November 13, 2017
5:17 PM

I groaned, throwing my notebook on the table. I checked the time and sighed out loud, stretching my neck back then sideways. "About time you placed that down. It's 3 hours past lunch. And you haven't eaten anything." Jieun sunbae said, handing my third cup of tea. I mouthed her a thank you before she left again to serve the other customers.

I quickly checked my phone and saw no new messages from Daniel oppa. "He must be busy," I whispered to myself. Not an issue. His work should come first. He worked so hard for it so this is ok. I can just stop by their place later. They're probably staying up late again tonight. They're having their comeback so they're preparing hardcore for their comeback showcase. Speaking of...

I went through my planner and scanned their schedule. Their comeback showcase is in three hours. Then their music show promotions are going to start this week. Then more fan meetings after that. Most likely the extension for wanna one GO recording will start so they're probably shooting that as well this week. Then there are the award shows-

"Wow. They're really busy." I said to myself. I suddenly felt guilty and sorry for them and their overused bodies. They must be so sleep deprived. Just then, a pair of hands covered my eyes. "Guess who?" He whispered. I smiled widely at the sound of a male voice thinking it's Daniel oppa, letting go and turning around only to meet someone else. "Haesung Sunbae," I said, backing away from shock. "Hi." He waved his hand. "Is that seat taken?" He asked pointing to the seat in front of me. I shook my head no, unable to speak. He pulled it out and sat on it, placing his bag on the seat beside him.

"I didn't see you earlier," I said. We had our test on Anatomy and I was a little worried that he overslept or something. "I rescheduled mine. It had a conflict with my work." he said. "You work?" I asked. "Yeah. Just recently. I took part in our family business. I had something to take care of there and I came back just now." He said. That explains his office clothes.

"So, when are you taking yours?" I asked. "In an hour." He said, showing me a not so happy smile. I laughed and handed him my notes. "Here. Read something." I said. "Thanks." He sheepishly said, taking my notebook and started scanning through it.

He looked at my other notebook, specifically the one that I just threw. "This is not medical?" He stated, more like asked. "Ah. No. It's not. I'm taking a different test tomorrow. I'm applying for a double major."  I said. He howled lowly. "I'm just trying my luck for it. If it doesn't work it, I'll focus on my major now." I said. "Still. A double major? With a medical major? And you have work. That's incredible." He said. I kept quiet.

"Why?" He asked, cautious upon bringing up the topic. I shook my head and smiled. "It's nothing. I was just thinking." I said. "Care to share your thoughts with a friend?" He asked. I looked at him, skeptical about his motives. Why is he pushing me to talk?

"Why do I feel like you're trying to pull on something from me?" I jokingly asked. "Why do you think?" He threw back a question. We stared at each other for a while. I tried to read whatever he wanted for me to get but I gave up, seeing no point to it. "Forget about it." I laughed, stopping the interrogation. I have male friends who pull off this kind of trick on my friends. And I am not oblivious enough to not notice it.

"I think you know." He said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his legs. "Tell me. What do I know?" I told him, leaning forward and placing my clasped hands on top of my knees. My legs were already crossed and I previously was leaning back in my chair.

"You know that I like you and I'm making a move on you." He said, leaning forward, bringing his face inches away from mine. I blinked. I didn't expect him to come out like this, blunt and bold. I leaned back, unclasping my hands. He leaned back as well, sighing.

"I didn't mean to go on strong like that. I'm sorry." He said. I looked down at my hands then at him. "I have a boyfriend," I said. He stiffened. "I'm sorry. I didn't even ask. I just assumed..." he started but I cut him off.  "You don't have to be. I'm the one who's sorry. I can't return your feelings...And I was really looking forward to being friends with you." I said, quietly mentioning the last part.

"We can still be friends." He said, stretching out his hand for a handshake. I looked at him, skeptical and doubtful of his words. What just happened? One minute he confessed and now he's saying we should stay friends? But he urged his hand, for me to shake. So I shook his hand, immediately pulling back and smiling awkwardly at him.


