The door creaked open as I pushed against it to enter the room.

"Hyejin-ah..." Her voice was soft but I could clearly hear the sadness embedded within it.

"Yeah?" I headed towards the wardrobe, picking out a fresh set of clothes as fast as possible so that I could escape from her teary eyes.

"I'll agree to the four of us moving out, but in exchange..." She stood up from the bed and started moving towards me. The awkwardness between us after the quarrel at the practice room this afternoon was still evident and in fact, it was growing within the four walls of our bedroom. Stuttering, she tried to piece out her words. "Erm... Erm... You will promise to meet me for dinner... At least once a week... No... Make it twice a week... And starting from tomorrow onwards. Deal?"

"Why would you want to have dinner with me?" Surprised at her unexpected request, I finally looked towards her. Her hair was in a mess but she shone a comforting smile towards me. "I mean... After what happened today we should be on bad terms..."

"That's why we should amend our relationship." Gingerly, she picked up my hand with hers. "No matter what we'll still be in the same group, so as the leader... I will not allow us to drift apart, neither will I allow our relationship to sour."

"Relationship..?" I probed further, secretly hoping that it was what I have in my mind.

"Yeah... Aren't we in a relationship?" She nodded while replying. "Hyejin-ah... Do you not regard me as a sister?"

"..." With my hopes shattered, I could not find any words to reply. Mumbling to myself, I could hear my heart break into pieces. "Sure... Of course you're a sister to me... We're just sisters... That's right... Nothing more..."

"What do you mean by nothing more? I can be your girlfriend too!" Playfully, Yongsun unnie knocked my shoulders trying to lighten the mood between us.

"My girlfriend?!" I jumped at the declaration.

"I mean... Girl-friend. Like you know friend that is a female?" Giggling to herself, she just made an innocent joke out of me...

"Oh..." I nodded while looking away so as to disguise the hurt in my eyes. "Of course that's what you meant..."

What else would you be thinking of?

Ahn Hyejin, Yongsun unnie has someone else in her heart.

Stop being so foolish!

"Sorry for being a burden to you in the past and making you take care of me." Yongsun unnie patted on my head like how a parent would do to their little child. Shining her puppy eyes at me, she diverted the conversation smoothly. "If there's anything bothering you, tell me. I'll take care of you from now on Hyejin-ah! I'll be a responsible leader and take care of our maknae~ So don't be angry at me anymore alrights?"

"You don't understand... You really don't..." Muttering under my breath, I knew that she would never hear those words. "Don't worry, I won't get angry anymore. I don't have the right to."

I can't blame you for not knowing...

No matter how much I want to...

"Huh?" Her face was overwhelmed with confusion.

"It's okay." Leaving two pats on her shoulders, I picked up the fresh set of clothing and headed towards the door. "I'm going to wash up. You can sleep first, as usual."

"You will sleep here tonight right?" Her words made me stop dead in my tracks. "The past two weeks I've seen you sneaking out to sleep in the living room every night and waking up the earliest just to avoid letting me know..."

She knew...

She knew that I was having sleepless nights...

Did she perhaps... Took notice of me?

Don't be silly, Ahn Hyejin.

You can not fall any deeper.

You have to stop yourself.

"I can't promise that." With that, I turned the metal doorknob that felt cold to the touch and walked out of the room. "But I'll try... Just... Goodnight unnie." Pulling the door to a close behind me, a droplet trickled down my cheeks.

Just like what Byulyi unnie said...

Unnie, you will never know unless it's all placed before you fully...

But I can never tell you because it will only end up hurting myself...

3 Hours ago...

The warm summer air carressed my cheeks as it blew towards the tall tree I was leaning against. Rustling leaves broke the silence that was engulfing the whole park. Or maybe... Just the silence that was echoed in my heart...

The white fluffy clouds looks so pretty in the clear blue sky...

That looks like a fish... I wish I was as carefree as a fish...

That looks like a baby... I wish to live wihout worries, just like a baby...

That looks like her... 

I wish... I could bring her out of those pain... 

I wish... I could be the reason she smiles...

"Have you calmed down?" A familiar bottle entered my vision field, but this time round, the bottle was filled to the brim. Tracing upwards, I glanced towards the voice that interrupted my thoughts.

"Byulyi unnie?" I raised my eyebrows upon discovering her. Grabbing the bottle from Byulyi unnie's hands, I gulped down ferociously before continuing. "Why are you here? Where's Wheein-ie? She should be the one appearing to console me right now."

"Then I'll be the one beside Yongsun unnie?" She brushed her pants lightly before taking a seat beside me under the big tree. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"No thanks. Forget that I've ever said that." With my hands clenched into a fist, I waved them infront of her. "You better stay true to Wheein-ie. I'll beat you up if you ever crush her heart." 

"Just kidding~ Besides, Wheein will be too jealous to leave unnie and I alone. She would rather have me here to cheer you up, don't you think?" Byulyi unnie tried her best to shoot me a wink but all I saw was a hamster having cramps on her face, causing me to burst out in laughter.

