I take a deep breath . My heart crossed my chest for how fast it was beating . If i do this now , my whole life will change . If i choose to do this now , i’m choosing the next 30 or 50 years of my life , maybe even the rest of it .

But when i think about it , it won’t change , i’ll just be living it the way i’ve always unconsciously wanted to live it . My life , i had chosen a way to live it . A way where i won’t hurt anyone by my choices because i know how bad it feels to be hurt . It feels like someone is tearing every heartstring on its own , slowly , painfully . It made me happy not to hurt people . I always believed that by being good to people , i’ll end up getting rewarded by the thing i craved the most in life : a man that would unconditionally love me . I thought that by trying my best not to hurt people , i’ll end up being able to finally prove myself wrong and fall in love with someone . Little did i know , i got rewarded long ago with that second prize , i just was too stubborn to even believe or think of it at all . But now , there was no going back , i came all this way for him and i’m not leaving until i make sure he knows he’s the man i unconsciously craved for the past three years .

I drag my suitcases behind me , trying to walk inside the bulding , looking for someone i could talk to . The security guard stop me in the way , but since he could barely understand a word i was saying , he helped me in and walked me to a large glass counter where a couple of girls sat , dressed fancily .

He explained something to them one of them looked up at me and smiled :

“how can i help you , miss ?” she started .

“I’m here to see mister Kim Taehyung “ i answer

She giggled and before she could say what’s on her mind , i add .

“Please , don’t get me wrong . I’m not some crazy fan . I’m a close friend of his and it’s been a while we didn’t meet , i just wanted to come here to surprise him . “

She looked at me , barely believing me . I’m not lying to her , he really is a close friend . I grab my phone i put earlier on the counter and unlock it . I go through the hundred of pictures i had with Taehyung and showed them to her . I then open my texts with him and showed them to her . I was restless to the fact that she might not believe me .

“well , you don’t look like you’re lying .” she smiled . “but why didn’t you just call him” .

“i want to surprise him.”

“ So , Kim Taehyung-ssi is out on a schedule now , with his band members , he must be here by any . . .”

She got interrupted by a noise coming from out the main door .

“He’s here “ she smiled .

I look at the BTS guys walking in one after one , but i only had eyes for Taehyung . He had his earphones on and looked like he haven’t had sleep for the past forever .  I look at him , like i would look at my final destination . I look at his slanting eyes falling into  black circles he was trying to hide under some stands of hair he let down over them .

He slid his eyes around , glancing at m