December 3, 2015

Dear diary,

This week has been absolutely terrible... 

About a couple weeks ago, I told my "friend" Sana that I was a lesbian and that I had a crush on Yerin. I thought I could've trusted her, as we've known each other because we were in the same choir together at one point. We still talked and I considered her to be pretty close. It took me some time to get the courage to actually tell her that I was attracted to girls, and she supported me. I was happy. Until yesterday.

She texts me "Ur going to love/hate me", which at this moment my heart was racing, as I subconsciously knew what she did. I was wishing that it wasn't true, but I replied, "what?"

She had told Yerin that I was a lesbian. How could she do that? I trusted her with this secret and she goes and tells her. The worst thing was, Sana wasn't even sorry. After a while, I joke it off saying "How did she react?" 

Sana sends me the conversation that she and Yerin had. I was reading it and was happy that Yerin was supportive, but then I saw something that made me lose it. Not only did Sana tell her that I was lesbian. She also told her that I had a crush on her. What am I supposed to do? Yerin knows, and I never even intended on telling her anyways! Sana put me in such a terrible spot. It broke me. I cried all night. 

Today is Sunday, and I'll have to face Yerin. Yerin doesn't know that Sana told me. What am I supposed to do? Do I confront her about it and tell her that I know that Sana told her, or do I pretend like I don't know? They're both terrible ideas... Even at times like this, I just want to see Yerin... but how am I supposed to face her now?

Eunha