Somehow Joohyun feels relieved. Joy just repeated the sentence she told Joy some days back, but it seemed to have alot of effect on her.

She feels like maybe it isn't wrong.

Maybe it isn't wrong to think about Sooyoung and Seungwan, when she has her beautiful family in front of her.

But that maybe is always there.

And it won't ever disappear.

She chooses not to think about her past anymore. But she's failing, especially since the day she saw Seungwan at that party. She never ever wanted to see that woman again.

But she's a liar.

She didn't talk to Seulgi about it, didn't want to enquire why she's here. She doesn't care if Seungwan is here, she wouldn't care if she walks into this house, she wouldn't care if she dies.

But she's a liar.

She pushes her past out of her thoughts and thinks about the beautiful girl in front of her. Joy is a real gem. Her mother must be a great one.

She understands stuff that even some adults can't. She doesn't say it but she must know what Joohyun is feeling. Her eyes tell that much.

Joohyun wonders if her little girl Sooyoung also grew up to be this kind, charismatic. She wonders what she likes, what does she want to be in life, does she have many friends, maybe even a partner.

As much as she wants to know. She knows she can't.

They're gone from her life and they're never coming back.

"Joy you're still here?" She sees Seulgi with a frown.

She decides to enjoy what she has, and to stop thinking about what she lost.

She walks up to Seulgi and gives her a quick peck on her lips. "I love you."

Seulgi backs up slightly as she glances at Joohyun's face, but a smile appears on her face soon with her eyes disappearing. "That's sudden. But I love you more." She snuggles close to Joohyun or at least she tries to.

Joy appears in between them and clears . "Guys I'm still here, don't start with all the gross activites please."

She puts a hand in front of her to say 'Stop'.

"Eomma did Joy leave already? I didn't even say goodb-" Yeri storms out of her room in a hurry as she scans the whole place and shouts loud enough for the voice to go in every corner, but she stops as she sees Joy. "Oh you're here."

Joy smirks and runs to Yeri.

"Aww. You were upset because you couldn't say goodbye. You're so cute." Joy pulls her cheeks as Yeri swats her hands away.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself Miss." Yeri makes a serious expression, but Joy just smiles seeing her.

Joohyun feels Seulgi dragging her towards the kids.

"Joy it's dark. Come on I'll drop you off." Seulgi offers and before Joy could say anything she wags her finger to and fro. "No, no you don't get a say in this. Besides I know we've just met but I'm sure you don't want me to die, cause if I don't drop you off this woman would surely kill me." She points to Joohyun as the three laugh.

Joohyun sends glares to Seulgi, and she freezes. Seconds later though she breaks into laughter and holds Seulgi's arm. "Damn right, I will."

Seulgi and Joy leave and Joohyun retracts to her room.

She opens her closet and fishes for a precious thing in the lower most shelf. She digs her hands under clothes she no longer wears, things she no longer uses. She finally takes it out.

The notebook decorated with the most vibrant colours with the title 'To Sooyoungie'.

She's been writing this diary for 12 years, even since they separated. It's the things she would want to say to her little girl, who's not so little now.

She writes in it randomly when she's missing Sooyoung. She writes it on her birthday and on other special occasions, as if directed to Sooyoung. It's as if she's taking to her for real.

She wishes her Sooyoungie could read this.

She takes her pen out and writes.

'Dear baby girl,
Eomma misses you too much today. I won't write alot today, but I n