“Amani ?”A far away voice called my name .
“Amy?” It called again .
I slowly part my eyelids and totally jump sitting up .
“Namjoon?”
“You cried to sleep ?” He asked .
“Yes . I slept .” I answer rubbing my eyes .
“Why are you here now ? Did you guys finish the concert ?” I wonder .
“No , it’s Jimin’s solo , remember ?”
“Yea .”
He dragged a chair before mine and sat .
“Now , tell me everything.”
I sigh in frustration rubbing every corner and curve of my face .
“I ed up , Namjoon . I ed up real bad .”
“Well , it was obvious you did , but I want more details !”
I sigh , again , in frustration , tightly pulling on my hair .
“Can I be honest with you , Namjoon ?”
“Yes .”
“Ok , I’ll be honest , but I’m only expecting one and only thing back .”
“Which is ?”
“Don’t judge me . Try to see it from my point of view . Please .”
“Ok , I won’t judge .”
I wrap my fingers around a neglected water bottle that’s been standing there , on that table, for whoever knows how long , waiting that someone deigns fill it , drink of it , or even touch it .
“I find myself in a situation I’m too young to deal with or to even understand .”
“Tell me !”
“Well , I’ve known Taehyung for more than three years now . I’ve loved him like I’ve never loved a man . The thing is , I never knew I did . In my brain , he was just really close .. No , he was the only friend I had . I loved him and trusted him unconditionally . After a year of friendship , someone had to show up ..” I finish telling him all the story , every detail . “ And now I don’t know which one of them I love the most . Seunghyun was the first man I had feelings for . . or at least the first one I realized I had feelings for . And Taehyung . .  Well , Taehyung was … is the most important person in my life . His place in my heart is right underneath my parents’ . Nobody ever did what Taehyung did for me , and all I did was hurt him .” I finish , wiping off some silent tears that slid along my cheeks .
Namjoon patted on my hands that were still wrapped around that bottle .
“I don’t know what to say , Amani .”
“I knew you would judge me.” I silently wipe my tears off .
“I’m not judging you , Amy . It looks like it’s so hard on you !”
I nod .
“I suggest you go see the other guy one last time . You know , just to see how it would make you feel after what just happened with Taehyung !”
“No . . No ! I don’t want to lose Taehyung !”
“You won’t ! Whether you chose him or the other guy , he’s too doomed into you to hate on you or even hold grudges .”
“Uuuugh ….” I sigh again . “That’s exactly what I’m talking about , Joon . That’s exactly what I’m talking about !”
He paused for a moment .
“Look , Amy . Go see the other guy ! Right now ! It’s the right moment to do it .”
“It’s not !”
“It is , Amani . Your emotions are still pretty triggered . If you see him now , and get to talk to him , you would know how he makes you feel . Do not restrain yourself from saying anything that comes to your mind , or doing anything you feel the need to do .. Just . .  Just let it happen , ok ?”
“Are you sure about this ?” I ask one last time .
“Yes . Trust me . Ok ?”
I nod . He stood up rushing to my seat and made me stand up . He pushed me to the door .
“Come on ! Go , go , go !”
Thankful , I smile and rush out . With quick steps ,  I leave the building . I try to find Seunghyun’s address on the browser , hoping his company is big enough for internet to contain its owner’s address . I scroll down on my way to the bus’ stop . All I found were articles about the company’s achievements .
Oh , here’s a picture . A picture with no address .
I look around in the bus station and find a young girl reading a book .
“Excuse me , Miss ?”
She raised her eyes on me in anticipation .
“Do you know where this place is ?”
She nodded but didn’t look like she could speak English . I gestured for her to write down the address for me and she did .
Sooner , I left the Taxi that drove me to the neighborhood she said . I start looking for the house on the picture . Twenty minutes later, I found it . I stand in front of his door . There’s a 50% chance that this isn’t his house , but it’s a risk I’m taking for my own ease and comfort .
I push the button .
A “Ding Ding Dong” sound echoed .
It didn’t take long for the door to open and I spot a thin Seunghyun rushing from the inside .
“Amani , how did you find me ?”
“It doesn’t matter !” I sigh trying not to cry .
I love him . I love Seunghyun. But I love Taehyung too .
I love Seunghyun and I know it now , because at the sight of him , the only thing I could think of was finally collapsing inside his arms . He rushed my way , not knowing what he should do . I notice his shaking hands, his swollen eyes , I could smell whine in his hot breath . My own hands were shaking .
“Don’t restrain from saying or doing whatever you feel the need to .” Namjoon’s voice echoed in my brain .
His eyes were wide open , watching my gestures . I stretch my hand to reach his because I was too afraid to take a step forwards  . He looked at me , as if he wanted to take permission . I nod and finally take his hand that he’s been offering for over nine months . He closed his eyes in ease while some chills , that I couldn’t describe , crossed my whole existence . I felt safe , again .
The door closed loudly , sending echoes in the house . We both jump in surprise and end it with a giggle . I missed his smile . I watch his lips in slow motion , stretching to the sides to offer me a view to his teeth . My lungs didn’t try to hide their need to oxygen , and I find myself breathing faster . Faster the closer I moved his direction . Faster the closer I felt his heat .
I cup his face in both my hands . His smile faded , and his eyes teared up . No , please don’t cry !

I held my breath in surprise . Not even in my dreams did I think I would ever have the privilege to live this moment . In my wildest dreams , I held hands with her , I hugged her tight while she told me how much she loves me , but never could I ever imagine this happening of how unlikely it sounded .
I notice I’m ignoring her initiation being too into my thoughts . If this is a dream , I don’t want to ever wake up from it . I hold the back of her head in both my hands and kiss her back  . I finally ease my lungs and breath out . She is so gentle , her lips are soft and she kissed me slowly but still passionately . The good it gave me made me cry . I feel a tear leaving the corner of my right eye and I immediately explode in tears afterwards . I cry against her lips , kissing her deeper . I don’t want to ever let go , but she ended our kiss . Before I could feel the void she left , she jumped into my arms , every spot in my cheek . I cry further in happiness . Deep inside , I know this won’t last , so for now , I will enjoy it as much as I can .
I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her warm neck . I missed her warmth .
“I missed  you .” I end up whispering .  
She parted away from me and turned away to wipe her tears . I still didn’t get enough of her . I don’t think I ever will . I approach her from behind and lean to kiss the back of her neck .
She flinched in surprise and then giggled .
“Let’s go inside .” I suggest taking her hand .
She nodded and walked with me .
With the first step inside , I rush to pick up all the empty whine bottles and burnt cigarettes . I clean up a spot for her on the closest sofa but she refused to sit down.
“I’m starving .” She complained .
I smile . She’s cute to a deadly level . I follow her as she jumped her way to find my kitchen , then my fridge  .
“Wouaaaah !!! It’s desert here . Sahara , man !”
I shamefully giggle .
“Let’s order something !” She suggested .
“What do you want ? “
“You’re the man of the house !”  
“You’re its lady !”
She shyly looked down , a slight pink covering her cheeks . She’s so cute , and so beautiful .
“Can I kiss you again ?”
She giggled confusing me .
“Seunghyun ! I’m starving