"So. What's he like?" He asked. I stared at him. "Are you kidding me?" I asked. "What? I thought we could be friends?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders. "Seriously?" I asked again. He just shrugged his shoulders. I looked at him confused as hell. "Why do you want to know?" I asked. "A picture then?" He asked. "No," I answered. What is he getting at? "His name?" He asked. I shook my head no. "Ok, last attempt. His age?" He asked. "22," I answered, after much hesitation.

"Oh. His the same age as me." He said smiling. So what's his point? "I'm guessing his Korean?" He asked. "What do you think?" I said. "Sassy. Hmm." He laughed. He was slowly getting on my nerves.

"Can we drop this and talk about something else?" I said, sighing. "You're not even reading the notes and you have a test in like, 40 minutes," I said to him after I checked the time. "And you?" He asked. "I'm done for the day," I said, packing my things. "Woaw. Leaving already? I just got here." He said. "I was just packing them. So I can eat."  I said.

Sighing out of frustration, I stood up but stopped briefly by his side. "Do you want anything?" I asked him, letting out a breath to calm myself down. He shook his head no. "I'll be back,"I said as I took my wallet from the table and went to the counter, deciding whether to order my usual or not.

"You sound and look pissed," Jisoo-ssi said to me while he placed in my order once I have decided. "My head hurts," I said instead. "Is that guy bothering you?" He asked. I nodded my head. "He kept on bugging me to tell me about my boyfriend when I told him I have one," I said, secretly rubbing my temples.

"Why would he bug you about that?" he asked, while he turned around to prepare my order. "He just told me he  has romantic feelings for me, and I flat out told him I have someone as a rejection statement," I said. He turned around slowly and looked at me. I nodded, telling him that I wasn't joking.  

"Wait. You know him, right?" he asked, pausing in shock. "Yes. He's my senior." I said. He lowkey smiled that made me ask him why he was smiling. "It's just... You get to spend more time with this dude at school than your man. And from what I heard, you're going to see less of your boyfriend." I sighed. He made a good point. Too good of a point.

At that exact moment, Jieun sunbae came and stood beside me. "Wow. What didn't you tell him?" I said to her. "What are you talking about?" She asked. "My boyfriend? Quitting my job? Ring a bell?" I asked her. She widened her eyes, then she looked at her boyfriend who stood behind the counter. "How could you expose me like that?" She said instead, slapping her boyfriend's arm. "What? She brought it up and I thought I could help. She's like my little sister you know." Jisoo-ssi said, messing up my hair.

"You two are unbelievable. Nobody else should know about this. Please." I begged them. "We got you little kid," Jisoo-ssi said. "We'll keep your secret safe saeng." Jieun sunbae said, hugging my shoulder. I looked at her, with that 'really now' expression making her laugh shyly and bring out her pinky for a pinky promise. I let out a  sigh and gave her the pinky promise. "Thank you sunbae, Jisoo-ssi," I said, looking at them both.

"You know what? That. That's the problem. When are you going to fix that? It's been three years. You've never called us eonnie and oppa." Jieun sunbae said. I waved my hand at them, shrugging it off. "I'll try it next time," I said, getting my order and walking back to my table.


"Friends of yours?" Haesung sunbae asked. I nodded. Before eating my food, I placed down my fork and faced him. He raised a brow, urging me to tell him whatever it is I want to say to him. "About my boyfriend, can you...not... mention it to anyone? Please?" I said. "What makes you think that I'll tell?" He asked. "You're a socialite. It's not that I don't trust you. I just don't want people asking about him when they find out."  I said.

"Why don't you want to talk about him? Are you...ashamed?" He asked cautiously. "No. Of course not. If ever, I'm most proud of him. I want to brag about him. But It's a bother when people might start asking questions about him." I said, lying about the last part. I looked down at my food and started to twirl my pasta with my fork, thinking about what I just said.

It's true. My urge to announce to the world how much I love Kang Daniel is as thin as his laughter wall. If people knew about our relationship, I don't mind answering people's questions about him and our relationship. Because I became happy, he made and still makes me happy. But he's also the reason why I'm holding myself back so much. So as much as I want to talk about him, I won't. Because I want to protect him. And not sabotage everything he did to get to where he is now.

"Sure you can. I mean unless he's famous or something right?" He said, laughing. I laughed as well. If only he knew... Thankfully, he let me finish my late lunch while he actually went ahead to read my notes for his test. 15 minutes before the time, we both were done and ready to go.


