my priority now. I’m not a loner or anything. I still go out with my classmates.”

 

“You must be an intelligent student who score good grades or top the class.”

 

“I just get by,” Kyuhyun replied modestly.

 

There was a silence for a while before Kyuhyun spoke, “Hyung, be careful when you are going room hunting tomorrow. Just make sure that you inspect the place first and that the person you pay the bond and rental down payment is to the owner. Also, make sure that he issues you a receipt or something.” 

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, gomawo.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, will you be okay if I were to return late tomorrow?”

 

“Sure. You have the key, right?”

 

Sungmin nodded. “Will you be okay by yourself here?”

 

Kyuhyun chuckled, “Hyung, I’m 17 years old, not 17 months old. That said, I’m more worried that you can’t find your way back here. Are you sure you know your way back here?”

 

“I’m 19 years old not 19 months,” Sungmin retorted cheekily. “Don’t worry I know the way back my now.”

 

……

 

Meanwhile Sungmin spent the entire Saturday searching for a room to rent near his workplace. Kyuhyun had left for classes quite early in the morning with Sungmin only waking up after nine. So they missed each other totally in the morning. Sungmin had also managed to contact Sunny via a public payphone and they arranged to meet up on Saturday evening.

 

Sungmin had no idea where to start looking for a room. He peered through newspaper advertisements and made a few phone calls but the rooms were mostly expensive. So he decided to look at the university district where he hoped would offer cheaper rooms. He checked out for any notices of room rentals and found quite a few on the market. After a few viewings which included rooms even more dingy than Kyuhyun’s apartment, he finally settled on a small, but cheery and bright room.

 

The search took him into the mid-afternoon. Later on, Sungmin caught up with Sunny over dinner as they shared what was going on in their lives.

 

Sungmin confessed to Sunny that he had been chased out by his parents earning both sympathy and admiration. While she expressed her worry for Sungmin, he assured her that he will be fine.

 

The night ended with Sungmin sending Sunny home and both of them promising to catch up with another as soon as possible.

 

It was almost midnight when Sungmin returned home. It was already nights out in the small apartment. He guessed that Kyuhyun must have fallen asleep. Taking care not to wake the younger, he crept about the apartment, quickly hurried to take a shower and lie down.

 

Sungmin would be leaving on Monday as he would be moving into the apartment then.

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, gomawo. Without you, I wouldn’t know how things would turn out.”

 

……

 

For once, Sungmin rose earlier than Kyuhyun. It did surprise him a little.

 

Perhaps the weekend is the only day Kyuhyun gets to sleep more. He usually sleeps late and wakes up early due to his studies.

 

He decided to make breakfast for Kyuhyun. Sungmin spotted a loaf of bread and some apples. He opened the shelves and cabinets. It was mostly empty except for ramen, biscuits/crackers and some condiments.. Sungmin then opened the small fridge. There was nothing except for some kimchi and a few eggs.

 

Sungmin sighed. Although Kyuhyun said he has had a good  nutritious meal in school, Sungmin still felt sorry for the teenager who was still growing. Kyuhyun was definitely got getting enough nutrition.

 

He took out the remaining four eggs. He boiled a pot of water and put two eggs into the pot. He then heated a frying and cracked one egg to make an omelette.

 

The fragrance of the egg cooking woke Kyuhyun up. He rubbed his eyes and murmured, “Hyung, what are you doing?”

 

“Making breakfast,” Sungmin replied.

 

“What are you cooking?”

 

“Eggs. Two styles. Hard boiled and omelette.”

 

“Gomawo,” Kyuhyun replied as he rose from the mattress and headed to bathroom to wash up. He later emerged from the bathroom and they settled down for breakfast.

 

“So did you manage to get your own place?”

 

“I did. I’ll be moving in tomorrow.”

 

“So tonight would be your last night here?” Kyuhyun asked softly. Somehow there was a tinge of sadness in his tone.

 

“Ne,” Sungmin replied softly. Like Kyuhyun, there was a tinge of sadness in his voice probably due to their imminent parting. And neither spoke a word more about it.

 

They finished up their breakfast. Kyuhyun went to his books while Sungmin cleaned the utensils. As he had nothing to do, he started to tidy Kyuhyun’s apartment a little.

 

Kyuhyun did protest to Sungmin for doing the housework, but Sungmin said that he really wanted to do something to thank Kyuhyun for his kindness and that he had pretty much nothing to do anyway.

 

By the time Sungmin had cleared the apartment, the bathroom had been thoroughly scrubbed, the dust and cobwebs removed, books arranged neatly. Everything was spick and span. So they sat down for lunch over ramen.

 

It was about half past three in the afternoon when Sungmin finally said, “Kyuhyun-ah, go take a shower, let’s go out!”

 

“But I want to study. My tests are coming,” Kyuhyun protested.

 

“Didn’t you study the whole of Saturday and today since breakfast?”

 

“I did…”

 

“So all work and no play makes Kyuhyun a dull boy,” Sungmin said as he grabbed Kyuhyun from his seat, and half dragged, half-shoved him into the bathroom and locked the door, ignoring Kyuhyun’s protests that he needed to study.

