His words resonated in my ears over and over again . Leaving ? No . Please, god , make it that I’m just having hallucinations .

“What ? Where ?

“Remember when I just randomly talked to you about that audition for that company last year ?”

“Yea .”

“I took it , and I got in . I’ve been training for a year now , and trying to make as much money as I can because I have to go to South Korea to meet my band mates.”

“Your band mates ?”
“Yes , I’ll be in a boy group with six other guys . “

“But , Tae . How about your phd ? If you work on it for only six more months , you can get your degree and then you can do what you want . I can find someone to help you out .  I can help you out .”

“Amani , I’ll have to go in a month, the 23rd next month . I’ll never manage to finish my project before that and I’ll end up making a fool out of myself .”

“ Taehyung , this is serious . You’ve been working hard for this phd . You studied seven years all to reach that level and to have your phd  . How can you just give up on it ? “

“Amy , I c…”

“I am NOT letting you do this , Tae . You can’t do this . What if this boy group thing doesn’t work ? Ha? You would’ve lost the opportunity to get a phd , just like that . Do you know what people do to find a tutor for their phd ? Professors have been chasing you to tutor yours and you’re just going to give up on it , now ? You’ve been working on this for the whole past year , you can’t give it up like that . “

“I can take my time to finish it . ”

“Taehyung . I’m not letting you do this to yourself . I can’t let you just waste all your hard work . There’s no way .”

“It’s not for you to decide . It’s my life . “

“And I’m part of it . And I’ll be part of it for the next 100 years . “

He again stared at me then hugged me out of nowhere . Emotion crossed my whole body and I start crying , encircling his waist really tight in my short arms .

“Please, don’t leave me alone , Taehyung .” I cry against his chest .

I can’t count how many times I cry , but I cried way more than usual ,lately . A lot . Taehyung can’t just leave like this . He can’t leave me face this world alone .

“You have to let me go , Amani . It’ll just get harder this way . Sooner , we’ll have to let go of each other . You’re still a girl, and I’m still a guy . We’re going to have to get married one day , and we’ll be forced to end this friendship .”

I understand . I really do understand what he means. He doesn’t want me or him to hurt the day we’ll part away .
I stare at him for a moment , and like in those cliché movies , I recall all the beautiful moments we had . I examine every part of him for a moment, trying to get enough of him in . But it’ll never be enough , and he’ll never know how precious he is to me . I take the only step separating us and reach out to his hair running my fingers through it and remembering that day I braided it for him as a bet and he had to keep it that way for a whole week . I cup his face in my hands and run my thumb on his lips , remembering when they were all swollen from fighting with that girl’s guy friend for me . I take his neck and feel its heat against my palms before feeling his large shoulders then down his arms, reaching his big hands . He intertwined our fingers and I take his hands tighter, looking at them , remembering all the things they handed me , all the tears these long fingers wiped off my cheeks , all the wounds they almost healed . I exploded in tears lifting his hands to my lips and kissing them with all my will , these hands that gave me almost everything I needed for more than two years now . I kiss them so fondly to thank them for ev