"Goodluck on your test sunbae," I said when he closed the door after I passed. "Has anyone ever told you this? You're too kind to a person whose confession you just rejected?" He said, putting his hands in his pockets because of the sudden breeze. "No. Cause no one really confesses." I laughed, shivering in the process because the cold wind suddenly got stronger. He must've noticed because he took off his jacket and wore it around me. I stood still, quiet until he was finished.

"Sunbae. I already told you-" "I know. I know. I'm only doing this as a friend and as a senior who cares about his lower classman." He said, laughing it off. I looked down at my shoes, then back at him, meeting his eyes with all seriousness. He gulped, looking back at me as well. "I'll let this go. But after this. Please stop with the gestures. Hate me instead. Be mad at me or something." I said, as soft and gentle as I can possibly make with my tone.

He smiled and chuckled. "Don't mind me Eun. I'll be ok. I'm only 22. This will pass. 2 years is nothing. Psh." He said, waving his hand telling me to forget about it. I sighed. He's right. He's still young. And this is probably just a passing phase for both of us. 2 years is- wait...what? My brows furrowed at what he said.

"2 years? What are you talking about?" I asked. He let out a quiet gasp then quickly recovered from his realization. "Oh right...Nevermind that." He said, laughing it off. "No. What's with the 2 years?" I stubbornly asked. I took a step forward and stood my ground.

"Wow. This is really pathetic." He let out an awkward laugh. "See, I actually met you... 2 years ago, during the welcoming party for the freshmen in our department, your batch. And that night...that was when I realized I started to be attracted to you" He said. I blinked in shock. He had a crush on me...for 2 years?.......What?

"What?" I voiced out. I'm so shocked I can't even say anything. The two words that only ran through my head were 'What' and..."Sorry." He combed back his hair, holding the back of his neck in a shy way. "It's ok. I mean, I had 2 whole years to tell you how I feel and when I finally did, you already have someone." He said, letting out a straight smile. I looked down at my shoes. Unable to meet his eyes because of guilt. I was suddenly reminded of the time when my eyes came across my watch.

"Sunbae. Your test..." I said, my words drifting. He clapped his hand and checked his watch. "Right. I'll go. I'll...see you around." He said, reaching out his hand for a handshake. With much hesitation, I gave in and reached out my hand to him, shaking his hand. A handshake. It's the least I could do to comfort him.

"I'll see you in class," I said, looking up and smiling at him. "And sunbae..." I started. "Yes?" "Thank you. For telling me. And for liking me, for the past years." I said, blushing because of embarrassment. I am really awkward about this kind of things. Wow.

He chuckled and nodded. He flipped our held hands, brought them up to his lips, and kissed the back of my hand, all in a flash. I quickly pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. "I forgot to tell you, I didn't say I was giving up." He smirked, rather charmingly. "See you Eun." He said, backing up and running towards the bus stop. Just in time, it came. He went inside and waved his hand one last time before the bus drifted away in sight. I too, went my own way and went home.


On the bus ride home, I looked up Haesung sunbae online. I don't really know anything about him, and it made me feel bad. So I looked him up a little. I found his twitter and Instagram account. I checked his twitter account and read his bio. My eyes widened.

@Dr_Haesung
Jeon Wonwoo.
Pleased to meet you ;)

"Jeon Wonwoo?" I asked out loud. I quickly opened my kakao talk and sent a text to one of my close friends from school.

'Hey, what do you know about Haesung sunbae?' I asked.
'Why do you want to know? Hmm?' she asks.
'His name is Jeon Wonwoo. Their family owns the Haesung hospital, hence the name Haesung.' she adds.
My eyes widened and I was gasping already in shock.

'The Haesung hospital? He's very rich then.' I said.
'Yeah. He's taking over their main branch here in Seoul after he graduates. For now, I think he's handling their heart center and a few other clinics. Why the sudden curiosity?' she asks again.

Sighing, I asked myself the same question. Oh right. Because I feel bad about not knowing anything about him, not even his real name. And yet, he's been crushing on me for 2 years. Wow. I can never get used to that.

'Just cause. Thanks anyway.' I replied, putting my phone back in my bag. Clicking the button by my wi