Seeing that I had no time to catch my breath, Byulyi unnie drew me back to our previous conversation. "So... Do you want to tell me why you're angry?"

"I beg your pardon?" Immediately my laughter stopped. "Don't you already know why?"

"No I don't. Well... Actually I do but I want to hear it from you." Slumping down to lie on the grass patch, Byulyi unnie placed both her hands behind her head and stared straight into the baby blue painted sky. "Everything is going as you have planned. We're moving out soon... Your feelings are hidden away perfectly... I don't see why you had a reason to get that angry back there. You didn't have to go to that extent of saying those mean words when you can just tell her that we are just planning to be independent. We could have settled it nicely without hurting anyone with good reasonings."

"I was angry because she didn't understand our explanations. Wasn't that pretty obvious Byulyi unnie?" I scoffed, clearly knowing that she was enquiring despite having full grasp of the situation. "Stop asking stupid questions when you clearly know the answers."

"To be honest that wasn't 'our explanations' it was largely your feelings." Staring right at me, it was Byulyi unnie's turn to raise her eyebrows. "Your feelings when you're around her."

"What are you trying to get at?" Returning the eye contact, I attempted to figure out what she was trying to do.

"Just trying to know why you're angry." She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"Because she didn't understand." Exasperated, I replied for the last time. At that moment, I swore I would have beaten her into a pulp if she wasn't Wheein-ie's favourite girl. My patience has its limits too. "I don't know why you're getting me to answer you like a five year old taking a quiz or something."

"Maybe it's because you're acting exactly like a five year old now." Calmly, she let those words out of before sitting back up.

"What?!" My volume was unusually loud due to the shock I received from this young lady seated infront of me.

"You were angry because she didn't understand what you tried to tell her--- your feelings, which you said you would hide. Doesn't that sound ironic to you? If you didn't tell her how do you expect her to know? Just like how Wheein didn't tell me she was afraid and only ran away. If you never once told her outrightly, how do you expect unnie to know miraculously?" Taking a pause in between, Byulyi unnie covered my mouth with her hand knowing that I would want to retaliate at any moment possible. "Just listen to me first... You blame her for not knowing but you were the one who said you would conceal everything in order to return to the past. That's exactly what five year olds do, wanting this but also that, all at the same time. Ahn Hyejin, don't you think it was wrong of you to push all the blame to unnie? Throwing her the mess when she clearly had no idea what exactly the mess was."

"Then are you telling me to lay out my feelings for her? Getting her to understand everything but putting our friendship at stake?" I removed her hand that was stopping my words. With the rise in anger within me, I could no longer control my tears that started to flow downwards. "Or do you want me to continue taking care of her when the name she calls every night is yours? Do you want me to tend her scarred heart, even if it means that I'll be hurt in the process?"

"No." Shaking her head, Byulyi unnie wiped my tears away with her bare hands. "I'm just telling you that avoiding her wouldn't solve the problem. True, you two both need time to think. So give Yongsun unnie some time to understand your feelings as well as her own feelings."

"Maybe she needs time. But I don't have the time to keep playing games with her. I'm human and it hurts." As those words left my mouth, I could feel the ache in my chest growing.

Yes it hurts...

It hurts so much to hear her calling for someone else every night when I'm the one beside her...

"Hyejin-ah, don't you want to try again? Are you sure you can really forget unnie?" Her voice was filled with concern as she tried to calm me down.

"Even if I want to try again, I have no idea how to. Except to outrightly tell her everything." I sighed, knowing that there are no other options left. "Which I can't because I don't want us to be even more awkward with each other."

"You could try using the adlib time during our comeback..." Giving me an encouragement nod, Byulyi unnie explained further. "I mean it's a perfect chance... If you happen to confess on stage but she didn't accept it, you can play it off as a mere stage antic."

Should I really try again?

"I'll think about it..." As I stood up from the grass patch, I picked up the empty bottle laying by my side which followed me all the way from the practice room thanks to the courtesy of Byulyi unnie. Tossing it into the bin at the sidewalk, I sighed as we headed towards the dormitory.

음오아예 (Um Oh Ah Yeah) Promotions...

19 June 2015...

"언니 이 여자 누구예요? (Unnie, who's that girl?)" Pointing towards the audience, I asked Yongsun unnie.

"여자였어?! (That's a girl?!)" Her ultimate shock face appeared on her face, no wonder she is labelled as the variety star amongst us, head to head with Wheein-ie.

Unnie you're so adorable...

I think I fell in love again...

Following the cues from the stage manager, we exited the stage and headed towards the waiting room.

"Don't you guys think that our adlib is repetitive?" Immediately sinking herself into the couch the moment we entered, Byulyi unnie pulled Wheein right to her side. Shooting a failed wink at Wheein, they were once again devising some evil plan amongst themselves. "I mean it's exactly what is said in the MV... Nothing special right Wheein?"

"Hmm... Yeah! I second that!"