Kyungsoo was seated on the floor of his shared bedroom with Jongin; his face buried in his palms; the self-inflicted wounds were still bleeding and dripping blood as Jongin sat next to Kyungsoo.

“I’m a bad person right? You must be thinking this way,” Kyungsoo sobbed.

Jongin shook his head and turned towards Kyungsoo and drew him into a deep embrace. “You’re not a bad person. I don’t think of you this way,” Jongin whispered into Kyungsoo as Jongin Kyungsoo’s hair.

“I murdered Jino with my childishness, wilfulness and recklessness,” Kyungsoo continued to cry as his tears fell onto Jongin’s t-shirt sleeve.  

“Hyung, it was an accident. No one expected things to turn out this way,” Jongin reasoned.

“He was worried that the sea might turn choppy. And I said it wouldn’t. And if I didn’t put him to the test at that fateful minute, he wouldn’t have waded in to save me and drown. Why didn’t I listen to him? Why did I even test him? Why did I forget that he is a lousy swimmer even though he reminded me,” Kyungsoo cried.

“I should have been the one who drowned back then. I should have died, not Jino. But I’m alive…Why did you all stop me from taking my own life? I deserve to die. That’s the only way to makes things right, to make amends to Jino! Then he won’t be angry with me. Then we can be together!” Kyungsoo shouted.

Jongin could not take it any longer and shook Kyungsoo hard. He exclaimed, “Hyung! Jeong-shin cha-ryeo! Yes, you may have been childish. You may have caused Jino’s death, but do you think killing yourself helps? Do you think killing yourself will right the wrongs?”

“Hyung,  why would he be angry with you? Do you even know why he died?” Jongin continued.

“He thought that I was about to drown…he wanted to save me…” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“So you do know that! Jino loved you so much that he went to save you. Even though he wasn’t a good swimmer and he might have known that there was danger, he went to save you. He gave up his up for you, and now you want to throw your life away by dying. This would make his sacrifice in vain. Imagine how heartbroken and angry he would be. He won’t be able to be at peace.”

Jongin paused for a while as tears started to fall from his eyes, “He won’t be angry with you for causing him to die. He loved you. He wanted you to live. So please Kyungsoo hyung, please, you have to live. You have to live for his sake. In fact you have to live doubly hard. You have to realise your dreams.”

“Please hyung. Please don’t think of death anymore. You have us. You have me. We’ll help you get over this. I’ll help you get over this. Don’t let us down. Don’t let Jino down anymore,” Jongin urged earnestly.

Kyungsoo only bawled louder nearly choking on himself as he released his bottled up emotions as he trashed about in Jongin’s tight embrace as he kept on repeating “I don’t deserve this”. Jongin could only pat Kyungsoo on his back to comfort him.

This continued on for a few minutes until Kyungsoo became exhausted from his crying.

“Do you think Jino will forgive me?” Kyungsoo spluttered as he choked on his words.

“I’m sure he will,” Jongin reassured Kyungsoo as he pecked the latter on his forehead.

“But Kai, I’ve said hurtful things to Jino. I never apologised to him when he was alive. I hate myself. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Hyung, all the more you have to live well to show how sorry and appreciative you are. If you can do that, I’m sure Jino would be at peace,” Jongin comforted. “You can take me as a replacement for Jino, if you want. You can take all of us at Heaven for Jino – people whom you love and care for.”

“Hyung, you’re still bleeding. For a start, we should dress the wound, okay?” Jongin offered.

Kyungsoo nodded. Jongin stood up and extended his hand to Kyungsoo which the latter took.

“Hyung, I know that you keep a first aid kit in our room. Where is it?”

Kyungsoo pointed to one of the drawers and Jongin opened it and took out a small first aid kit.

“Come on, we have to wash to wound,” Jongin said as he took Kyungsoo’s hand. Remembering what had just happened in the bathroom, he led Kyungsoo to the kitchen to wash his wound and dress it up.

Fortunately, the cuts were not at all deep. Jongin washed the wound with some running water which caused Kyungsoo to wince at the pain. Jongin then applied some antiseptic solution to the wound and bandaged it up.

“Kai, gomawo.”

Jongin only nodded his head and smiled. “Promise me, you’ll not do something silly anymore. I still need you to prepare my breakfast, tidy the room and iron my uniform for me.”

“So you only need me because you want me your servant?”

“Well, that’s a good suggestion now that you’ve said it,” Jongin chuckled causing Kyungsoo to finally break out into a smile. But a few moments, Jongin started to look serious, “Hyung, tell me truthfully, have you been taking your medicine regularly?”

Kyungsoo shook his head and hung his head in shame.

Jongin gently tilted Kyungsoo’s head up so that their eye levels matched. “From now on, you have to promise me that you’ll take your medicine regularly until your doctor says you’re okay. I’m going to make sure you take your medicine.”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“You know appa and umma will have to know about this incident,” Jongin said.

Kyungsoo sighed and nodded his head. Just then Kyungsoo froze for a moment with a look of horror in his eyes.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

“Joon-myun hyung. What did I just do?” Kyungsoo exclaimed as tears flowed again. “I hurt him badly.”

……

Sehun and Chanyeol had cleared up the glass shards in the bathroom. Joon-myun was in a cocoon like position and he wrapped himself up. His trademark sunny smile had vanished. His hair was in a mess. He was still crying. And he was still bleeding. He had refused Chanyeol’s gesture of attending to his wound and shouted at Chanyeol to stay away.

Chanyeol and Sehun stood in the bathroom speechless and terrified. The two younger boys were shocked at what they were witnessing. This was the first time that they had seen their smiley and caring hyung reduced to a crumpled emotional mess and wreck. Neither of them dared to approach Joon-myun or to say a word. They were at a loss of what to do.

