November 17, 2015

Dear diary,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? A lot has happened in this month. First of all… Sinb and Umji are dating… It’s quite surprising; I’d never expected that Umji was a lesbian. I kinda guessed that Sinb was either Pan or Bi, she’s Pan, but Umji was always so reserved. It was probably bad of me to assume anything, but who could blame me. Umji just never struck me as a lesbian, and being lesbian as well, it was kind of a real shock. Anyways, they’ve been dating for 2 weeks now and it’s adorable. It kind of makes me jealous of them sometimes. Sometimes I look at them and wish that I’d find someone like that one day.

A week ago, I came out to them and told them that I liked Yerin, and they weren’t really surprised.

“We knew it,” Sinb laughed when I told her. “Girl, you’re kind of easy to read!”

“Well it’s only obvious to us because we are also gay,” I remember Umji saying this as she jabbed Sinb’s side, “but don’t worry, outside of us, it kind of seems like you two are pretty close, so if you’re worrying about Yerin or anyone else suspecting your uality then you don’t have to worry.”

That was kind of a relief, hearing Sinb saying it was obviously made me have a little heart attack. Although I do want to tell Yerin, my heart wasn’t really ready yet. Ever since then, they’ve kind of been my wingmen. Sinb was frank about it, always telling me that it probably wasn’t going to happen while Umji told me to believe. To be honest, I don’t know which one I liked to hear more. I hated hearing that I had no chance but at the same time I didn’t want to hear something meant for only comfort. I don’t know, maybe one day I’ll tell her. Maybe senior year, so then only the last couple days I see her it won’t be awkward.

Umji didn’t like that idea, she always said what if she does like me and then I only have those last days to spend time with her. I would hate that, but that chance was unlikely. But what if it wasn’t? I don’t know anymore. There has been a lot of drama and decisions.

My love life is hectic!

EunHa