That’s when it all began, the short vacation I planned which got extended because of a ‘forever’ he promised.

I showed him parts of me which I never knew myself, things were getting better every day.

Sometimes I wonder, is it the person I miss? Or the routine I have got so used to, that I miss?

 

 

 

“It’s hard when you miss people. But, you know, if you miss them it means you were lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing.”

-Nathan Scott (via idktorn) : unsaidphrases

 

 

 

Chapter 2: That one spring

 

“Hey” Haneul popped her head into the practice room to find two of the boys inside

“Haneul” Yun waved excitedly at her as June looked up, a towel over his head

“Where are the rest?” she asked walking in

“They left to buy food, June wasn’t feeling that good so I decided to keep him company” Yun smiled as June eyed the elder

“Yeah go tell to the whole of Yg fam that I’m not feeling well” he muttered as he felt Haneul come and sit next to him

“You’re sick?” she asked as June hung his head embarrassed, the towel still over his head.

“Yahhh” Haneul pouted

“I’ll go get water” Yun said immediately escaping the scene leaving an embarrassed June and stunned Haneul behind.

“Are you okay?” she asked as June nodded

“It’s been two weeks since I came and everyone is comfortable with each other except us” she muttered as June looked at her as she sulked

“Wae? Why would we be awkward?” he asked looking at her as she looked at the floor rocking herself casually

“I feel like you don’t like it that I’m around you and you keep avoiding me, I don’t know why” Haneul said as June chuckled

“it’s just awkward to talk when the boys are around” he said as Haneul looked at him

“So you don’t hate me?” she asked as June shook his head

“Why would I hate you?” he said looking away and stood up

“Well...because you don’t like my aura” Haneul said immediately standing up with June

“I don’t think so” he said turning to her as she raised her head up to meet eyes with the tall vocalist.

“Friends?” she asked offering her hand for a shake as the latter took it

“More like it” he said chuckling as Haneul smiled nodding.

 

 

I guess that’s when it all started.

It was never cockiness or cheesiness that led me into love. It was way to showing things to me that made me happy, before long I was falling for him.

I left pieces of him everywhere.

Rain비? Rain held the most memories. Memories of how we’d purposely get wet in the rain and play for hours.

Coffee 커피? Coffee itself was June. He loved coffee and I loved coffee because he loved it.

Songs 노래들? The hardest thing was the songs. After our breakup, I had nothing but a playlist full of I never listened to.

His hoodie that had now lost its scent, the polaroids that were now faded...

I prayed for both my happiness and his happiness as well and maybe that’s why we never ran into each other again.

Perhaps one memory that can never fade was the day I surrendered myself completely to him, only to be destroyed by him five months later.

사랑 이었음에 틀림 없다.

 

 

“Haneul, where are you?” Bobby’s voice said in a panicked tone as Haneul answered the call

“I’m in appa’s office sorting out some things, why?” Haneul asked merrily

“June...come to our practice room fast...June” Bobby said as Haneul blinked

“June? Is anything wrong with him?” Haneul asked worriedly as she exited her dad’s office straight to the practice rooms

Haneul remembered June telling her about a fever he was running a few days ago. Was it because the guys were overworking? Or was he really sick?

Haneul ran into the dimly lit practice room as she made her way towards June who was sitting with his head hung low

“June? Where are the boys? Why are you alone?” Haneul panicked as she went to sit next to June

“You really came?” he asked with a chuckle as Haneul tried to read his face

“W-where are the boys?” she asked looking at June as the guys stood up and the entire room lit up

 

Balloons, banners, confetti and decors...Was I missing something?

 

“Haneul-ah” June’s voice called as Hanuel looked around confused

“I’m not sick” he said as Haneul finally let out her breath in relief

"Then why was Bobby calling me and doing all that and panicking me telling me you—”

“Because I told him to” June said as Haneul looked glared at June

“Yang Hanuel, just listen to me nicely alright?” June said taking her hand in his as she stared at him

“Ever since I met you, I’ve been feeling something I never did before...I just want you to know that what I am feeling, I know what it is and I want you know about it too. I’m tired of watching you from afar...I know it’s just been a few months since we got to know each other but I really want you to know that I know it’s true ...” June said as he sighed

“Just be my girlfriend alright?” he said as Haneul looked at him

“Please?” he said looking at her as Haneul nodded chuckling

“I love you” June said cupping her face as Haneul smiled

“I love you too” she said.

 

Me and June were just the same, those same old kids in love.

Calling each other and constantly missing each other.

Nothing was happier than the news that ikon would take a break soon for some time because I knew it meant that me and June could be together again.

Everyday I woke up and wore the same old smile with the same thoughts.

How are you June?

Did you have your food on time, June?

Do you miss me, June?

Everything about me was made up of June.

The huge poster I had in my room was June.

The shirt I decided to wear belonged to June.

He was everywhere... Fragments of him could be found everywhere around me. That's how much I missed him. How much he was missing from me.

Those sleepless nights I'd spend crying just because I got his cologne out of nowhere.

Those lifeless days I'd spend staring into nothing at particular, drinking our favourite coffee.

I made everything around me look like June and feel like June...

Even distance couldn't minimize the feeling I had for him..

I could start fires with what I felt for him...

Every day passed by like that till that day.

The day my heart shattered into a million pieces...

Maybe to be picked up by someone, or maybe just remain that way for my entire life.

 

 

Who knew...

“And five months later, you’ll call him crying on the kitchen floor because you missed him so much and he won’t answer...”

 

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