The Nightmare...

It was the same stretch of road... Dark and neverending as it winds further into the dense forest.

The night has fallen and every living creature have went into a deep slumber as though fulfilling an unspoken promise. Everything was silent. Everything was still.

All except me... All except me who was walking along the long road stretching into eternity.

As I trudged wearily towards the unknown destination, the cold wind brushed pass my face and sent chills down my spine. Thunder resounded through the air and I could see the lightning cut across the sky. At any moment, the rain would start to pour and I would be drenched right down to the skin.

But It doesn't matter... Even if I'm soaked to the skin, nothing could be compared with the pain that is growing in my heart. The pain of losing something that was once so important to me. The pain that is growing within me for a reason that I am still unable to remember fully.

"Why didn't you tell me?" It was my voice that I heard, but I did not know why I spoke them. "I could have... I could have helped you lessen the worries... I thought... We were supposed to go through hardships together... Why? Why am I the last to know..?"

The phone in my hand started to buzz once again. I wanted to pick it up, but my hands were not under my control.

"Byulie, I'm sorry... All you wanted to do was to protect me from the pain..." Finally, I picked up the phone call as tears started to roll down my cheeks.

Protect me from the pain? But I am still hurting...

"Jung Wheein!" She sounded really anxious over my whereabouts. "Where are you? How can you leave the dorm just like that?! I'm so worried about you. Tell me where you are, I'll go find you."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you make me the last to know?" I sounded helpless and hopeless at the same time.

What was it that I wanted to know so desperately?

"You went there alone?" She paused. "Wheein-ya, I'm sorry... I didn't want to see you cry, I didn't mean to..." The call ended with a beep as my phone went dead. 

The rain started to pour from the sky as though on cue. I could no longer differentiate my tears from the rain.

"I didn't want to you to leave... I didn't want to say those harsh words... Why did you have to make me say those words?" Holding on to the nearest tree by my side, I used my last ounce of strength to keep me from falling from the immense pressure. "I wish you are here now Byulie... I miss you... And I love you... I don't want to lose you..."

The forest seemed to turn even darker in the rain. It was as though the whole world is crumbling down. I was all alone, with nothing to grab hold onto in the gloomy forest. Unknowingly, my heart broke into smithereens at the thought of losing her. The holllow feeling in my heart spread like deadly poison and started to consume me as a whole.

I'm in love with her... I was in love then... And I am still in love now...

The Reality...

"Wheein-ah... Wake up... Look at me! Wheein-ah..." Her delicate fingers tapped hard against my pale, frowning face.

My eyes shot wide open as I woke up at her call. Without even seeing clearly the person who shook me awake, I encircled my arms around her waist tightly. I do not know why, but the fear of loneliness engulfed me. All I knew was that I did not want to be by myself at this moment. Even if the person infront of me is a stranger, I will hold on to her tightly... I have to hold on to her so that I would be not be left alone...

I am afraid of this feeling... I am afraid of this feeling where my heart feels empty... I am afraid of this feeling where there is no one else but me..

My throat thirsts for a drop of water. My hands were cold as if I have been holding on to ice. My heart, was hammering hard, threatening to break out of the ribcage that was holding it in place. Tears ran out of my eyes uncontrollably, soaking her plain tee which I couldn't make out its colour in the dark room illuminated only by the moonlight. 

"Everything is alright, Wheein-ah... I'm here." She said in a comforting tone. Her hands were patting on my back, downwards to calm my shallow but laboured breaths. "It was just a nightmare, it's okay. It's over, you're awake now."

"I was all... All alone... There was only... Only me there..." I struggled to let those words escape my dry lips. "Everything was so silent... Everything was so eerily silent... And... And... Everything was falling apart too... My heart was breaking apart too... My heart hurts so much... It was like someone was physically tearing it apart to empty out all its contents... There was nothing else... Nothing else was there... Nothing was there... Nothing... Except... Except me..."

"There, there... It's alright, everything is fine now... I'm right here with you." Looking right at me, she wiped away the tears that were on my cheeks.

"Yongsun unnie?" I could see the tear stains on her face in the dim light.

Why would she be in my bedroom at this hour? Was she crying? Those tear stains on her face... Why?

"You must be wondering why I'm here at this hour..." Speaking at her normal volume, Yongsun unnie tidied my hair without breaking from our locked gaze. Those eyes of hers looked void and hollow like a deep dark cave.

"Shh..." I spoke in hushed tones, trying to keep our volume low. Placing a finger on her lips, my eyes turned to look towards the upper deck of the bunk bed. "We shouldn't speak too loud Byulyi unnie might wake up. "

"Byul is not here." Anger could be seen erupting from her eyes as she looked down to avoid my gaze that was directed back onto her. Her voice was stern as she continued. "She's up in the rooftop, probably repenting on what she has done. She ought to repent on it."

"Unnie..." Surprised at her sudden change in emotions, I backed away slightly. However, my attempts were futile as she reached out to grab my hands in hers and inched closer towards me.

"I'm here to tell you the truth, Wheein ah." Sitting right infront of me, she took a deep breath and prepared herself before continuing. "The person that you have been dating with previously was Byul. She had spoken the truth..." One of her hands moved to cover my mouth as she had foreseen that I would want to blast her with questions. "Listen to me first... It's true that you guys were together. But you guys broke up before your accident." 

It was a break up and not just a quarrel?

Why would we? Why would she choose to break up with me when she loves me? Her gaze during our closes proximity shows that she is in love with me... Or was I wrong all these while?

Wait... Was I the one who initiated the break up? But why would I still fall for her now if I had stopped wanting her previously?

"I know your heart is with her... I know you have fallen for her again, Wheein-ah... But I just want to warn you... Look, it must have been a bad experience for both of you. A break up that was serious enough to hurt both of you. I mean... If it wasn't unpleasant, why would you be able to remember everything else but not her? Why would you be willing to remember everything other than her? You were scarred so much that you are now in denial that those times you had with her existed... I don't want to see you hurt again Wheein-ah... Don't return to her... At least without remembering anything, we can stay as members like this. I'll be the one beside you..."

Ahhh... That's why all that is left in my phone were her messages of worry. That's why there were no messages that indicated our love for each other. That's why she never bothered to help me remember our past memories. That's why she chose to let us move on with life, throwing those memories away...

Because our love was a mistake that should be undone... Because our love was a mistake that she wants to erase... Because our love was a mistake that I want to erase...

It was a break up horrible enough that I deleted all her messages with me... It was a break up hellish enough that I wanted to forget about her...

"But... I still love her..." Lowering her hand covering my mouth, I bit my lower lip as I revealed my thoughts. "My heart would hurt if I were to hide my feelings for her..."

Even though I can't remember anything about her now, I know that my heart still yearns for her. Even though I can't remember anything about her now, I know my hands still craves for her warmth. Even though I can't remember anything about her now, I know that my eye wis