The next day, ShinB decides to observe her own behaviour and takes into consideration her every reaction around Yuju. Every battling of an eyelid, every heartbeat against her chest, ShinB takes note and tries to understand herself. 

She realises how her eyes see Yuju so differently from how they see the rest of the world. She discovers that Yuju is her world, that Yuju is what she wants to look at for the rest of her life. She finds that Yuju's smile is exactly what she lives for, and if there are any streaks of tears on her face ShinB wants to be the one to wipe them off. 

Yes, ShinB can finally admit with peace, I'm sure now I'm in love with her. ShinB begins to understand how to enjoy the heart-fluttering moments, and enjoy the goodness of being in love.

"Hwangbi, don't just sit there, your dishes won't magically clean themselves," ShinB is startled when she hears Sowon walking over to the dining table. She sighs, having spaced out while thinking of Yuju, again. 

"Not unless you help me," ShinB answers wittily when she recollects herself after a second. 

"And why would I?" Sowon raises an eyebrow, obviously not amused.

"Because I am not feeling well after fainting?" ShinB replies in the same tone. 

"That's four days ago and you're obviously good now, considering how crazy you were these two days," Sowon bluntly answers while shuffling her feet past ShinB. 

"How was I crazy?" ShinB narrows her eyes at the leader. 

"Being yourself," Sowon answers and chuckles a little. 

ShinB narrows her eyes and releases a huff as she gives up talking to Sowon, standing up to collect the empty plate and dirtied cutlery.

As she drags herself into the kitchen, she recalls the day it happened. She recalls opening her eyes to Yuju's tear-streaked face, and recalls her pain doubling immediately at the sight of the pair of teary eyes. 

ShinB had felt tired and weak, but seeing Yuju cry for a reason everyone knows what is her made her feel even worse. She was too sick and tired to ponder over what she was feeling, but now that she recalls it, she wonders: has anyone's tears ever made her heart ache so badly, and made her feel so weak and small? The sense of guilt when she knew Yuju's tears were because of her, and the sense of guilt for being the reason to the staining tears on the beautiful face that usually brings her smiles, she has never felt it before. 

It definitely is love, she thinks as a pained smile forms on her lips, seeing Yuju unnie in pain is excruciating for me too.

Just then, Yuju walks into the kitchen. Startled, ShinB almost drops the plate. 

Yuju turns around and notices ShinB's large glaring eyes, reciprocating them with her own shocked eyes. 

"Unnie, why are you here?" ShinB blurts first before thinking. 

"Why can't I be here?" Yuju replies with a question. 

ShinB is about to open but stops herself as her initial train of thought return to her mind at the sight of Yuju. The guilt piles up in her again, as well as the manifold thoughts that just had went through her mind about her feelings for Yuju. It dawns upon her then, that even now that she's sure of her feelings, she isn't yet ready for Yuju to know about them.

Hurriedly she washes off the soap on the dishes and set them to dry, before rushing her way out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. She climbs up the bed and hides herself under the covers all in a split second, fearing that Yuju would return any time then. 

author's notes:

[230730] edits made here too~