 

But just after Sungmin shut the bathroom door, Kyuhyun opened the door again and emerged from the bathroom.

 

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing? You can’t possibly have showered that fast,” Sungmin said.

 

Kyuhyun sighed, “I am going to take some clothes to change.”

 

Kyuhyun finally emerged from the bathroom about ten minutes later in a checker short-sleeve shirt and jeans.

 

“I’m finally seeing you in something else besides your uniform and home clothes,” Sungmin remarked.

 

Kyuhyun sighed, “This is pretty much what I have.”

 

“Let me go take a quick shower,” Sungmin said.

 

They soon themselves out of the house and walking towards the main road.

 

“So where do you want to go?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

“There’s some fair and flea market near the university area. Shall we go?”

 

Kyuhyun nodded.

 

Sungmin and Kyuhyun checked out the games at the fair. While Sungmin was rather enthusiastic about the games, Kyuhyun remained rather cool about it. At Sungmin’s insistence, Kyuhyun joined in the games and slowly the cool air about him melted as he started to smile and laugh and high five each other.

 

Just then a small bunny soft toy caught Sungmin’s attention. “Kyuhyun-ah,” Sungmin said, pointing to the bunny soft toy, “Do you think that’s cute?”

 

“You like soft toys?”Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows in surprised.

 

“Can’t I?”

 

“But you’re 19.”

 

“One is never too old for soft toys.”

 

Sungmin decided to try his hand at the shooting game to obtain the soft toy. But after two tries, he missed the target. He pouted and sulked as they walked away from the store. Kyuhyun noticed that and asked, “Do you really want it that much?”

 

“It would be nice if I had it,” Sungmin mused.

 

Kyuhyun then grabbed Sungmin’s hand and returned to the store. “I’ll get it for you.”

 

Kyuhyun put the money in the hands of the person minding the stall, and promptly took up the toy gun. Taking careful aim at the target, Kyuhyun shot it down and won for Sungmin the toy.

 

Kyuhyun took the stuffed toy and placed it onto Sungmin’s hands. Clutching the toy in one hand, the ecstatic Sungmin hugged Kyuhyun with his remaining free hand, wrapping it round Kyuhyun’s chest. Kyuhyun felt a jolt tingling down his spine. It was sort of a new experience for him as he had never felt such a sensation before and so, brushed it off.

 

The two boys then headed to a roadside stall for dinner where Sungmin ordered a few dishes of meat, seafood, noodles with vegetables as well as rice-cakes.

 

Kyuhyun widened his eyes in surprise. “Hyung, can we finish all the food? It’s really too much. And shouldn’t you be saving money?”

 

“That’s okay, Kyuhyun-ah. Just see this as my treat for the help you had given me. And I have been a free-loader for the last few days, eating your food…”


“But I didn’t do much for you,” Kyuhyun said.

 

“But you did. I was lost and you offered me help. And you had been so thoughtful.”

 

“But that’s really nothing.”

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, I’m really grateful. Gomawo. Come on, let’s eat up. You really need to eat something else other than ramen such as meat and seafood. You’re really too skinny.”

 

“Gomawo, hyung.”

 

They stopped by the convenience store on the way back from the main road. Sungmin bought an ice cream each for each of them.

 

“Let’s have a little sinful treat,” he told Kyuhyun.

 

They were silent on the walk back to Kyuhyun’s place. Deep in their hearts, they knew that this would be the last time they would walk back to Kyuhyun’s place together. They were strolling leisurely hoping to stall for time.

 

Finally Kyuhyun was the one who broke the silence, “Hyung, what time you would be leaving tomorrow?”

 

“Probably about nine in the morning.”

 

“I see. I will be leaving for school around seven as usual. So I guess we’ll miss each other.”

 

“Probably,” Sungmin replied.

 

“Remember to lock up the place when you leave. You can drop the key into the apartment’s mailbox on your way out.”

 

“Will do,” Sungmin said.

 

They had finally reached Kyuhyun’s home and neither spoke a word since. They took turns to shower. Kyuhyun packed his bag as Sungmin tried to shut his eyes to sleep. Kyuhyun then turned off the lights and lay down on the mattress. Like Sungmin too, Kyuhyun found it difficult to sleep as he lay on his side.

 

……

 

It was already morning. Sungmin only managed to catch some sleep intermittently. He could feel hot air near him. He knew that it was Kyuhyun who was probably leaning close to him. He could hear Kyuhyun whispering, “Hyung. Gomawo. Thank you for the dinner. Thank you for the past few days. It was short, but thank you for your company.”

 

Sungmin heard the door shut. It was an indication that Kyuhyun had already left. Sungmin sighed as he muttered, “Kyuhyun-ah, thank you too. I’ll never forget you.”

 

……

 

It was about seven in the evening when Kyuhyun returned home. He could have gotten home earlier, but he just felt like staying in school a little longer.

