Dec. 26, 2017

Sipping on my morning coffee, I smiled briefly at the video playing on the tv. 

I was running the videos I captured during wanna one's fan-con in Busan. From their performances to their backstage laughter and celebration. 

Yesterday was Christmas. For the first time in 3 years, I actually had fun celebrating Christmas. And it also was the longest celebration. 

When we were in Busan, we celebrated with the boys, the staff, Woojin's family, Minhyun oppa's family, and Daniel oppa's mother. There were a lot of laughter, solemn words, and genuine smiles. It was very late in the evening then but no one was tired. It surprised me how much warmth I felt among them. We lasted until midnight that day. On the second day, the boys spent their own time with their family while the rest we spent together, the staff and the rest of the boys. 

Kang eommonim insists that I join them but I kindly refused because I wanted for them to have their own time. Instead, I promised I'd see her the next day, and I did. I told manager-nim that I'd go and pick up Daniel oppa and he let me. So I dropped by their house, keeping my word of seeing Kang eommonim. At the same time, to give her the gift I prepared. We had the time to ourselves while Daniel oppa got ready to leave since we had another event to go to that same night. We both gave her our goodbyes and we left. 

I smiled, hugging the pillow beside me at the thought of seeing Kang eommonim again. I really like spending time with her. She would always show her cute personality that always makes me feel warm and also, remind me of home. The way she and Daniel oppa would act around each other, it just feels, lovely. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I ran to the indoor telecom and laughed. I clicked the unlock button and waited at the door. Then it opened. 

"Hansol-ah!" I said, gaining his attention. He broke out of his trance then looked at me with wide eyes. I ran to him and jumped in his arms, giving him a tight hug. "What time did you arrive? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. "Eun-ah. That's Kang Daniel." He said, pointing to the mentioned man who stood behind him. I shifted my gaze from Hansol to Daniel oppa, giving him a wave. He waved his hand as well, showing a box of donuts in his other hand. I laughed in glee, opening the door for them both. 

"Hi." Daniel oppa said, ruffling my hair when he stopped in front of me. I smiled widely at him. "Good morning," I replied. Taking the box of donuts in his hand. I gave his hand a slight squeeze, secretly acknowledging his visit. We both turned to look at the still dazed Hansol. 

"Choi Hansol, meet Kang Daniel. Oppa, Meet my best friend."I said, letting them face each other. They both bowed at each other, their hands reaching out for a handshake. I told them both to wait in the living room but Hansol stubbornly insists that he help me in the kitchen. Daniel oppa obediently went to wait instead.

"I told you I work with wanna one,"  I said to him when he leaned on the kitchen counter asking for an explanation. "Yeah.. but, what is he doing here?" He whispered. "A visit?" I said, not sure if that's what he was asking. "It's true then? What Jieun noona said? That you're really dating him?" He asked. I nodded my head. He gasped, running his fingers through his hair. "Wah. Choi Eun. Have you no fear? Dating the most famous Idol? Are you crazy?" He asked, keeping the tone of his tantrum to the lowest possible tone. 

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Can't you just be happy for me? You're the one who's been pushing me to date already. There he is. The person I'm dating." I said, pointing my hand to the living room. "Choi Eun!" He freaked. "I'll tell you the details later. Let's just have breakfast first, okay?" I said, giving him the tray of food and heading out first. 

"Does he know?" Daniel oppa asked, taking the tray I had from my hands. I nodded making him sigh out in relief. Just then, Hansol came in giving me a look that we should go back to the kitchen to talk. I gave him signs with my eyes that we shouldn't and should at least wait until we were left alone to talk about this. Suddenly, Daniel oppa took my wrist and sat me beside him leaving Hansol to sit on the single couch. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to Seoul? I could've picked you up at the station." I said to Hansol. "It was supposed to be a surprise. But it seems that it happened the other way around." He laughed awkwardly. "So, Kang Daniel-ssi." Hansol started. We both looked at him, worried and nervous. "Yes?" Daniel oppa asked. "Relax, relax. I won't tell anyone." He laughed making Daniel oppa look at me worriedly. I nodded, telling him that Hansol keeps his word. 

"Is it that obvious?" Daniel oppa asked Hansol if it was obvious that we were dating or having that sort of romantic relationship in general. "A little." He replied. "But...Eun is like my sister. No matter how crazy things get for her, I'm always on her side." He said. I smiled at him, holding his hand and patting it. A minute ago he was giving me a lecture but I know how quickly Hansol gets over things, so I know, his words are true. That thought made me grateful to have him as a friend. "Let's eat first, shall we?" I said, handing them the utensils. 

Over breakfast, the two started talking about each other. Hansol mentioned about our 10-year friendship, and where he's living now. He lives and is, studying a few hours away from Seoul. We couldn't visit or hang out much ever since the new term started, so this is his first visit to Seoul. "I wanted to check on Eun cause she lives alone here in Seoul," Hansol said, saying his reason why he came without notice. 

