Flash Back
I lock my screen .
I watch the rain falling off the infinity of the sky and pictured Seunghyun walking hand in hand with Abigail . They both were so beautiful together  , and I’m no one to intrude . I just wish Taehyung could stay with me a little more over the phone , I would’ve felt ease hearing his voice and talked to him on my way home . But now , I have a long and silent way to take until I finally get home .
I watch the grey sky further , thinking of my life and how better it would’ve been if I was a little better looking, a little more educated , a little funnier , a little more charming , a little more likeable . I wonder how better my life would be if only I met Seunghyun’s taste . But who am I to meet anyone’s taste at all ? Who am I to make anyone’s heart beat any faster ?
I tried not to cry , but the sight of the rain and the sound of the water drops against the ground made it almost impossible for me . I watch the drops collapse against the grey ground losing themselves in tiny lakes of water . I feel so small I thought I would drown if I walk into one of them . A silent tear slid down my left cheek . I stand off of the stairs and walk out under the rain , aiming to nothing but to hide my tears . I look up to the sky again , I couldn’t make the difference between my own tears and the rain drops , so I just give myself the pleasure to cry . It’s not like anyone would care at all , or even notice .

“Are you crazy ? You’re going to catch a really bad cold !” Scolded a voice I really liked .

I thought it was just my imagination for a moment , I thought him standing in front of me was just a picture my brain was making .  But the warmth of his coat on my shoulders and the heat of his arms dragging me towards his black car couldn’t be an imagination .
He pushed me into the backseat and rushed to his own . As soon as he closed his door , he started a long session of scolding . Why does he even bother ? Does he want to look like a good friend in front of her, for example ?
I sarcastically giggle at the thought of it .

“Just , why the hell are you laughing , now ?” He scolded further .

“It’s funny . All of this is so funny . You sound like you actually really care about me .” I smirk .

I don’t mind her being around . I don’t know why , but as much as I try to convince myself that she might be a nice person , I don’t like her . I don’t like her because Seunghyun hid something from me because of her. He hid her from me . I wish to kidnap him somewhere far away from her , but who am I to decide ?
He kept silent for the rest of the drive , and I knew the moment he parked in front of campus that it was going to get super heated .
I rush towards the building as soon as I left his car . I almost ran , but he caught me so violently I thought he would take my arm off . I whine to the pain .

“What’s wrong with you , Amani ?” He complained .

“Just … let me go, Seunghyun . Ok ?” I gently ask .

“No . Not before you tell me what’s wrong .”
“You don’t need me around anymore , now . You have someone else with you . I’ve been there when you needed me , now you don’t need me anymore .” I smile through the pain .

“So that’s what it is ? You’re jealous ? That’s it ?” He amusingly ask .

I storm away and he caught me again , pulling me into a hug . I’m scared . It scares me whenever he hugs me because i don’t know how I’m supposed to understand it. I don’t like being touched , let only by someone I desire a lot . I push myself off him .

“I hope you good luck . Please , don’t hurt her , and don’t hurt yourself . I’ll be here , always , if you ever need me .” I smile silently walking away .

That was a lie , actually . I’m leaving , and he’s never seeing me , ever again .


I can’t stand summer . The heat of it crosses my flesh and melts my bones sending fire to my brain , which I obviously don’t find so appealing . Being in this café doesn’t help as well , the air