"MAMAMOO, please get ready you're the next group to be up!" The standby staff of today's music show poked her head into the waiting room signalling us to get ready for our 피아노맨 (Piano Man) comeback stage. The filming has been delayed for an hour.

"Wheerun-ie! Does my bangs look okay?" Byulyi unnie anxiously looked towards me as she tried to tidy up her hair that was messed up during our 007 SPY game just awhile ago, before we were called upon.

"Oh! Erm... Yeah... They're looking great!" Without even glancing towards her, I replied, startled at the fact that Byulyi unnie asked for my opinion. I know that she must be looking at me, waiting to make an eye contact with me.

It has been really long since we had our gaze met... Eversince that day...

At that, I immediately turned towards the door and walked out of the waiting room while pulling Yongsun unnie along. 

Don't look back, Jung Wheein! Don't... Don't... Don't look back at her... Don't... Don't cry... You're going to ruin your make up... Coordi unnie is going to beat you up for it! Don't think about it... Just don't...

As I walked towards the stage, my vision turned blurry from the tears that was about to overflow anytime. Eversince that day Yongsun unnie cried hard in my arms, I could no longer look at Byulyi unnie the same way ever again. I can no longer look at Byulyi unnie's eyes, knowing that I would be hurting someone's heart. During practices, I stared at everything but her face. When we had meals as a group together, I would look at everyone but her. Even when we were alone in the dorm, I could not bring myself to look at that pair of eyes which entranced me that day. Because... Because I'm afraid... Because I'm afraid that I would fall for this girl who meet my gaze... Because I'm afraid I will hurt that other girl who always walks behind me, looking at my shadow casted on the ground with her tear-filled eyes... Because I'm afraid the deeper I fall, the more hard it is to get out, the more I'm going to be hurt...

"Wheein-ah," Yongsun unnie tried to wriggle her wrist out of my grip. "You're hurting me..."

Releasing her hand, I sighed as I leaned against the wall right beside the entrance to the stage. "Sorry unnie, I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"I know..." Yongsun unnie reached out her hands to hold on to mine. "I know you never want to hurt me... I know you will never hurt me... Honestly, I'm slightly glad that the one you dragged out was me, not her. I have always known that you would keep the promise that day, even though you did not explicity make one... Sorry for making you become like this because of my own selfishness... Even so, I hate to see you cry Wheein-ah... I love to see you laughing... Can you smile for me?"

I looked up from our hands and tried my hardest to shine my brightest smile, even to the extent where I felt my lips hurt from the stretch. As I smiled, I saw the pain hidden in Yongsun unnie's eyes. The pain that is slowly killing her inside. The pain that she had been disguising all this while, up till today. It pains her to see this smile infront of her, because deep within she knows that this smile is not real. This smile is merely a mask to keep others from worrying. A mask, to keep her from worrying. A mask, to prevent her from hurting. Yet, this smile is the one that hurts her the most... hurts her even more than that day... That day when she realised that I have fallen for Byulyi unnie...

"Unnie... Are you that person?" I mustered my courage to ask, not willing to be left confused anymore.

Yongsun unnie was slightly startled at the sudden question. "Wheein-ah... I..." She sighed before continuing, "as much as I want to tell you, I can't because..."

"Are you guys rushing for a leaving KTX or something?" We heard Hyejin's voice inch closer and Yongsun unnie immediately released her grasp on my hand without finishing her sentence.

"These days you don't even wait for me anymore JUNG WHEEIN! Is it you have a new bestie in mind now?" Jokingly, she walked closer and gave a punch to my shoulder cheekily. "Do that one more time and you will say 'Baby Bye Bye' to me~" She played a joke on the song that I used to sing back in middle school.

My gaze should have been kept on Hyejin but I can't help myself from noticing Byulyi unnie who came through the entrance right after her. It was a mistake to lose control over myself, because it was at that moment our eyes met... Again... After nearly 3 weeks. Those eyes, no longer smiled. Instead, they were once again filled with sorrow. The sorrow that was present before our conversation on the rooftop.

"Hmm... 3 minutes before you're going up! Do some final touch up if you need!" The stage manager quickly shouted instructions at us before continuing to busy himself with the happenings on stage.

"Give us 1 minute," Like a gush of wind, Byulyi unnie swiftly took my left hand and pulled me towards the stage entrance that we entered from.

"No, not now!" Tugging at my right arm, was Yongsun unnie. Firm on her stand, she continued, "Byul, our comeback stage is in 3 minutes. You know you don't want to ruin this".

"Just 1 minute." There was no sign that Byulyi unnie is going to back down either.

"I have already agreed to that ridiculous choreography that you wanted. What more do you want? What else do you want?!" It was a relief that all the staff around were too busy to notice this rookie girl group waiting backstage.

"I thought we held no grudges to the choreo... I... I... I just want us to be back to normal," Byulyi unnie sighed, sounding as though she was really puzzled.  "You and I. Wheein and I. Back to the day we had our first full practice for 피아노맨 (Piano Man)... Back to that moment where you agreed to use the dance... Back to that moment where..." She looked at me, unsure if she should continue. "Where we were just having our first round of actual practice."

"2 more minutes! Please get ready to move to my colleague at the backdrop!" The stage manager directed us with his eyes still fixed on the group that is singing on stage. 

"We will be normal. Yongsun unnie and you. I will erase myself from the picture so that we will all be normal again. I'm tired of trying to find out everything when none of you are going to tell me. Let's treat it as 'that person' never existed. We will now all return to that day where I came back home from the hospital, except that we have debuted and it is our comeback stage today." Without catching any breaths in between, those words left my mouth. "From now on I will have no feelings of love except for when I'm on stage putting a show for our MooMoos," I pulled my hands out from both of theirs and walked towards the colleague that the stage manager mentioned.

Even though it was hurting... Even though my heart was hurting... Even though my heart is having thousands of swords stabbing at it... I will do this... I need to do this... Or we will all fall apart... In pain... In tremendous pain...

Hyejin was the first to walk over and she gave me a worried look. She stood at her position with a frown visible between her well drawn brows. Without even speaking, she knows that I am not okay. She knows that there is something bothering me. But she wouldn't probe... Because she trusts me... She trusts that I would tell her when the time is right... When I am ready...

The music started to play and all of us became professionals on stage, no one would have known that moments ago, this girl group was just quarrelling backstage. 

Once again, Byulyi unnie's solo part came by and I could see the uncomfortable heart behind Yongsun unnie's smile. 

At this moment, I'm not the normal girl Jung Wheein who will fall in love. At this moment, I am the idol Jung Wheein. The idol who does not even have time to fall in love. The idol who will only act like she's in love infront of the camera.

Byulyi unnie's hand grabbed hold onto my wrist an