23 . Since  the day Taehyung told me he was leaving , 23 became my least favorite number . And today is the 23rd  . I called yesterday to ask when the flight for south Korea was leaving and they said 9am .
I shut my alarm down and rush to dress .
Taehyung said he didn’t want to see me , but I can’t let him go without seeing him .
It’s been a month we didn’t meet , ever since we came back from that trip .
I had made the mistake to text him several times but sooner remembered he didn’t want to hear anything from me before leaving so I just texted him I was sorry .
I’ve went to watch him from afar several times . I prayed for him to catch me watching him and run to me like he would always do , with a soft gaze and open arms . But he never did .
It’s been a month since the last time our eyes met , and a month that we didn’t talk . Sure , I’m not dead , but my life turned into a circle of boredom . I would always find myself dialing his number or rushing to the café to tell him about my day . I would always catch myself locked in the thought of him . I would always try to shake him away off my head but would always end up running to watch him from afar . I , now , stalk my best friend . How did I end up so pathetic ?  
I hate how easy it was for him not to talk to me for a whole month .
He’s been laughing , I saw him laugh , a lot of times . He’s been happy without me around . I’ve been miserable without him around . But I wouldn’t blame him , if Taehyung never talks to me again , I’ll be sure there’s definitely something wrong with me .
I shove my legs in some jeans my hands landed on , and my head In some shirt I saved from a big messy bundle of clothes . I put my boots on , and sooner , I was in a taxi , driving to the airport .
I sit there waiting for Taehyung to come . I open his profile on my phone but never hit the “call” button . He didn’t want me in his life right now . He needed some space away from me and I’m giving it to him .
And here he was , walking inside the airport , rolled , like a burrito , In loads of clothes , dragging behind him a couple of suitcases . Seunghyun was with him , holding a bag for him . So he preferred Seunghyun with him over me , right ?
I jump from my seat when I noticed they were walking my direction , and rush to hide somewhere they couldn’t see me .
I watch Taehyung as he checked in for his flight . He smiled at the lady who handed him his passport back , then mumbled an infinity of words to Seunghyun as they shared a manly hug .I watch them and wish I could hug him one last time . But he didn’t want it , and I got used not to always get what I want .
Seunghyun lifted his gaze to meet mine . He started pointing at me and I gestured at him not to do it . Their hug lasted a few more seconds and they parted away . Seunghyun finally patted Tae’s back a few times sending him away .
I watch him walk farther, not looking back even once . He didn’t care anymore about the things he left here . He didn’t care anymore about me .
As soon as he disappeared off my view , my tears started flowing silently down my cheeks . I hide my face in my hands and sob , turning to face the wall . I can’t believe this was actually happening . I can’t believe this happened , now out of all times .
The idea of Seunghyun coming to comfort me didn’t appeal to me just as much . I didn’t want anyone being sorry for me . I didn’t need anyone helping . I didn’t want anyone around me right now , besides Taehyung . But he was gone . And this might be the end of a friendship I really cherished.
I rush out of the place for him not to find me and immediately head to campus , then to my room .

“Thank you , man !” Mumbled Taehyung pulling me into a hug .
“Be healthy !” I advise hugging him back .
“She’ll be all alone now . If she needs someone , please , take care of her for me . She’ll be thinking I gave up on her and on our friendship , but I didn’t . I didn’t even listen to my own parents on this one . They are totally against it , and my dad exploded in a long session of anger when I called him to tell him about it . This is what I always wanted to do and I can’t just give up on this opportunity .”
I nod and pat his back setting him free to go . And he left .
I spotted Amani earlier while hugging him , but I can’t see her anymore . I look around , but there was no trace of her . I immediately try to call ,but again , she wasn’t available .
 

***
Someone in the room above mine dropped a shoe and I wake up in surprise . I cursed for five minutes , three of them were pure cursing , and the two others were cursing and crying .
I cried because the truth that I have no one to go to when I’m feeling lonely hit me like a wrecking ball , destroying every stable part of my emotions . I have no one , now . My parents and family all live in the other side of the ocean , and for the first time in three years , I felt like an intruder .
It’s been three months since Taehyung left . I’ve been doing quite good without him until the break came to ruin it .
I check my calendar and realize there was still a whole week before the final results were scheduled . And I’m impatiently waiting for it . At least , then , since I’ll definitely fail something , I’ll be busy studying it all over again and won’t be much concerned about having a