September 3, 2015

Dear diary,

You know… I thought that school was going to be easier, but it’s worse! If anything… I got worse! I’m procrastinating like crazy and barely doing any of my homework. I don’t understand the material or anything! You know what… I don’t care anymore… but I probably should.

It’s probably really boring you hearing me stress out about school work so I’ll tell you something a little juicer. So I used to have this long crush on this one girl back in fifth grade, but being a grade student, I didn’t know what love was. The only thing I remember was thinking, “Wow, I wanna be her friend.”

Anyways, my other friends started teasing me in sixth and seventh grade about being gay because I always talked about how pretty girls were and I was really skin-shippy. One day in eighth grade, my friend teased me again and when I was saying my usual, “I swear I’m no lesbian,” the image of that girl sprang into my head and all of a sudden a rush of thoughts were crammed into my mind and I subconsciously turned to my other friend who was in front of me and muttered, “Holy … I think I’m gay…”

Literally, I’ve had a crush on that girl since fifth grade through ninth grade. Why did I stop liking her? Well, I was low-key rejected. Pretty much I “pranked” her by texting her that I liked her (my friend was next to her so if things went wrong she could tell her that it was a prank) and I got no reply. I got a text from my friend saying that she got a small panic attack and then I texted to my ex-crush that it was a prank. She sent back, “Oh…. Thank god,” I don’t think my heart ever went through that type of pain before. Oh well… what did I expect? That one friend and my crush went to a different middle school so my friend became kind of a spy for me. She later told me that my crush was aual… I asked her why she didn’t tell me before and she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s sweet of her but it kind of broke my heart to find out the hard way…

You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this, it’s because they enrolled at the same high school that I did! I didn’t realize until now because of the crowded hallways and we didn’t have any classes together. My ex-crush's name is Sowon and she looks exactly the same, tall, elegant and just beautiful. On the other hand, my Lil henchmen change a lot! She’s in my class but I didn’t realize it was her! Apparently, she was always trying to get my attention but I didn’t realize because I’m kinda a nerd and I get immersed in my studies. Her name is Yuju and she ain’t so little anymore! My friend’s and I used to call her our midget but now she's way taller than me! I’M THE MIDGET NOW! She got bangs that cover her forehead now instead of having them pushed to the side and her cheekbones and jawline are so… sharp!

We are going out tonight to catch up on everything and I’ll have to interrogate Yuju to find out how she got so tall!

I need to get ready because I’m still in my school uniform… I’m pretty lazy…

Well, until next time!

EunHa