"10 years... Wow." Daniel oppa said in awe. I looked at him briefly and saw how his expression slightly changed. I held his hand and gave it a tiny squeeze making him look at me. I smiled at him, making him look at me in the eye and return the smile. He looks a little bothered...

"We were the only ones abroad who were Koreans, along with Dahyun, my girlfriend."  He said. "Dahyun? She's the one who lives 9 hours away right?" Daniel oppa asked, turning to me. I nodded, smiling a little because of how he remembered that. "Long-distance then?" Daniel oppa asked. Hansol nodded and sighed. "It's hard, but we make it work. It wouldn't even happen if it weren't for Eun. She was the one who pushed me to tell Dahyun how I felt for the past 8 years." he paused, smiling out of the blue. 

"I was too scared to ruin our friendship so I hid it for 8 years. Until finally, before we parted ways for college, I had the courage to tell her. Turns out she's been feeling the same way." He said, smiling widely. I smiled at Hansol's happy expression. Turning my head to Daniel oppa, who intertwined our hands, I looked at his softened gaze, making me melt inside. Then I looked down, feeling shy from his gaze, then instead placed my head on his shoulder. 

"So, how is she?" Daniel oppa asked. "She's doing good. I was there yesterday and I came back this morning. I decided to drop by here before heading back to the train station, when I ran into you, up front." Hansol said. 

"Enough about me. How did that happen?" Hansol asked, pointing at our held hands. I laughed, shaking my head at my ever blunt friend. "Sparks," I said, wiggling my eyebrows making them both laugh. "We became close because of work. We became friends first before I told her I wanted us to be more than that, and here we are." Daniel oppa said, raising our held hands at the end of his explanation. 

"How did you get her to say yes? I mean, knowing Eun. It must've been difficult convincing her to say yes. Especially that she always puts others before herself." Hansol said. I gave him an idle look, silently asking him if he was done talking. It's a true fact though. 

"I'm pretty persistent." Daniel oppa said, embarrassed. "It isn't going to be easy. But I was ready to risk it, for her." He said. I leaned back on the sofa, grabbing the pillow from my side and covering my blushing face with it. "Yah, are you embarrassed?" Daniel oppa asked. I nodded aggressively making them both laugh again. 

"I don't really want to pry or anything, I just hope that no harm comes to Eun." I pulled down the pillow, to my lap, and looked at Hansol. Last time I heard him this serious was when he was worried whether Dahyun would accept his feelings or not. So, it's been a while. 

"I know how popular you are, and that you have the whole country's eyes on you. So I just want to ask you, as her best friend. Please, take care of her. I hope that it's not too much to ask but you get where I'm coming from. I can feel that she's in good hands here in Seoul." Hansol said, stretching out his hand again for a handshake. I watched him, tears slightly forming in my eyes, as he shook Daniel oppa's hand for a handshake. Never did I imagine that Hansol would do this. I know he's a protective friend but I didn't know he would be saying these words. Even when I had a fling with someone before, he never really put it this way. 

"Also, thank you for making her happy. Every time I used to visit, she would complain about how hard school was and how much she regrets going back here in Korea." I chuckled, looking down back at my lap then back at Hansol. "But now, I see why she also took the risk for you." He said. Both Daniel oppa and I looked at him, smiling because of his words. When Hansol's ringing phone suddenly broke in the air. He briefly looked at the screen then showed it to me. His sister, Sofia, was calling. "That's my cue." He said, standing up.

"I'll call you later," Hansol said from the doorstep. I nodded, smiling at him. When he finished putting his shoes on, he opened his arms for a hug and I gave him one. Daniel oppa stood at the side, waiting for us to say our goodbyes. "If he makes you cry, let me know right away." He whispered making me laugh and nod my head. "Tell Sofia I miss her," I said, patting his back and finally breaking the hug. He nodded, waving his hand at me and bowing his head at Daniel oppa, who bowed back. 

We watched as the door slowly shut and make the clicking sound. I placed my head on Daniel oppa's shoulder when he placed his arm around me. "I always wondered who was that guy you had a crush on that turned into a close friend." He said. I laughed, lightly hitting his stomach. "I'm kind of glad he didn't like you back." He said. I turned to him, crossing my arms and tilting my head. I raised my brow at him, urging him to continue and state his point. "Because then you wouldn't have said yes to me," he said. I blinked at him and smiled down at my feet. "I actually still like him," I said when I looked up at him. He looked at me, not amused by what I said until he glared and left me there at the doorstep. 

I ran back to him, hugging him from behind, then kissed his shoulder. "But I love you," I said. He paused and didn't move for a while, making me anxious and nervous. 

I've been wanting to tell him the words but I couldn't gather the courage to do so until I heard what he said to Hansol earlier. His promise and his genuine words. It reached me. To break down the last of the wall I built to keep myself from people. I was an introvert, I used to shut people out. It reached the point that I got satisfied with having a very small circle of people who I trust and talk to. But he broke down that part of me, making me live and be awake, making me see that there was more to surviving in life. That it was beautiful. That love and to be loved is worth looking forward to waking up every day. And he made me see that. 

He slowly turned around, took my hands and kissed my knuckles. He gr