Chanyeol eyed Sehun, indicating him to do something. But Sehun glared at Chanyeol and shook his head. Chanyeol then nudged Sehun, but Sehun poked Chanyeol in return. Finally Chanyeol gave up and whispered into Sehun, “I have an appointment. I’ll leave hyung to you.”

Sehun hissed at Chanyeol with irritation, “What I am supposed to do with Joon-myun hyung? You’re the hyung. Come on, help me out. Please.”

“No, can’t do. Good luck,” Chanyeol whispered as he stealthily sneaked away leaving Sehun to curse under his breath. Although Sehun shared a room with Joon-myun and they were supposed to be close, the younger boy was at his wits end with the situation.

Satisfied that there were no glass fragments on the ground, Sehun gingerly took a seat to Joon-myun.

“Hyung,” Sehun called out softly. “You’re still bleeding. Although it isn’t a deep cut, you still have to get your wounds treated and dressed.”

But Joon-myun did not respond. 

“Hyung…” Sehun called out softly again. This time Joon-myun lifted his face up and turned to look at Sehun with his bloodshot eyes. This startled the younger boy as he inched a little away from Joon-myun in fear.

“Am I not good enough for Kyungsoo?” Joon-myun asked in a raspy voice.

Sehun was alarmed by the question. He had no answers to Joon-myun’s question. He could only shake his head and stutter, “Hyung…I…I…don’t…”

“Why is Kyungsoo so silly? Why is he still thinking about Jino? Why can’t he see my heart?” Joon-myun continued to barrage Sehun with questions as his tears flowed.

Sehun felt sorry for Joon-myun, but he was unable to answer any of Joon-myun’s questions.

Just then Jongin walked into the bathroom and without taking careful stock of the situation, asked, “Is everything alright?”

Joon-myun shifted his gaze upwards towards Jongin. It was piercing and resentful that it made both Jongin and Sehun shudder in fear.

Joon-myun rose slowly from the ground and closed in menacingly at Jongin, causing Sehun to cower and step aside. 

Joon-myun growled, “You said you would watch over Kyungsoo and inform any of us if he started to act strangely. Why didn’t you? Look at what you had caused.”

Jongin gulped, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would get this bad. I promised Kyungsoo-hyung…”

“You also promised me. Didn’t you promise appa too?”

“I know it was my fault…you can…”

Without warning, Jongin felt himself stumbling backwards and his right shoulder smarting as Joon-myun threw him a hard punch. This caused Sehun to gasp in shock. But Joon-myun was relentless and continued to advance towards the shell-shocked Jongin like a hunter stalking its prey.

“You! Because of you!” Joon-myun snarled gruffly. “If you didn’t appear, Kyungsoo wouldn’t have rejected me.”

“Mworago?” Jongin exclaimed in surprise.

“Don’t act innocent with me, Kim Jongin,” Joon-myun threatened. He raised his right fist and was about to rain down a second blow on Jongin when the taller Sehun grabbed hold of the older but shorter boy from behind.

Joon-myun struggled to release himself from Sehun’s grip. Fed up, Joon-myun raised his left fist instead but this time, Jongin was prepared. He clenched his fists and was ready to fight back.

Somehow, Joon-myun managed to break away from Sehun and lurched forward at Jongin. Jongin did not make an attempt to dodge and took on Joon-myun head on. The two boys ended up in a scuffle, each defending himself from the other’s attack.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What has Kyungsoo hyung rejecting you got to do with me?” Jongin shouted.

“You let things spiral into this state. You’re an accomplice in causing Kyungsoo to be hurt!” Joon-myun shouted accusingly.

“Fine! It was my fault. Why are you getting so worked up? And what’s this all about me causing Kyungsoo hyung to reject you?”

“Where’s your responsibility? You shouldn’t have come here. We shouldn’t have taken you in!” Joon-myun yelled.

Sehun tried to pull Joon-myun away from Jongin without much success. Suddenly all of them heard a shout, “Stop it both of you!”

Both the boys recognised the voice. It belonged to Kyungsoo. He stepped forward and shouted, “This is on my fault. It has nothing to do with Kai. I forbade him from telling anyone. I thought I could handle it myself, but I couldn’t. So Kim Joon-myun, don’t take it out on Kai. If you want to hit, hit me instead!” Kyungsoo challenged as he pulled the shocked Jongin aside and then stood himself in front of Joon-myun. “Hit me!”

Joon-myun was stunned to do anything. He could only stare guilty at Kyungsoo.

“I’m really disappointed in you hyung,” Kyungsoo said. “Where did the caring and loving hyung go?”

Kyungsoo’s words stabbed Joon-myun deeply. Kyungsoo did not say another word, but turned around, took Jongin’s hand and left the bathroom.

Joon-myun slumped in depression and collapsed onto the bathroom floor as his tears began to flow uncontrollably again.

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So did anyone enjoy the KaiSoo moments and the drama in this chapter? 

How did you all feel reading this chapter? Did you like the scuffle part between Kai and Joon-myun?

Anyone of you guys out there feel bad for Joon-myun? 

Looks like KaiSoo has started to take another step forward. 

Please remember to comment on this chapter/story. And if you have yet to subscribe, please subscribe to this story. 

Anyway this story is more or less into its halfway mark. I hope to end this story with 60-65 chapters. Meanwhile I'm already thinking of some ideas for my next fan fictions. Just curious, what sort of main pairing and side pairings would you like to see in my next fic? Leave your comments. Thanks.

Do check out  and comment on my other fan fics if you have not already done so.

My other fan fics

KyuMin: Almost a love story

KyuMin: 60 Days 

It's You (너라고) Neorago (a YeWook fan-fic)