 

He picked up the key from the letter box.

 

He’s really gone, Kyuhyun thought to himself.

 

Nothing in his home had changed. Kyuhyun walked to the desk and returned the key to its original place.

 

So this is it. Everything returns to its original place. Life goes on.

 

He opened his cabinets in search of something to eat and he was surprised at what he saw.

 

There was a packet of rice, cereal, a few cans of tinned food. It was also stocked with more packets of ramen and biscuits.

 

I don’t remember having rice and this much food. It couldn’t be Yesung-hyung. He would only be back tomorrow.

 

Kyuhyun then opened the fridge and he was again surprised at what he saw. There was a carton of milk, different types of kimchi, fresh fruit, eggs and cheese.

 

Kyuhyun then spotted a piece of paper on the dining table. He rushed over to it and picked it up, It read: “Kyuhyun-ah, I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and help. I know I can’t do much for you or thank you enough. You might have noticed that your food supplies have doubled overnight. Well, this is the best I can do for you to show my appreciation to you. Please don’t feel bad about it. And don’t worry about it. It didn’t cost me much and I can afford. Meanwhile remember to keep a balanced and nutritious diet. Too much ramen is bad for you. What’s ironic is that I still bought ramen for you. Good luck with your studies. I hope you would be able to make it to the national university and become a successful lawyer. All the best. Hope you see you again in the future if fate allows it. Sungmin.”

 

Kyuhyun felt tears welling up in his eyes as he read the note and turned to look at the fridge and cabinets.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So sorry for taking so long to update. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

When do you think they will meet again? What part did you like in this chapter?

Please continue to leave me your comments and subscribe the story if you haven't already done so. I would appreciate it very much. 

I won't be updating for until two weeks later. I'm going to Tokyo and Hokkaido for a holiday. Will be catching SM Town Tokyo. Sometimes I wonder what possessed me to want to watch SM Town in Japan since the songs might be different SM Town Seoul. Gee. But I've already boughr my tickets. 

 Do check out  and comment on my other fan fics if you have not already done so.

My other fan fics

KyuMin: Almost a love story

KyuMin: 60 Days 

It's You (너라고) Neorago (a YeWook fan-fic)

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I know I sound a bit defensive and unable to accept criticism, so I'm posting my point of view on the character's death as a comment

Comments

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Chanbaekismyluv #1
I'm new reader here:)
I can't wait to read the story to the end<3
-Yoonmin101- #2
Chapter 55: WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO SAD IS THIS SOME JOKE BECAUSE IF IT IS I WOULD BE HAPPY SO SO HAPPY
-Yoonmin101- #3
Chapter 12: I really hope there is Sulay in this
Mistycal #4
I'm so excited to read this story!!
crisisconfirmed
#5
Chapter 4: I know I'm only at the very beginning but I really love this story already! Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece of work, authornim!!! I really love your writing~~~
Schz__ #6
Chapter 62: When I first started reading Heaven's Boys I didn't know it was going to emotionally me up badly. That being said you are a great author and I respect the decisions you made for this story and and it made it very good.
MinnieCutiePie
#7
Chapter 62: Its 4:01AM and im sitting here reading this while sobbing ......... I start reading ur story and stop it yesterday and now I want to continue reading it ( I did read 30 chapter im not joking ) when the flashback of donghae's death appeared I was holding back my tears but I break down when Chanyeol died How could that angel-happy-virus-innocent child die and what about baek I was hoping that the next chapter u will change it and make him alive but ................... And suho........ Why didnt he at the least Date yixing T^T u are a great author for making me cry like this !!! But at the least chanyeol didnt die he stills alive and he is living with the rest of exo members in their dorms same for donghae ^____^ ! This story is amazing and its like a Drama which I liked a lot !! I notice that u love making us cry because I did read ur KyuMin story ( 60 days ) and gosh I cried a lot !!!! I hope that u make another KyuMin/baekyeol/kaisoo..... Story with many ships a good story line ( I know u have a great imagination) and please..... Let it be a happy ending !! *
Sorry for my bad English ^^ and hope that u make other fantastic stories!!
hadzluvsDO #8
Chapter 62: Damnn... this fic is amazingly beautiful. Great job author-nim!!
exoxooverdose
#9
Chapter 62: It was soo good. At first I was a little hesitant to finish reading since I knew I would break down and cry. Honestly, it was all so good and so much was going on. I personally liked that Suho got amnesia because his attitude was kind of getting on my nerves but also because I wanted Kaisoo to be happy. I was shocked when I read that the guy Kai talked to in heaven was Jino; I could've died. When I read that Suho got hit in the head I thought he was going to die instantly but he didn't. The stories were so ed up which made it interesting. I would totally read a sequel. Keep up the good work :)
exoxooverdose
#10
Chapter 54: So I'm stuck on this chapter. I can't even...I'm experiencing so many feels. I have cried like there's no tomorrow and I've gotten mad. It's so good but I don't wanna break down. This is so ing sad I swear. So many feels. Not my Channie....It's gonna break my heart...Ughh